Page 42 of Perfectly Imperfect Us
Heath grabbed the wood-back chair pushed under the desk and flipped it around, straddling it while the thing creaked dangerously under his weight.
“That might only be decorative,” I told him.
He ignored my warning, cracking his knuckles and glaring at me. “For a guy who spouts psychology like reading a grocery list, you sure are dumb.”
I huffed. And then accidentally caught a whiff of myself. Heath’s insults were forgotten as I tried to remember when I’d last showered. If I couldn’t remember, it was probably too long.
“I’ve been waiting for you to make your move, but all you’ve done is mope around and gone hermit.” Heath’s top lip lifted like he could smell me from over there.
I folded my arms across my chest, not appreciating him kicking me when I was down. “Maybe I was waiting for my so-called friends to come over here and cheer me up, help me through this trying time and give me ideas on how to handle things. You know, moral support.”
Heath made some noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a hiccup. “I don’t get you at all. So you messed up? Go over there and tell Ava what happened and make her understand.”
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to the giant bouncer over there to think forcing a woman to listen would actually work.
“Tried that. She won’t text me back and I haven’t seen her truck in days. It’s like she’s gone underground to get away from me. Pretty sure she doesn’t want to chat.”
Heath stood up, the rapid movement making my eyes hurt. I needed to get a full night’s sleep and then maybe my brain could function normally. I was mostly living off caffeine and regret at this point. I always thought I’d handle heartbreak a little better than this, but here I was, barely living like a human, completely blindsided by the loss of love. It would be fascinating if it didn’t hurt so much.
“Get up, get in the shower, get dressed, and then we’re getting your hair cut. You look like your boy band kicked you out for bad behavior.” Heath folded his arms across his chest, his eyebrows nearly coming together into one dark line.
This was his way of supporting me, and even though it felt a lot like getting comfort from an army drill sergeant, I appreciated it. Didn’t mean I couldn’t tease him back a little though.
I splayed my hands out over the comforter covering me. “A little privacy, please? I sleep in the nude, you know.”
Heath looked ready to rip my head off, but he turned and left my room, tossing over his shoulder, “I’ll be waiting downstairs. You have twenty minutes.”
* * *
The shower and haircut had helped, but what really moved the dial was when Jase and Max had come over on Sunday, giving me a chance to talk through my feelings without rolling their eyes like Heath. I was a sensitive soul and needed to talk things through. They knew this about me and gave me the space to do it. They also gave me great advice on how to reach Ava. It wasn’t enough to simply text and call, hoping she’d answer. That was for lame high schoolers who had nothing else in their tool bag for winning the heart of a complex woman like Ava.
I had to show her how I felt about her. I had to put myself out there publicly. She’d had her unfiltered face shown to the whole world without her permission. I had to take my mask off publicly too in order to show her I meant business. Anything less would simply mean I wasn’t worthy of a girl like her.
So, that’s what I did. I spent the next three days collecting photographs I’d taken and watching YouTube videos to learn how to set up a professional blog. I’d spent hours combing through tutorials, posting pictures, and adding captions. I was finally ready to hit publish on my online masterpiece.
But first, I needed another cup of coffee. I headed downstairs, all the while knowing I was simply postponing the inevitable. I was terrified. Scared the world would laugh at the dumb model who thought he could take a decent picture. Worried it wouldn’t get enough attention to get Ava to talk to me. Petrified it got all the attention and still wasn’t enough to open Ava’s heart to me.
More than anything, it made me sick to my stomach to know Ava had gotten all the attention I currently feared on a photo that was posted without her permission. It had been a violation of epic proportions. What an idiot I’d been to think a few texts would get her to listen to my weak apology.
“Ryder?” Mom’s voice interrupted my musings as I sipped the cup of coffee.
I turned around and saw her entering the kitchen, her white tennis skirt pristine, which told me she hadn’t hit the club yet this morning.
“Morning,” I said, my brain already going back to the publish button I’d have to push shortly.
“Where’s that Mendez girl been?” Mom asked, her focus completely on me, instead of rushing around like usual.
I mentally rolled my eyes. “Her name’s Ava, and we broke up.”
Mom stepped closer. “I’m sorry, son. Is that why you’ve been moping about? Or is it because Kyly left?”
I snorted, barely holding on to the anger that wanted to curse that woman’s name. “Definitely because of Ava, not…her.” I couldn’t even say her name without wanting to smash my fist through a wall.
“Why don’t you go apologize for whatever you did and get her back, then?” Mom put her hand on my cheek, surprising me. “If she means that much to you, you should try to make things right. You’re the smartest person I know. I’m sure you can fix things.”
My eyes burned and a different kind of ache built in my chest. “Thanks, Mom.”
She patted my cheek with a smile and then turned and left, her perfume staying in the kitchen like a ghost. Did that just happen? Did my mom actually compliment me and encourage me to get back together with Ava? I slammed the rest of the coffee and set the mug in the sink. I’d better publish my blog while things were going my way. Maybe my string of bad luck had officially run out.
