Page 43 of Malliko
“I don’t understand the issue. If he’s young, virile, and attracted to you, then why isn’t that a good thing?”
“It is… I’m just…” It was hard to put into words how conflicted I felt. “I mean, I’m insanely flattered that he wants to be with me. At the same time, I’m also scared.”
“Of what?”
“What if someone finds out and judges me for it? Or what if it’s just a silly milf fantasy in his head and then when he sees me naked, he loses interest?”
Malliko made a funny sound close to a scoff. “What are you talking about? Of course, he’ll be attracted to you. You have beautiful curves and I saw your pictures. They don’t do you justice.”
“I don’t know,” I said and felt my uncertainty gnaw at me like an unwelcome parasite. “You’ve only seen me dressed, but…” I closed my eyes. “Malliko, can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“The truth is that I look far better with clothes on. My breasts are perkier in a bra and sometimes I cheat and use shapewear. Naked, I’m… ehm… much softer.”
“Soft is good. Who told you otherwise?”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on. You don’t mean that. I’ve seen a picture of your fiancée and there was nothing soft about her. I know you’re just saying it to make me feel better. Everybody knows that I’m not exactly meeting the beauty standards of the fashion industry.”
Malliko sounded pragmatic and matter of fact when he declared, “I don’t follow fashion but if you want my opinion then you are perfect as you are.”
Giving a loud release of the tensed-up breath in my chest, I sighed, “Maybe in Lichtenstein. But here, men prefer women like your fiancée, and I don’t blame them. She’s stunning.”
Malliko was quiet a little, but then he asked, “This isn’t about her. It’s about you. There’s a suitor whom you find attractive and yet you’re self-sabotaging. What are you most afraid of?”
Looking down to my lap, I felt the emotional pinch from his question and answered from a vulnerable place of honesty. “That I won’t be enough for him… or anyone really.” The words hung in the air between us like a neon sign exposing my trauma of being replaced with a younger and fitter model.
“Clara. Give me your address.”
A triangle formed between my eyebrows as I drew them close. “Why?”
“Because I’m coming over to see you. We’re going to work on your body issues.”
“What? No. How?”
“Just trust me. What’s your address?”
“I… I…” My eyes darted around my small and unimpressive place. "My neighborhood is sketchy. You don’t want to come here, Malliko.”
“I’ll be fine. Tell me your address.”
In my mind, excitement and resistance were battling for the right to speak. In the end, excitement won, and I gave him my address.
“I’ll see you soon, Clara.”
“Wait, what are you going to do when you get here? I want to mentally prepare.”
“No. You’ll overthink the whole thing. All I can tell you is that by the time I leave, you’ll know how beautiful you are.”
When we hung up, I sat momentarily stunned. Was he hoping for us to have sex? Noo… the thought seemed a bitabsurd, although he did tell me on the first day when we met that his fiancée didn’t mind him sleeping with others.
Do I want to sleep with Malliko if given the opportunity?
The answer was obvious from the way I got up from my chair and hurried to my bedroom, pulling out the sexiest set of lingerie that I had.
CHAPTER 14
Forbidden Fruit
