Page 41 of Perfectly Imperfect Us
Every time I thought of Ryder today I’d pushed him out of my head, mostly unsuccessfully. Everything around town reminded me of him, which was an unfair play on the universe’s part. There were even magazines at the gas station with his picture on them when I’d stopped to fill up Ol’ Tucker’s tank. I guess that was one way to force me to think about him and process some of this pain that threatened to bring me to my knees.
My phone vibrated on the bed, alerting me to another text. My heart still leaped each time it vibrated even though Ryder had stopped trying to contact me around two o’clock today. Probably one of the girls checking up on me.
I grabbed the phone and unlocked the screen. I gasped.
It was a text from Ginnie, the supermodel Ryder had introduced me to.
Ginnie:Hey girl, I was thinking about you tonight.
Ava:Hi, Ginnie! I’m good. Okay, that’s a lie. I’m going through ice cream by the gallon.
Ginnie:Let me guess, boy trouble? Am I going to have to help you hide Ryder’s body?
Ava:Ha! Not quite to that level of anger, but yeah, we broke up.
Ginnie:I saw those pics of him and Kyly yesterday and wondered what was up. I’m sorry, girl. Just remember, you were a shining star way before some man showed up. And you’ll continue to be that star long after he’s gone.
My eyes filled with tears, and with a snort, I was amazed I had the hydration levels to keep up with this amount of crying.
Ava:Thank you for reminding me. I know I’ll be okay eventually. I’m just kinda going with the anger right now and making sure I’m showing up for myself.
Ginnie:Exactly right! In fact, I have an offer for you that might be just the distraction you need.
Ava:I’m all ears…
Ginnie:I wish I’d thought of it sooner, but hey, my brilliant brain works slow. I have a fashion show for my own line in just under two weeks here in Los Angeles. It’s my first one and I’m nervous, girl! I’ll fly you out here and you can come as my personal guest. Film it, get behind the scenes with me, and create a YouTube video. Help me raise awareness for vitiligo and my fashion line.
My jaw dropped and I sat there stunned, re-reading the message several times before it sank in. An international supermodel was inviting me to do a video behind the scenes with her to raise awareness for the disease I also lived with? I shot off the bed and did a crazy victory dance before I calmed down enough to text back.
Ava:I have no words, Ginnie. You might just be my fairy god sister. I’m so in I’m gonna start packing now. THANK YOU! You won’t regret this.
Ginnie:*heart emoji* I know I won’t. This will be fantastic and I’m so excited to meet you in person. Send me your email address and I’ll send you the flight information. Ryder who??
Ava:lol Your distraction technique is on point, my friend.
My phone went dark as my brain lit up with ideas. Ways I could highlight how brilliant Ginnie was with her new take on what makes a woman beautiful. Camera filters I wanted to try. What kind of shots that would show off just what a vitiligo patient sees in the mirror and juxtapose that with what the media showed us was the standard for beauty. My creativity was on speed, downloading so many ideas I had to get a notebook out and start writing them down.
A frenzied hour later, when I finally put the pen down after pages of notes, I took a deep breath and realized the ache in my chest was still there. Muted, for sure, in the face of such good news, but still there. The only reason I even knew Ginnie was because of Ryder’s introduction.
I stood up and put the notebook away for tomorrow. Turning off the light, I snuggled into bed and closed my eyes. There was no use turning down this opportunity simply because Ryder had a hand in it. Opportunities like this one didn’t come along every day and I’d be a fool to let my pride prevent me from doing what I loved to do. For all I knew, dating Ryder may have simply been the universe’s way of boosting me into the life and profession I wanted.
Maybe the whole point of the experience wasn’t to fall in love with Ryder, but to fall in love with myself.
17
Ryder
The week trudged on, oblivious to the fact that I’d lost all joy for everything. The sun kept shining, my parents kept playing tennis like my heartache didn’t matter, the birds kept chirping outside my window at five in the morning, not caring at all that I’d barely gotten to sleep around three due to staring at the pictures of Ava I’d taken and wondering how I could have messed things up so badly.
A loud bang had me sitting up in bed and blinking sleep from my eyes. Guess I’d fallen back asleep after the avian wake-up call a few hours earlier. Heath burst through the door, his big shoulders barely fitting through the doorway.
“Easy on the hardware, Aston,” I grumbled.
I didn’t really care if he broke the door, but my mom certainly would and I didn’t want to deal with that kind of fight today. With my latest luck with women, I’d say something that would have her kicking me out. And considering I hadn’t been calling my realtor back about the houses she kept finding for me, I didn’t have many options outside of the local flea-ridden motel.
“You’re a sad sack,” Heath declared, glaring at me like I’d peed in his Cheerios.
I sat up against the headboard and swiped the hair out of my face. I really did need to get a haircut. “Yeah, thanks for that. Like I didn’t already know.”
