Page 60 of Pieces of Ash
She sighs. “Yes.”
“That sucks, right? Believing one thing and finding out later that you were wrong.”
“Obviously,” she huffs.
“Well, Ashley’s not telling us everything,tamia. I can promise you that.”
My sister stares at me for a second, her green eyes hard. Finally, she practically hisses, “What the hellhappenedto you, Jules?”
“What do you mean?”
She shakes her head, her expression a mix of sympathy, exasperation, and disgust. “I mean, you changed.What happened?Why did you lose your job?”
“I’ve told you before: I made a protocol mistake that?—”
“What mistake?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Why’d you move up here? Why’d you become such anasshole? You don’t trust anyone anymore. You won’t even give someone a chance! When she’s perfectly fucking nice!”
“Noelle, calm down.”
“No!” she cries. “Tell me what happened!”
“I can’t,” I say, and technically, at least, this is true. I’m not supposed to talk about what happened in Cartagena. It’s embarrassing for the Secret Service that one of their own screwed up so completely.
“That’s bullshit. I’m your sister. You could tell me, and you know I’d take it to the grave.”
“Let it go, Noelle,” I say, a sharp edge in my voice warning her that I’m not kidding around. “This conversation is closed.”
My sister returns to her original tack, mellowing her voice. “She’s pretty. And nice. And the way you two look at each other? Like you want to eat each other sideways with a spoon? God, Jules?—”
“We donot?—”
“Parkerneverlooked at me like that,” she continues. “I don’t understand why you won’t, I don’t know, let yourself like her, Jules.”
I place my palms on the table and push away. Standing up, I’m looking down at her instead of the other way around.
“I just can’t.”
“Then you’re stupid.”
“And you’re a brat.”
She hops down from the table, looking up at me with narrowed eyes. “You know what? You don’t have a right to call out anyone else on keeping secrets. You’re hiding out here. Yourwhole lifeis one big secret.”
Then she huffs softly and heads into the house, leaving me alone.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to yell “Fuck you!” at my sister’s back, but while I’ve used that sort of coarse languagearoundher, I’ve never said ittoher. Hell, my father would have smacked my mouth off my face if I ever had.
But damn it, I’m frustrated by our conversation.
She’s right. I’m attracted to Ashley like I’ve never been attracted to anyone in my entire life. She’s been here for a week, and it’s turned my whole life upside down. I’m aware of her in a way I’ve never experienced before. I want to know more about her. I want to know everything about her, in fact. And until I do, there can be nothing more between us than sharing this house and occasionally offering one another pleasantries when we happen to cross paths.
That I want our paths to cross as often as possible is my problem, not hers.
But I will fight whatever force draws me to her until she’s gone.
