Page 109 of The Mentor
Christina would understand, but she would also try to make me stay.
I have to get out of here.
Getting up from the bed, I paced the room, shook my hands, and blinked my tears away. I needed a lift to the border, but Finn would see right through me if I asked him. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t tell Archer how heartbroken I was, and I was too proud for that.
My biggest regret was that I had sent that text asking Archer to marry me. I should have known that a million dollars and a beautiful tall ballerina were too much to compete against.
I felt shitty when I called up Christina and lied to her. “Pearl just told me that she received a message that my mother is in the hospital.”
“Oh no, what happened?” she said with all the sympathy of a best friend.
“It’s her heart,” I sniffled and started to cry again because lying like this violated all my values as a human being.
“Oh honey, how can I help?”
“Can you take me to the border?”
“I would, but Boulder isn’t home yet. He has the drone. Didn’t Pearl offer you a ride?”
“Ehm, yes, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to you. How about tomorrow morning then?” I asked. “I want to leave before the children get up.”
“Don’t you think it would be better if you said goodbye to them as well?” Christina suggested. “What if you have to be gone for days or maybe weeks? You know how much they care about you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want them to see me cry.”
“They’ll understand that you’re scared and sad about your mom being sick.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll say goodbye to them, then.”
“Maybe you should have Finn drop you off at my house so I can give you a big hug and we can talk.”
I had no doubt that if I went to Christina’s house now, I would tell her everything. But the sympathy of my friend would come with a price. I knew her well enough to know she would do whatever she could to convince me that she, her new baby, Raven, and all the children were reason enough for me to stay. She would tell me not to let a man force me to run away, but I didn’t have the strength to stay and fight.
“No, I need to pack anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.”
“I’ll be there,” she assured me.
Crawling back into my bed again, I fiddled with the edge of the blanket. My eyes glazed over at the thought of giving out hugs tomorrow morning, and lying about coming back when I knew that I would never be able to return. The thought that I might never see Christina’s baby tore my heart out.
Memories of Christina lying in a bed in the Motherlands, depressed and sad, longing for Boulder, made me cry again. Was that my sad future?
Maybe it would be wiser if I went straight to a place of reflection and isolated myself from everything and everyone. Maybe that’s what I needed to regain some sort of perspective and sanity.
Tears were dripping on my pillow and I wondered how I had ended up like this. When I had first arrived in the Northlands, I had been a strong woman who had no ambition of ever bonding myself to a man. If that strong Kya could’ve seen this broken Kya, she would’ve been disturbed.
CHAPTER 29
The Dream
Kya
After I’d been tossing, turning, and crying for hours, Finn came to check up on me. I couldn’t face him, and kept my back to him asking him to leave me alone. I wanted to explain to him that I was only crying because my mother was sick, but Finn knew my secret, so there was no point in lying to him.
He placed a cup of tea next to my bed and closed the door quietly behind him. Fortunately, the warm liquid helped calm me down; and when sleep finally claimed me it took me to a different dimension where Archer was still in my bed.
“Your hair smells so good,” Archer’s voice crooned behind me.
“Why did you leave me?” I asked him and stretched like a lazy cat. “I had just gotten ready to tell you that I loved you.”
