Page 22 of Pieces of Ash
“Very well. I’ll write out a pass for you. You can leave on Friday evening when you’ve finished your classes for the day. I will drive you to the train or bus station myself.”
“And you’ll contact Mosier?”
“Yes. Let me be very clear, Miss Ellis. I feel strongly that hedeservesto know the truth. Seen in a certain light, he is as much a victim as you are, lied to by his spouse for the entirety of theirunion. I ask you, also, to search your own heart. Relationships between stepparents and stepchildren are often challenging, but perhaps he is not as bad as you fear. Perhaps his offer to marry you was just his misguided way of making sure you were cared for after your mother’s passing. But if he has Christ in his heart, he will understand that a marriage between you is impossible.”
Mosier’s face, furious and determined, appears in my head, and I shiver, reaching for Father Joseph’s hand. “He’s into…bad things, Father. I’m afraid for you.”
“What sorts of bad things?”
I don’t know how to answer—where to begin. When I flounder, he continues speaking, and the moment is lost.
“Come, now, Miss Ellis. I am a priest. God will protect me.” He pats my hand before releasing it. “But I am certain I won’t require protection. Your stepfather is a businessman, right?”
I nod slowly, wondering if Father Joseph can possibly understand the kind of sordid “business” in which Mosier deals.
“Then I’m sure he’s a reasonable man. I have complete faith that once he learns the truth, he will withdraw his offer to marry you. And then you can return to schoolandbe reconciled with him.”
The way Father Joseph says all this, with such quiet conviction, makes me wonder if it’s actually possible. It’s not really that I want a relationship with Mosier and his sons after my graduation from school—in fact, now that a plan to connect with Gus has formed in my mind, I know exactly where I want to go when I finish school—but I would like to part with my stepfamily on good terms. We did have my mother in common, after all.
“I have no money to get to Gus.”
“Sister Agnes can prepare a picnic supper for your travels, and I will give you the money for bus or train fare,” says Father Joseph, “so that you can get to where you need to go.”
I nod. “My godfather lives in Shelburne, Vermont, Father. Do you know where that is?”
“I don’t. But we can look for it on a map and figure out how to get you there.” For the first time since we started speaking, he smiles at me. “Mind you don’t get too comfortable in Vermont, now, Miss Ellis. I expect you’ll be back here with us by next week.”
Seen in a certain light, he is as much a victim as you are… Your stepfather is a businessman… a reasonable man… Perhaps his offer to marry you was just his misguided way of making sure you were cared for after your mother’s passing.
I mull over Father Joseph’s words, testing them out to see if they resonate with me. They don’t feel right, but then I have always been uncomfortable around Mosier because our life changed so drastically when we moved in with him. Perhaps Father Joseph has a point, and I am just too close to the situation to see it clearly.
Have I been unfair to Mosier? He is crass and crude, of course, and the security around his house has always made my mind spin stories of evildoing, but he also paid for my education and was financially responsible for my mother and me while they were married.
Confused by my charitable thoughts, I frown, very certain of one thing. “I think he’ll be very angry.”
“He has a right to anger,” says Father Joseph. “He was deceived by his wife for many years, and the revelations I share with him may be painful for him to process on several levels. But I have faith that once he has all the facts, he will realize that caring for you in the future cannot include marriage. Trust me, my child. Trust in God.”
Trust in God, I think, taking my first deep, clean breath in days and feeling all my bunched and aching muscles finally relax.
I brave a small smile for my savior and protector. “So, I can just go stay with Gus for a while? Just like that?”
“You’ve completed all of the requirements for graduation, Miss Ellis. Besides, you’re eighteen. An adult. You’re free to go where you please. But yes. I will write out a pass for you to take your leave of us for a week or so. The time away will do you good. I’m certain of it.” Father Joseph smiles back at me. “Meanwhile, I’ll sort things out with your stepfather, and you can return to school when you’re ready. How does that sound?”
With a sigh of intense relief, I nod, and my smile widens.
It’s a plan. A real plan. A good plan, with the best man in the world at the helm. I am so hopeful for its success, my shoulders slump, and tears of gratitude begin to fall. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I was so frightened, Father. So scared.”
“There is no need,” says Father Joseph, rising as the bell rings for breakfast. “What we have here, more than anything, is a misunderstanding, my child. I am positive that once we clear it up, all will be well.”
On Friday evening,while my classmates are summoned to supper by a herald of bells, Father Joseph drives me to the Poughkeepsie Amtrak station, and my eyes fill with tears as I wave goodbye to him from my window seat on the train.
As far as my friends and the sisters know, I am spending the weekend off-campus with a family friend, something that happens regularly among Blessed Virgin students. But my heart isn’t light like theirs would be. Since Wednesday morning, I have been deep in thought and prayer, and what I’m doing on this train can be summed up in one word:escape.
I am escaping.
Lying in my bed for the past two nights, staring up at the ceiling, I have replayed Mosier’s words in my head on an endless loop.I married her…for you. I own you,cenusa. I bought you.
The past five years have been a waiting game for Mosier, which makes me wonder if it’s a coincidence that one month after my eighteenth birthday, my mother mysteriously dies. The timing is unsettling, to say the least.
