Page 38 of The Art of Loving Lacy
“I guess. Yeah, you’re right.”
“Lacy, tell me what you’re thinking. This morning you wanted nothing to do with him, and now you’re down in Chatham. I know you had to go in order to save your promotion, but what does your heart tell you? What about the other women you were worried about?” Danica asked.
Lacy sat on the bottom step and buried her feet in the sand. She’d been thinking about that very same question all afternoon, and no matter how many times she put Dane’s face with another woman, it never stuck. It didn’t feel real. Sure, she felt a tiny pang of jealousy, and she’d love to know if he was with other women up until the day of the wedding, but in her heart she knew that even if he were, he’d made it clear that she was all he wanted now. She’d used the other women as an excuse, an easy way to end their relationship.
“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about what you said. Everyone has a past,” Lacy said. “Am I being stupid? You can tell me if I am. I can take it. And I’m not saying that I want to jump into bed with him, either. I just feel like maybe…” Lacy didn’t know what followedmaybe, but she felt something there, and it felt a lot like hope.
“What about your fear of sharks?” Danica asked.
Shootshootshoot.“Ugh. You’re right. There are too many obstacles. Signs. Whatever.” Lacy climbed the stairs back up to the deck and watched a man walking toward the water. She settled into a chair and kicked her feet up on the railing.
“That’s not what I’m saying. The therapist in me thinks you need to keep all of your worries in the forefront of your mind so you aren’t driven by your emotions and you can make a rational decision. The sister in me wants to jump up and down, hug you, and celebrate the intense romantic nature of the whole thing. I’m riding a fine line here, Lacy,” Danica said.
Her admission made Lacy smile. “That’s exactly what I’m feeling.”
“Listen. One thing you should think about is that phobias are usually irrational fears,” Danica said. “Your case is different, of course, after what happened when you were little, but you can still manage that fear. When you feel that prickling of anxiety, you can remind yourself that you’re fine and that you’re in control, assuming you’re in a safe place, of course, like on a boat. You have the power to control that anxiety. It might not feel like it right now, but you really do.”
“The thing is, I know all of that. I get it. But when that panic attack hit, there was no talking myself out of it,” Lacy said.
“I know, but you can still try. I also think you should take stock of your emotions. If you think about it, all those months of buildup leveled itself last weekend, and that, too, probably heightened your anxiety. Even if you don’t think it did, I’d put my money on it. And to some extent, the only way to overcome your fears is to face them.”
“Face my fears. Do you mean with sharks or with Dane?” Lacy asked.
“That’s for you to decide. My gut says both,” Danica answered.
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know,” Lacy said.
The man who had been walking sat in the sand, looking out at the water. She went to the edge of the railing and looked more closely. Her pulse sped up. She sat back in the chair and whispered into the phone. “He’s here.”
“Who?” Danica whispered back.
“Dane. He’s here, on the beach. He’s sitting in front of the house.” Lacy peeked at him through the slats in the railing.
“Are you sure?” Danica asked.
“Totally sure. Creepy or romantic?” Lacy asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe he saw you on the phone and decided to wait until you were off. Where’d he come from?”
“I don’t know.” Lacy put her hand around her mouth to keep the sound from carrying. “Is he a stalker?”Yeah right. It’s my heart that I don’t trust.
“You’re so weird. No, Dane Braden is not a stalker.” Danica laughed. “Go out and say hello.”
“Okay, thanks, Danica. I’ll call you later.” Lacy held the phone by her side and walked tentatively down each step to the sand below, then approached him. Dane leaned back, supported by his palms, his feet outstretched before him, crossed at the ankles. Her hands sweat despite the cool breeze coming off the water.
“Hi, Lacy,” he said.
“Hi.” Goose bumps raced up her arms.
Dane cocked his chin to the side, and the sweet look in his eyes softened her nerves. “Want to sit down for a sec?” Dane asked.
Yes!Lacy contemplated Danica’s advice.Keep all of your worries in the forefront of your mind.She still felt pressured to be there, but as she looked back at the cottage and then at Dane, she couldn’t maintain her anger.
Dane stood. He was wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and a thick cardigan sweater. He reached for her, then pulled his hands back. “Lace,” he said. His eyes caressed her; his voice soothed her. “I’m sorry that I’ve upset you. I just couldn’t let us go that easily.”
Us.
“I’m not here tonight to pressure you any further. I tried to call you several times, and when you didn’t return my calls, I thought I’d just come over and make sure you got in okay.”
