Page 128 of Deep In Love
“I’ve always wanted to do this,” he admits.
“Sit me on the lab bench?” I ask. “This has to be against safety protocol.”
“No,” he responds. The curve of his mouth is sinful as he says, “Kiss the shit out of you in the lab.”
His lips are on mine before I can remind him we made out on the boat, in almost this exact position. I melt into him, the world fading away as his fingers trail up the back of my neck and tangle into my hair.
The kiss is unhurried as he explores my mouth.
When he finally pulls away, I’m practically panting.
“So, did it meet your expectations?” I tease.
His tongue darts out, tracing the seam of his lips. “Exceeded expectations. But that shouldn’t surprise me with you.” His thumb pulls down my bottom lip. “Everything you do is remarkable.”
A blush creeps onto my cheeks, and he chuckles, helping me down from the benchtop. I’m wobbly on my feet thanks to the kiss and his proximity, but if three weeks crowded in a small cabin wasn’t enough to kill the butterflies every time he passes by, then I fear it’s going to be a lifelong sensation.
“I’m kinda excited to get back to normal,” he admits, holding my hand as we return to the PhD room.
Based on the odd looks some of the other graduate students are giving us, I wouldn’t say we’re back to normal. It was common knowledge I wasn’t Mateo’s biggest fan, and now we’re holding hands and I’m smiling like a lovestruck idiot.
The urge to yell,No, he isn’t holding me hostage—unless you consider being dick-whipped a form of glorious torture. He simply convinced me to fall in love with him. Shocking, I know. Let’s all move along,is nearly overwhelming, but I’m not in the mood for a speech this morning, so I make prolonged, uncomfortable eye contact with every other person until they look away.
Mateo is blissfully unaware of the people staring, and while the instinct to shy away from them still lingers, it’s not an incessant voice in my head.
It’s quiet with him, and one day, I’ll learn to silence it on my own.
He sits down at his desk, and it’s like every other day. He starts to hum a tune—this time it’s One Direction, which warms my heart. He’s listening to the playlist I made him. The sound of shuffled papers and tapping on keyboards fills the space, and I should start working, but I can’t stop staring at him.
Perfect chocolate-brown hair, swept back like it takes no effort at all. I’ve learned it takes two hair products and at least ten minutes of rearranging the strands. Coy dimples and cocky smirks. Broad shoulders and hidden tattoos.
He leans to the right to hide behind his monitor.
“I can’t work if you keep staring at me,” he says, laughter lacing his voice. My nose scrunches. “Stop frowning, bruja, and get to work.”
“You can’t even see me,” I grumble, opening my laptop to work on the lab protocols.
“Don’t need to.” His head darts back into view, and he offers me a beaming smile and then chucks a chocolate at my head.
It hits my forehead before dropping to the desk.
I stare at him, stunned.
Guess I didn’t need to spend the morning worrying about our new normal and if working across from each other would be weird. Luckily, Mateo is reestablishing the status quo: he annoys me and feeds me chocolate, and I have to pretend his smile doesn’t send vibrations to my vagina.
It really is another average, pre-voyage day.
The wrapper is open and the chocolate is devoured before I respond. “You’ll pay for that later.”
He winks. “I hope so.”
He returns to his work, and I focus on mine, but every so often, he flutters into my thoughts, even though he’s a foot away. I’m still evolving—learning to admire myself, to trust in myself and others,let go of the trauma that holds me back—but he gives me faith I can tackle everything in my path.
I’ve always held a lot of weight in luck and the universe, in Charles Darwin and the theory of evolution. In crystals and astrology. All of these things have brought me peace when life is heavy, but they all pale in comparison to the kind I’ve found with him.
The research cruise gave me so many things: new friends, a revitalized sense of self, and once-in-a-lifetime memories. But most of all, it led me to Mateo.
I can visualize the life we’ll build together. Completing our PhDs and starting postdoc positions. Traveling the world. Growing together, but discovering who we are individually. An intimate wedding with our friends and family. A home with a large study and two wooden desks facing each other. Children, if we both want them.
