Page 62 of Invisible String
“Yes, we spoke of that. Kind of… You know very well that was before things between us escalated. Things have changed. Don’t you think?” I wrap my arms tightly around my shivering body, the dampness of my clothes clinging to my skin. The only light source comes from the porch lights, illuminating both houses.
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and remains silent for several heartbeats. His damp blue t-shirt molds to his muscular frame, the outline of each defined muscle visible through the fabric.
“I’ll admit things changed, and we got closer. This is why it’s best I leave now before it gets complicated.” He wipes the water splattering on my face. “We come from different worlds, you and I.”
Since when does money play a factor? I want to ask. Because what else would he be talking about? The fact that his dad was a dick or that his mom passed away?
“I don’t care about what fucking worlds you and I come from. All I want is you.” I swallow. “You are my world,” I whisper.
He closes his eyes, and his fists ball up.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he mumbles, turning his gaze from me almost as if he didn’t want me to hear it.
“What do you mean?”
His soft lips press on my wet cheek. The warmth of his kiss is there before it’s ripped from me.
“Us…”
My insides churn like a raging thunderstorm on the brink of unleashing a downpour of emotion. I’m paralyzed, words locked in my throat, as I struggle to confess the depth of my love for him. My heart pounds violently against my ribcage, a relentlessdrumbeat counting down the seconds. Time races against me, each tick of the clock a reminder that soon he’ll get in his car and disappear from my life. I knew this was a summer thing, but why can’t it be more?
“Us.” I make air quotes. “It happened when we were in the ninth grade. What a coincidence we ran into each other again. This has to mean something, Max. Because it means everything to me.” My voice rises. “Tell me, does it mean something to you?” My finger jabs into his hard chest. “We’ve made love, woken up in each other’s arms, eaten together, spent time together, I read to you. The list goes on.” My voice cracks in a pleading tone. “Tell me, did it all mean nothing to you?” There is no way I can live a life without him now. I’ve given him so many signs. Didn’t he see them?
His head tilts up as the pouring rain drips down his handsome face.
“It meant more than I can express, Rainey. I have told you the truth. I haven’t been with anyone like I have been with you.”
I can sense a deeper meaning behind his words, and it gives me a glimmer of hope and relief. But the feeling quickly dissipates when he tilts his head and looks at me with somber eyes.
“But I still need to go back to Vegas, and you need to return to school. You have a lot going on for yourself, sunshine.”
“What’s going to happen between us? Will we still see one another?” I know the answer before it leaves his lips. I’ve known all along. I hate sounding desperate.
His throat tightens, and he averts his gaze, avoiding eye contact with me. “I’m sorry, Rainey. It’s best we move on from one another. We live in different cities, and I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
A thousand weights crush my chest. I let myself fall all over again, but this time it was different. I’m no longer a little girl. Weshared so much together in this short time—a connection and chemistry unlike any other. Max is not one to notice. I notice his stone walls are being built brick by brick. The ones he cracked open for me to see.
“Tesoro, it’s cold. Go inside. You’re soaked.”
“That’s it?” My voice rises. “‘Go inside’ like it all meant nothing. What a bland goodbye.” With a strong force, I grip his shirt and pull him toward me. His head dips to my level. “You know what, Max Cano? I’m in love with you.”
His chest rises and falls. His locked jaw keeps him silent. I shake my head and release him. Taking a step back. He doesn’t love me, and that’s fine.
His eyes soften. “I need to go.”
A broken laugh escapes my soul. I’m going fucking mad crazy. He has to go. That’s what he has to say after I poured my heart out to him. Wrapping my arms around my middle, I nod.
“Rainey.” His voice is low and strained.
My voice falters as I speak. “Don’t,” I say, trying to hold back my emotions. “This is the second time you’ll disappear from my life. But before you walk out of here, can I ask you for something?” As a deep rumble echoes in the distance, the rain eases up, falling in soft pitter-patters on the gravel.
He nods, his eyes pinning me. God, I wonder what is going on in his mind, and what I would give to read it. His walls are solid and robust and stand like an immovable fortress.
“Yes, ask.”
“You once said you’d do anything for me.” I wipe the tears with the back of my hand. “Stay or keep in touch with me. Fall in love with me. Love me.”
How many times can you lose the one you love?
