Page 74 of The Outcast
“Does Mom know about the list?”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Why do I have to marry this soon? You were well into your thirties.”
“Because I was rebelling against my father’s pressure. That’s different.”
“How? You’re putting just as much pressure on me. Did it ever occur to you that seeing you troubled and frustrated eighty percent of the time doesn’t make me want your job? You’re just like him. Never satisfied. Never proud of your son.”
“Calm the fuck down, Thor. Your father is looking out for you. We both are.” I would have recognized Magni’s voice anywhere.
“If that’s the case, Uncle Magni, then why are you just sitting there letting him do to me what your father did to you? Huh? If you were really looking out for me, wouldn’t you tell your brother to shut his mouth and let me live my life?”
Magni’s deep voice rolled from the room toward me like soft thunder. “Fine, then you tell us what it is that you want, Thor.”
“I want to be my own person. To think and express myself without feeling pressured all the fucking time.”
“Thor.” The way Khan said his son’s name sounded like a protest, but he never got a chance to speak before Thor cut him off.
“And also, I’m gay.”
My brow rose and complete silence followed until Thor continued:
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I just blow up the mold you’re trying to shape me in? When I’m in your seat, Dad, I’ll hold extravagant gay orgies in the Gray Mansion. How about that?”
I heard a door slam and guessed that Thor had left the room. Running inside, I saw him come storming. He saw me but didn’t stop to talk so I jogged after him and caught up with him downstairs in the gym where he walked straight over to punch a boxing bag.
“What the hell was that?” I asked. “You’re not gay.”
He hit the machine again. “Didn’t they ever teach you not to eavesdrop back in Old Europe?”
“They might have but I was never a good student.”
Smack, smack, Thor hit the bag hard and precisely with his head lowered and his nostrils flaring.
“Why did you tell your father and uncle that you’re gay?”
“Because it will mess with their heads.”
“Why? Does it matter?”
Thor’s dark eyes watched me. “Have you learned nothing? The Northlands are fucking stuck in a mentality where men are men and women are women, whatever that means.”
“But you have gays in this country. A few men came on to me the last time I was here.”
“Sure, we’ve always had gays, but the openness about it didn’t take root until the Motlanders moved here. Argh, I just hate how people have this image of what a ruler should be like.”
“And what image is that?”
“Strong, stoic, male, and of course married with children.”
“You’ve got the strong, stoic, and male part down. Isn’t that enough?”
Thor pushed at the sandbag and walked over to sit on the edge of the boxing ring. “It’s not like I’ll be the new ruler tomorrow. My dad is sixty-five and still nowhere close to retiring.”
“Hmm.” I sat down next to Thor. “How old are you?”
“I’ll be twenty-five in a few days.”
