Page 46 of Barefoot Chaos
I jumped back, visibly shaken by his animosity toward me. "Wh-what do you mean?"
When he rolled his eyes, I knew I'd have to do better to get him to talk to me. I was the adult here. "Listen, I can see that you're very angry with me, but I don't even know who you are. I want to understand, so please explain it to me." I leaned forward, hoping he'd sense my sincerity.
He scoffed at me then leaned forward too. "You don't know who I am? That's hilarious. You ruined my life and you don't even know who I am?" He laughed, but the sound was dripping with rage.
Tears filled my eyes. I was no longer shaken by his behavior, just profoundly sad that he'd allowed his fury to rule his life. The kid clearly needed help.
His eyes widened when he saw tears welling up. "No. You do not get to cry. I'm the one who should be sad. You wanna know who I am? I was your student four years ago when you were learning the ropes of the Care Dare program. You let some sick fuck dare me to try out for the basketball team. He taunted me repeatedly, knowing I was too scared to actually go through with it. The whole team picked on me until I couldn't walk the halls at school without someone saying what a pussy I was for not even trying out!" He was out of control, spit flying out of his mouth as he shouted at me. "Your stupid little Care Dare program changed my life, and not for the better like you all tried to make it seem. I went to the school board and they said I had no case and they wouldn't shut the program down. I couldn't let you keep running it and hurting other kids."
He sat back, quite pleased with himself. He'd finally been able to release all the anger and shame he'd felt for four long years. And he'd done what he'd set out to do. The program was shut down and he'd shaken me to my core.
The tears spilled over and raced down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away. I figured I deserved them since I'd let this student down. If he was in my class four years ago, he must have been in my first class as the assistant to the prior English teacher that handled the program. That wasn't an excuse in any way, but it did open my eyes to the danger Kai had tried to warn me of. I wasn't sure how to make this right, but I knew he deserved an apology.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry the dare backfired. I'm sorry you were bullied and I never saw it. I'm sorry for every part I played." I wiped the tears away and became the teacher he should have had four years ago. "But here's the truth. Being mistreated doesn't give you an excuse to hurt other people. You hurt innocent people and mistreated them, just like you were mistreated. Do you see the irony there? You're going to go to jail for it."
He grunted in disgust, looking away from me.
I slapped my hand on the table. His head whipped back. "You have an opportunity to do things right this time. Do your time and then do better. As long as I see you trying to be a better person, I will be around to help you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
He paused, sizing me up.
"I'd take that generous offer, if I were you," Jack put his two cents in. "You won't get a better one."
The young man considered, then gave me a slight nod, accepting my offer. I nodded back, meaning every word I'd said. I'd visit while he served his time and I'd mentor him, help him get the skills he needed to cope with life in a more constructive way when he was out. I could only help as much as he'd let me, but help I would.
Jack and I left the room and went back to Jack's office. I slumped in the chair and Jack patted me on the shoulder. I guess that was the extent of consoling you could expect from a tough-guy cop.
"Go home to Kai, talk it out, and then let it go, Hessa. This was not your fault."
I sighed, feeling a weird mix of relief that the investigation was finally over, but also acutely sad that I'd played a part in this guy's twisted reality.
"Maybe it's a good thing the program's shut down after all." I hefted myself out of the chair, grabbed my bag and headed home to do just what Jack suggested.
Kai
I'd been working hard to keep Hessa from a full scale freak out over her fundraiser or the conclusion of her former student going to jail. We'd talked it through incessantly Friday night, along with all of the Beach Squad that I'd called in for reinforcements, and we'd finally gotten it through her head that it was unfortunate, but she bore no responsibility for his criminal actions. She could help him now if it made her feel better about 'failing' him as a teacher, but he had to shoulder the responsibility for everything else.
With that squared away in her mind, she turned her attention to the fundraiser for Gabe. The event had gotten a lot of press and we were expecting quite a turnout tonight at Pacific City. We'd gone through her playlist, making sure she had a few covers in there that everyone knew and could sing along with. She also planned to debut three songs that she'd written and composed herself. She was most nervous about those, but I'd heard her practice them and they were incredibly beautiful.
Her songs were very slow and sensual, which fit her voice perfectly. She had the kind of voice you could listen to over a glass of wine and candlelight. So pure and velvety.
I told her I'd meet her at the venue so she could get ready in peace and I could make sure all the equipment was set up how she wanted. When I got to the courtyard, I saw over a hundred white chairs set up facing a small curved stage. White twinkle lights were strung overhead which I thought would set the mood perfectly for her songs.
Fiona, the newspaper reporter, was supposed to be there as well to cover the fundraiser. I talked to my lifeguard buddy Dean the other day and he said Brinley had approached the professional DJ that worked the IVP volleyball circuit. She told him all about the fundraiser and Hessa's music. He said he'd stop by with some friends of his that were in the music business.
I didn't tell any of that to Hessa though. Her nerves were strung high enough without knowing reporters and music industry peeps would be there watching her. I'd been having to force-feed her all week. My girl loved food as much as I did, so I knew she was nervous when she turned down the dinner I made her the other night. I even tried to bribe her with ice cream. She only got down a bite for two before turning me down flat.
The thing is, I knew she'd shine. Hessa had this energy about her that everyone could feel. She was intelligent, funny, and so damn kind. She would bend over backwards to help someone in need. And on top of all that, she was an amazing artist. Her lyrics made you sit up and listen, connecting to the emotion that she poured into each verse.
There was no way she could fail tonight. She was that good.
Unless of course, she choked because of nerves.
Whatever it took, I would not allow that to happen. I'd stand up on the stage and make her look in my eyes the whole time she was singing. I'd pep talk her the whole time. I'd have her Squad form a protective circle around while she sang so she couldn't see the audience. Whatever. It. Took.
18
Hessa
