Page 27 of Malliko
“Is Jeremy home?”
“No. He's in Dallas on a business trip. We're expecting him back next Monday.”
“Tell him that I want to see my boys.”
There was silence on the other end, so I asked just to be sure, “Shanice, did you hear me?”
“I did. But you know it's not up to me. The court said...”
I quickly cut her off. “I don't care what the court said. I sacrificed everything for my boys and Jeremy took them away from me. He knew I couldn't afford to live in Beverly Hills. And with him traveling so much, he's not even with the boys. Don't you see how wrong that is?”
“Well, maybe if you hadn't treated him so poorly when you were together...”
I snorted. “Is that what he told you? That I didn't treat him, right?”
Shanice gave a deep sigh. “Look, maybe you two just weren't meant for each other. Jeremy is a great father, and he makes sure the boys lack for nothing.”
The overwhelming wave of emotions made my throat swell and my words sounded distorted when I spoke: “I'mnotnothing.”
“Sorry, that's not what I meant.”
“You said my sons lack for nothing, but they don't have their mom and with all Jeremy's work trips it seems they don't really have their father either.”
Shanice’s voice turned curt. “I'm sorry if you're having a bad day, but I was just making the boy some snacks, so was there anything else you needed?”
“No. Just remind them to call me.”
“You just heard me shout at them that you wanted to talk to them. The twins are fifteen years old. I can't really force them to do anything if they don't want to.”
“Are you saying my boys don't want to talk to me?” My eyes were prickling with tears pressing.
There was silence before the words came from Shanice. “All I'm saying is that if they wanted to talk to you, they would probably call you back, don't you think?”
The pain in my chest made it impossible to answer. Ending the call, I began sobbing like my body needed to produce enough water to kill the fire in my stomach. There were so many emotions, and anger seemed to be the least dominant one at the moment. My shoulders bobbed as I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. I was missing out on precious time with my boys, and I had a strong suspicion that they were fed untrue stories about me that made them resent me. Shanice might be mean for speaking out the obvious, but she was right. If my sons wanted to talk to me, they had expensive cell phones and could call me up at any time. But they didn't. They were too busy living a life of material wealth in their father's mansion and making new friends. I wondered if they were embarrassed to have me as their mother. I didn't really fit into the Beverly Hills imageof success. I wasn't rich, fashionable, or special. And I couldn't offer them any of the luxuries that their father could.
Last Christmas Jeremy had taken the kids on a trip to Aspen and sent pictures of him, Shanice, and my sons in front of a Christmas tree. They had looked like the perfect American family with her blonde hair styled to perfection and his dark tint complimenting her like honey spread over toast.
Jeremy’s African American heritage had given our boys the cutest curls. And the only thing that would reveal that Shanice wasn't their mother was the fact that she was only nine years older than the twins.
The jealousy was eating at me, but I’d been here before and with a deep breath I sniffled and calmed myself down. I wasn't the only mother who had been robbed of my children, but at least in my case, my boys were alive and well. They were well fed, had friends and each other. Jeremy might not be the man I had hoped he would be when I married him, but he didn't hurt the boys physically.
Someone was making the boys snacks and as far as I could tell they didn't miss me much.
Reaching for my glass of white wine, I brought it to my lips and downed the entire contents. I needed something to make things just a little better. Anything.
If only I had my friends or family around me, but they were all back home in New Mexico. The only reason I had moved out here to LA was to be closer to my boys. Naïvely, I had thought that if I was within an hour’s driving distance, they would want to spend time with me.
My gaze went to the door to the bedroom where I had installed bunk beds for them. That extra room cost me twenty percent of my rental each month, but it was always empty. It had been six years since the divorce.
Sitting with a glass in my hand and my body slumping forward, I looked to the floor as if it was a movie screen showing memories of that night when my life fell apart. In my mind I revisited the past.
Jeremy’s career was finally doing well, and we were invited to eat dinner with four of the partners in the law firm where he worked. We were going to an expensive restaurant downtown and I had bought a beautiful dress from H&M to wear. It hadn't been expensive, but Jeremy and I were high school sweethearts and had always been forced to think about money.
That night he had looked so handsome in his suit, and I had felt lucky that he was my husband. All those years of hard work that I had suffered through were finally paying off. I made myself beautiful and smiled at my reflection in the mirror, thinking that tonight was a turning point. Jeremy was sure they were going to offer him a promotion and that he would be allowed to work with larger clients. If everything went well it meant that I could finally go to school and get the degree that I wanted.
That had been the plan all along. As young parents with an unplanned pregnancy during our senior year in high school, we hadn't been able to afford going to college at the same time. For so many years, I had put my dreams on hold and supported Jeremy in his pursuit of becoming a lawyer.
Now, it was finally my turn. I had wanted to quit my job as a flagger years ago, but Jeremy had insisted that we pay off some of his student loans before taking on another loan for me to study. Coming out of the bathroom, I did a little spin to show him how pretty I looked. It was rare that I wore makeup and curled my long black hair, but tonight I felt beautiful.
