Page 32 of Razor's Edge
He scans the room, making sure everyone understands his meaning. He must like what he sees because he waves for us to continue. Over the next two hours, we talk about the Cartel, Isaias, and the strip club. Between what I’ve been able to find, what Edge was able to produce, and what Moose knows, these assholes won’t be able to take a piss without us being up their asses. They wanted a war, well now they will fucking get one. By the time we are done, Edge can barely hold her eyes open.
“Come on, Edge. Let’s get you back to bed! You need to rest,” I say, bending to pick her up.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired,” she mumbles, already half asleep.
“I know. How about we take a little nap because we need to have a long conversation about our future,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.
“Church at eight, and all officers are required to be there,” Prez says as I make my way down the hall.
I drop my guard when Edge doesn’t say anything. She just sighs and relaxes into me. I don’t even make it halfway down the hall when she passes out, snoring quietly. I unlock and quietly push into my room, walking over to the bed. I lay Edge on the bed, covering her. I kiss her head before leaving to find Blue and Starla. I need to spend some time with my girl now that she is home and feeling better. I head out of my office, heading toward Starla’s room.
I make it through the door, and Starla sees me before Blue does. She screams in excitement, and the smile this little girl brings to my face is the same one that only one other person causes. Only these two have truly gotten behind the walls I’ve built around my soul. Blue looks over her shoulder at me and smiles widely before standing and bringing Starla to me.
“She only gets that excited for you,” Blue says.
“You don’t have to lie to me. I’ll love her even if I’m not her favorite person,” I state, smiling at Starla and tickling her belly.
Baby laughter fills the room, allowing some of the built-up tension I’ve been carrying since we rushed her to the hospital to melt away. She is home, healthy and happy. Edge is down the hall, and that is all I can ask for now. When this Cartel shit gets shut down, Edge will have my brand and wear my colors. Starla will only ever know me as her father, and if Edge allows it, she’ll be her momma.
“It’s so nice to see you happy finally. It looks good on you, my boy,” Blue says, bringing me back to the here and now.
“Is that what this is? Happy?” I need to know for sure.
“Yes, my boy, that’s exactly what you are feeling. You deserve it more than most here. You have never truly been able to move on from your past and its hold on you. Now though, you have let it fall away. You’re finally living in the present.”
I consider her words; she’s right. I’ve been living with the false sense of having to be there to protect my family. Not taking into account family isn’t the people who share your blood but the people who want what is best for you, that fight at your side and stand at your back to support you. I’ve realized and understood many times over the last six months that I’m the biggest fucking dumbass.
“Yes, my boy, you have been. Now that you see the errors of what you were doing, go forward, do better, and be better—or yourself, the brotherhood, Edge, but most importantly, for that precious angel there.”
“I will do my best every day to make sure I do,” I tell her as Starla fusses in my arms.
Blue hands me the bottle before leaving. Usually, I’d sit in here and feed her, but I need to be close to Edge. We make it into the room, and I sit in my desk chair, popping the bottle into Starla’s mouth. I turn to watch my security cameras, lines of code, and searches I have set up for anything that mentions Hell’s Sacrifice. Once she is done eating, I burp her before laying her on the end of the bed while I take my boots off.
Edge doesn’t stir in the slightest at all the movement in the room. That tells me how run-down she is. Edge doesn’t sleep well normally, jumping and waking at every little noise unless I am in bed with her. Once I’m lying with Starla on my chest, Edge turns to me in her sleep, snuggling into my side. I pat Starla and her, but I don’t know for how long. My eyes grow heavy as contentment fills me. I’ve got my woman and my little one by my side, right where they belong.
“SHHHHH. We don’t wanna wake Daddy, do we?” Edge’s quiet voice causes me to come out of the deepest sleep I’ve had in weeks.
Starla babbles, and I lay still, listening to them go back and forth.
“Well, he is more fun awake than asleep, but big bad ogres have to sleep too,” Edge says, and by the tone in her voice, she knows I’m awake.
My eyes fly open when slobbery hands start patting my cheek. “That’s just fucking nasty, Star Bright. Just fucking nasty.”
Edge starts laughing at my reaction, which then causes Starla to start laughing. I watch in awe, my chest filling with warmth and happiness.
17
Edge
The look on Razor’s face when Starla put the hand she’d just had in her mouth on his cheek was one I wish I’d have gotten a picture of. I laugh in a way that I haven’t since the day Razor walked in with Star. My broken ribs hurt like a bitch, but it is so fucking worth it. Playing with Starla for the last twenty minutes is like nothing I’ve ever felt. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and have a family of my own. I thought I could have that with Razor for a microsecond, but it isn’t possible. A chill races through me, stopping my laughter.
I make sure Starla is sitting safely against Razor before slowly making my way off the bed, using every bit of strength I have to hold back the tears.
“Hey, hey, talk to me,” Razor says, sitting up to stop me.
“It’s nothing, Razor. I just need to go to the bathroom,” I say, shaking him off.
“No, this avoidance shit stops now. We are going to hash this out, so you understand what the fuck has been going on here,” Razor growls at me, and I can tell by his tone he's done with my antics.
