Page 127 of Deep In Love
She knows exactly what I mean.
“Oh, a few months into your program. Caught you ogling him while his back was turned. Then I watched him do the same. Been trying to shove you two together since.”
“Why do you think I agreed to Mateo’s pestering about holding joint meetings?” Dan asks.
“Because you guys love being with each other?” Mateo offers.
Cheryl cackles like that was the most insane thing he’s ever said. She’s an icon.
“Oh, honey, no. I see him plenty at home.” She barrels over Dan’s guffaws and continues, “We did it so you two had to spend time together because it wasn’t going to happen otherwise.”
Now she’s looking at me, giving me a knowing look. Mateo’s hand is still in my lap, and he’s finally caught up, which mean she’s starting to laugh—loudly.
“So you two are dating, right?” Dan asks.
Mateo peers down at me, love radiating from him as his hand squeezes mine. He’s giving me an option to tell them or to evade, not that our hand-holding isn’t evidence enough.
If I shook my head, he would honor the decision. But I know it would kill him—the thought he isn’t worthy of the declaration, or that I’m still unsure about us.
I’ve never been more confident about something in my life.
My features are granite as I turn to Cheryl.
“You know what they say.” I shrug. “It’s an easy evolution from hate to love.”
“Love?” she shrieks, her face red with excitement.
“It was hardnotto fall in love with him.”
I’m staring directly at him when the words escape my lips. If I could only accomplish one thing in life, it would be loving Mateo in the way he deserves—freely, fully, without reservations.
I want him to feel as loved as I do, as cherished as I am.
He helped me find my shine again, and while there’s still so much work I need to do—process my trauma and build myself-confidence—it’s easier to face those battles knowing he’ll be right there, holding my hand and giving me a shove when I need it.
When I need a shoulder, he’s there, but I want to be his shoulder, too. Take care of him when he has headaches in the morning and make him soup when he’s sick. Cheer him on in his achievements and pick him up when he fails. I want to end the night in bed, quietly watching videos and appreciating the time we get together.
He winks,and my cheeks flush.
I’m never going to get used to how beautiful he is.
“Charlie decided hating me was a useless endeavor and fell in love with my intellect and charm,” he teases.
Cheryl and Dan laugh when I knock his shoulder with mine.
They offer congratulations, which seems excessive, but we thank them anyway, before the meeting shifts toward its true purpose.
Mateo debriefs them about the trip, explaining what samples we collected, how many were processed in the lab, and how many are being shipped to the university. We give them the list of species we couldn’t identify or wanted second opinions about, then show them the video footage of the whale fall I convinced Vivian to steal for me.
It’s the highlight of the meeting—outside of me admitting I fell in love with Mateo—and we spend nearly an hour pausing clips to nerd out about the organisms scavenging the whale carcass. This is what I was hoping for on the boat, but everyone got weirded out by the mention of bone-eating worms, and the vibe died.
The vibe is back, baby.
We discuss less exciting things—manuscript edits and the biology labs Mateo and I run—before they send us on our way, another round of congratulations filtering through the hallway. We’re halfway back to our desks when Mateo snatches my hand and changes course.
He peeks his head into his lab, looking left and right, before pulling me over the threshold and slamming the door shut behind us.
A question sits on the tip of my tongue, likeWhat the hell has gotten into you?But it’s silenced as Mateo lifts me off the ground and onto the lab bench.
