Page 38 of Dangerous December
Exactly what Dev knew he’d experience himself someday, alone.
Unless he managed to get back into active service again, and some random sniper or chance roadside bomb in the Middle East got to him first.
Dev found Beth in the Trauma Center waiting room, her arms folded across her midsection. As usual, her hair had escaped its tidy knot, and wild, auburn tendrils curled at the side of her face, giving her a look of vulnerability.
A vulnerability brought into sharper focus by Maura’s earlier words of warning still ringing in his ears.
Holding Beth in his arms for that brief moment in the bookstore had reawakened more than just a landslide of memories.
He’d felt the same electricity, the same sense of completion he’d felt with her all those years ago. And how was he going to deal with that now?
Distance.
Beth’s obvious relief was palpable when he walked into the empty waiting room, and he felt a flash of guilt. “Where’s Janet?”
“I got to be with her in the E.R., but now they’re doing some sort of tests. Her sons and her dad got here a few minutes ago and have gone to the cafeteria for some Coke. If you want to leave...”
“No rush.” He settled into a chair across from her “Is she doing okay?”
“She did break her ankle.” Beth bit her lower lip. “I just feel so bad for her. If I hadn’t been there, she could’ve waited a long time for some customer to come in and see her on the floor. And if she’d been up on the bookshelf ladder...” Beth shuddered.
“But that didn’t happen. She’ll probably be out of here in no time flat, and back to work as usual.”
“Not if her dad has anything to say about it. He wants her and the boys to come stay at his place for a while so he can take care of her, because her husband travels for a week at a time.”
“She’s lucky to have family close by.”
Beth looked down at her folded hands. “I’ve been praying there’s nothing more serious going on. The doctors seem to be concerned about the baby’s heart rate. If she loses her baby...” Her voice broke. “Oh, Dev. I’ll feel soresponsible.The thought of putting anyone else through that...”
She bowed her head lower, and now her slender shoulders were shaking. Was shecrying?
Feeling way out of his element, he started to reach for her, then hesitated. “I don’t know much about all of this. But surely these little critters can handle a few bumps along the way.”
She didn’t answer.
“You ought to see the terrible conditions in the remote areas of the Middle East. No medical care. Poor sanitation. And yet there seem to be babies everywhere.” He scooted his chair a couple of feet closer. “Your friend is receiving the best medical care, so she should be perfectly—”
“I think you’d better stop. This is not an easy topic for me.”
Wisps of flyaway auburn hair hung about her face like a veil, but now he saw the teardrops glistening on her hands, and realization dawned.
They’d married so young, well before any thought of taking on such a grown-up role. As time passed, he’d skirted the topic of having a family whenever it came up.
The image of his demanding, critical father always shouldered its way into his thoughts, filling him with a frightening sense of inadequacy and fear.
What could he possibly know about being a loving father?
Now he remembered the quiet hurt in Beth’s eyes that he’d tried to ignore. The longing way she’d cast glances at the little ones in other women’s arms. Guilt washed through him.
Had he selfishly denied her something she’d wanted more than anything?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, leaning forward to cover her hands with his.
She froze, then pulled her hands away and slowly raised her tear-filled eyes to meet his. “Why?”
He struggled to find the right words, at a loss for what to say. “I guess a lot of women your age start thinking about families. Thinking it’ll be too late.”
“Myage?”Her voice turned to ice. “I’m thirty-two.”
