Page 13 of I'm So Mega
Mama Goldie laughed. “Okay he’s more levelheaded. Did y’all just not see him be on the same action y’all husbands were?” She shook her head with more laughter. “Yeah, he’s more levelheaded for sure.”
I knew she was right, but I also knew that Samuel was the most neutral party in the room right now.. “I can chauffeur, Ruth. That’s fine.” Samuel spoke up.
“Samuel, if you need someone to help, I can ride along,” Shanti offered. “I don’t mind.” The one time she decided to say something, that was what she thought would be best to say.
I raised my hand quickly before Mama Goldie could say anything. “Shanti, that will not be necessary. Samuel’s wife will ride along if anyone does. Thank you for your overzealousness to finally contribute to the conversation.”
For the remainder of the time, Ned, Ryne Sr., and Mega sat there with mean mugs temporarily tattooed on their faces while I laid down the law of what was appropriate during this dancedate between teens. Our girls were good girls, but like I was, they were sheltered. They had not had experience with peer pressure when it came to boys. It felt like yesterday when Maggie learned how to tie her shoe. Now she was going to her first dance with a boy.
A Couple Days Later. . .
I stood in a covert spot near the threshold of our den, where my kids and god niece were. I snickered as I listened to my daughter and god niece have a full conversation in front of Matthew and Joseph in their secondary language. They knew that anything that they said in front of them would be told to Mega and Ned, then held against them.
“Are-way you-way oing-gay o-tay iss-kay im-hay at-way e-thay ance-day (Are you going to kiss him at the dance)?” Kellie asked Maggie. “I-way ill-way if-way you-way ill-way oo-tay (I will if you will too).”
All I could do was shake my head at their little conversation. Maggie knew how to speak fluent pig latin by the time she was seven, and she swiftly taught her best friend as she learned. Our sons never took an interest in learning it.
Our girls weren’t as innocent as we wanted them to be. Ned would pass out while Mega doused them in holy water. I wanted to know how my daughter would respond to Kellie.
“O-nay, I-way on’t-day ant-way o-tay iss-kay im-hay. I-way on’t-day ink-thay you-way ould-shay iss-kay Ayton-pay either-way(No, I don’t want to kiss him. I don’t think you should kissPayton either),” Maggie said sternly. “Id-day e-hay ask-way you-way o-tay iss-kay im-hay(Did he ask you to kiss him)?”
From where I stood, I couldn’t see the girls, but I could see my boys. They were playing a game together on their game system, on the television in the den. It was comical when the game system that was taken out of their bedroom ended up in the den. Mega called it a compromise. The boys had finished all their retesting, and it was proven that they didn’t swap places to cheat. The boys still weren’t ready to tell the truth of why they swapped places. I tuned back into the girls’ conversation when Kellie finally responded.
“I-way ean-may, e-hay asn’t-hay asked-way. E-hay id-day ay-say it-way ould-way e-bay ice-nay if-way I-way id-day iss-kay im-hay(I mean, he hasn’t asked. He did say it would be nice if I did kiss him).” The timidness in Kellie’s voice was obvious.
Maggie giggled, and I knew that giggle all too well. It was her I call bull-crap giggle. “O-say, e-hay assively-pay uggested-say it-way instead-way of-way asking-way you-way. Oys-bay are-way upid-stay! You-way ow-knay e-thay only-way eason-ray I-way ant-way o-tay o-gay o-tay e-thay ance-day ith-way Yne-ray is-way o-tay ow-shay Isa-lay at-thay I-way ould-cay. E-shay an-cay iss-kay im-hay or-fay all-way I-way are-cay(So, he passively suggested it instead of asking you. Boys are stupid. You know the only reason I want to go to the dance with Ryne is to show Lisa that I could. She can kiss him for all I care).”
I had to smack my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh, but the yelp that occurred when Mega’s strong arms wrapped around me could not be stifled. His lips kissed my neck. “What you doing out here?”
“Nothing! You scared me!” I turned in his arms to face him. Time had covered my man with extra layers of sexiness.
“Why are you so loud?” he asked with a raised brow. He kissed my lips. “What those kids in there doing?”
I wasn’t sure why he asked if he was not going to wait for me to respond. He unwrapped himself from me, then walked into the den. “What y’all in here doing?”
The boys turned around with smiles. “Hey, Daddy,” they greeted in unison.I love when they do that.
“We playing the game. They back there talking in that funny language y’all talk in sometimes.” See! To our sons, it wasn’t snitching if they were telling their daddy or uncles. That didn’t count.
Maggie sucked her teeth. “Y’all need to mind y’all eight-year-old business.” That was her favorite thing to tell them to do. She always made sure to add in their age in the demand to assert her twelve-year-old dominance.
Mega’s face tightened. He knew that if they had a conversation in pig latin that they were hiding something. I didn’t feel like the back-and-forth, so I diverted the conversation. “Hey, ladies, guess what? Y’all are going with me to Southern Hearts and Signed Kisses in Columbia.”
They both gasped. The organizers Kimberly Brown and Iesha Bree invited me to be a featured booktoker influencer. When I got the invitation, I almost lost my mind. It was my first invite as an influencer. I had fallen off the whole thing for years and was just getting back to it. I still posted during the time I’d fallen off, but it was a few and far in between. I posted more life things, which helped me cope. The amount of support was overwhelming, and I loved that they accepted my return without skipping a beat.
“Really, Mama! OMG! Can we buy some books?”
Mega’s hands fell to this side. “That is a no! You will not be reading any of that stuff.” He side-eyed me. “Isn’t that event the same day as the dance? You gonna have enough time to do all of that? Don’t they have to get their hair done?”
I rolled my eyes. “First, Mega, they have authors that write books for their age bracket. Second, they are getting their hair done. Author Kami offered to do it.”
His head tilted to the side. “So authors out here doing hair and selling books? Ruth, don’t let that lady make my babies’ hair fall out.”
“It’s not, Mega. We’ll be back in town by five. That’s enough time for them to get ready. The next morning, we are going back for the brunch,” I told him.
With a smile, he responded. “Sounds like a jam-packed weekend. That’s what’s up. I’m about to go handle some business. Boys, y’all want to roll wit’ me?”
They jumped up fast and told him that they did. My antennas were up because he never handled business with them. Something was afoot, but I wasn’t sure what just yet.
