Page 20 of This Blood That Binds Us
“Exactly. You can’t even be sure of what you saw. You’re probably just traumatized.”
But I met him. The words lingered on my tongue, but I couldn’t bring myself to say them. He was never going to believe me. Even if he was here, it wasn’t in his nature to believe things he couldn’t make sense of. It was our constant source of tension. When I said the sky was the limit, Chris had a way of weighing me down and keeping my feet firmly planted on the Earth.
I got up from the bench and smoothed my wind-blown hair. “You’re right. I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
He sighed. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just don’t want you there alone, scaring yourself with weird theories.”
“What does that mean?”
“It just means...you’re alone there, and you don’t have anybody. I want to be there for you, but it’s hard sometimes. I’ve got my own stuff going on here. I got a new promotion ...”
“Oh, I had no idea...that’s amazing. You should be proud of that.”
“I am...but sometimes, I wish you would have just moved up here with me.”
“New York was your dream. The city...big business. That’s so you.. .you were made for it. I’m not.”
“I know, I just...I can’t be there for you like you need me to be. I’m—I’m only going to keep letting you down.”
“Yeah, I know...” With my shaky hand, I wiped a tear from my eye. “You don’t have to worry about me. I don’t need someone to take care of me.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“I better go. It’s getting dark here at the bus stop, and I don’t want to get kidnapped, so I’ll talk to you later.”
“Kim.”
“Congratulations on your promotion . . . I’m happy for you.”
Tears flowed from my eyes, and I dug my fingernails into my palms. Every time I tried to hold on to our friendship, it seemed to slip farther and farther from my fingers. I kept holding on because I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go. Letting go meant admitting our friendship might not last.
Chris always talked about moving to the city. I thought things would be different. I thought it would still be like the old days, where I could call him for anything, and he’d be there. But it was obvious to me things had changed. He was ready for that change, and I wasn’t.
A lump settled in my throat as I made my way back toward my dorm.I hated the word “alone.” I didn’t want to identify with that word, not when I was so many other things. But it seemed to follow me and show up at the worst moment. The moon lingering in the pink sky followed me with each step.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. All those years of therapy had actually paid off. I glanced at the clock on my phone. I had planned to go straight to urgent care after showing Chris my shoulder. But it was that or the party. I couldn’t do both.
My shoulder could wait till morning. What was a few more hours? The party could be fun, and I could even wear my newdress. As long as I wore a long-sleeved turtle neck under it, of course. That would definitely cheer me up.
My stomach wasin knots as I made my way up the stairs to the large wooden doors of the OBA frat house. The tall windows and white pillars loomed over me like an omen. Dark red bricks blended into the trees surrounding it. The cool night air buzzed with the muffled music and laughter. It was dark, and I felt a lot less confident than I had just a few hours before.
My hand on the doorbell, I hesitated, adjusting the hem of my plaid dress. Was this a doorbell-type occasion? What if that was the most socially awkward thing I could do at this party?
Thankfully, a short, blonde-haired boy with curls who greeted me with a smile interrupted my back-and-forth. He was interestingly dressed with a pair of bright pink swim shorts, a neon green-and-white-striped button-up and Croc slides adorned with emojis and icons. It was a chaotic look that reminded me of the 80s, but strangely, he pulled it off well.
“Hi!” His voice was light and enthusiastic. “Nice to see ya. Come on in.”
“Oh...uh. I’m sorry. I was supposed to meet someone here. His name is William. He’s the one who invited me.”
His wide smile turned down. “Uh, I don’t know any William. Did he say he lived here?”
“Well, not exactly.. .I...uh.” I was starting to get frazzled. It was a combination of the sound bursting my ear drums and the thought that I may have just made a fool out of myself. “I’m sorry. He invited me. I’ll just go.”
“W-Wait! I’m officially inviting you.” He held out his hand. “I’m Presley.”
I must have hesitated a second too long, since he said, “I don’t bite. Promise.”
Stifling a nervous laugh, I shook his hand. “I’m Kimberly. It’s nice to meet you.”
