Page 108 of The Mentor
“How about we decorate their cabin and make it real pretty? I’m happy to volunteer,” Nicki sweetly offered.
Weaving my fingers together, I lifted my hands to my lips.
“I didn’t know you prayed,” Marco said and angled his head. “You don’t have to be so nervous. There’s no way Archer won’t be the winner – just look at the others.
I couldn’t! All I could do was look at my wristband, right in front of my eyes. What if I called him and told him not to go through with it? But I already knew he wouldn’t answer on national broadcasting.
In a pure fit of desperation, I wrote five words in a text:
Don’t marry her. Marry me!
My eyes lifted and I stared at Archer, who should feel a small buzz on his wrist any second now.
With my heart in my throat, I watched him lift his hand and read my text.
Nothing!
There was no joy on his face. No sadness or regret either. Just a tiny frown before Archer tucked his hands behind his back as if determined to ignore me and put what had been between us behind him.
The tears that I had managed to hold back until now prickled behind my eyelids when Archer widened his shoulders and looked straight at Lori Ann.
“I think the time has come for the question we have all been waiting for,” Khan said in his formal voice. “Lori Ann, who do you choose to be your champion?”
It was like I saw it in slow motion: the way she raised her hand and pointed at Archer.
There was no force in this world strong enough to make me want to stay and watch them marry.
With everyone else in the room completely transfixed by the screen, I ran out of the schoolroom. Stumbling to my cabin, I threw myself on the bed and sobbed into my pillow to dampen the sound.
I couldn’t remember ever crying like this. I rolled into a ball of misery, blaming Archer for not being honest with me. It felt like hours that I lay there feeling betrayed and cheated, but eventually the anger morphed back into deep grief. My body ached with tension and emotional overload; and unable to stay in the same position, I shifted to sit on the bed, rocking back and forth with my legs pulled up in front of me and my arms tightly wrapped around my knees.
Tears were still falling, but less noisy as memories of Archer and me together filled my mind. The time he showed me the fireflies, our first kiss, his running to save me from the bear and staying with me until I felt safe again. The confusing arousal from when he spanked me and my prank to get back at him before we made love the first time. I wiped away tears and remembered his plea for me to marry him.
If only I had known then how much I loved him and how close I was to losing him.
I felt numb with grief that Archer was marrying another woman at this very moment.
He and I wouldn’t be laughing together anymore, nor would we be sneaking away for a secret rendezvous. Our bond was forever broken before I got a chance to tell him that I loved him.
With the heel of my hand I dried away more tears, but they just kept coming. The children would expect me to help with the banner, but the resistance inside of me to being part of their welcome committee was taller than a twenty-first-century skyscraper.
A vile thought took me hostage, and images of Archer consummating his marriage with Lori Ann right now made me get up and run outside to the back of the cabin, where I threw up. Supporting myself with one hand on the wall, and one to my stomach, I emptied everything I had inside of me. If only I could rid myself of my love for Archer that easily too.
My body felt like I had come down with the flu and I dragged my feet back to my cabin, knowing one thing for sure: I would never be happy again.
Covering myself with my blankets, I wished the world would just forget about me. I didn’t want to fake another smile and I certainly didn’t want anyone’s pity. But most of all, I didn’t want to ever see Archer again.
No one can force me to.
My skyscraper of resistance made my brain race to come up with an excuse and get out of here.
A few hours ago I would’ve sworn I was committed to this experiment, but only a masochist would stay with a broken heart like mine.
It’s not like I’m letting anyone down. Raven has a mother and father now, Shelly is an excellent teacher, and Archer will be back tomorrow with his new wife.
Pearl will find another teacher from the Motherlands and soon the kids won’t even remember me.
My teary eyes fell to the picture of my mother on the desk. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, and she wouldn’t understand that a man had broken my heart. It sounded pathetic even to myself.
