Page 31 of Sassy Surrogate
I’m being given the opportunity to have this through Danica’s generosity of spirit and, like a spineless wimp, I’ve just run out on her because I’m emotionally stunted. I can only imagine what she must be feeling due to my actions.
“Son, you still there?”
“Yeah, sorry, Dad. Got a bit distracted there for a second.” Scrubbing a hand down my face, I continue. “I’ve gotta go, Dad, but I enjoyed chatting with you.”
“No problem. It was great to hear from you, my boy.”
“I love you, Dad.” The words tumble out without thought.
My father doesn’t say a word for a minute. Then I hear him clear his throat. “It’s been a while since you said that. You sure everything’s okay, Heath?”
“Yeah, it really is, Dad. We’ll chat soon. Take care.” Suddenly, I can’t wait to get back to Danica.
I’m about halfway back to the clinic when my cell phone rings. I’m not even sure how much time has gone past since I abandoned Danica in that examination room.
“Kieran?”
“Where the hell are you?”
“Excuse me?” The tone of his words has my hackles rising.
“Dude, don’t play the pissy princess with me. I’ve just driven Danica home at her request. The woman is absolutely distraught and refused to wait for you. Whatever the fuck you did, you best get home and fix it because it sounds like she’s about to bail.”
My gut tightens uncomfortably at his words. “What do you mean, it sounds like she’s about to bail?”
“I mean, it sounds like she intends packing her shit and getting the hell outta Dodge.”
No, no, no. This can’t be happening. Danica leaving now couldn’t come at a worse time. Apart from the fact that she’s pregnant with my baby, I’ve finally made the decision to go back to therapy to work through my issues.
During my walk, I came to the realisation that I want it all. I want her, the two-point-four children, the white picket fence. All of it. If she walks away, I’ll never get to have that with her. It will always only be half of the dream. Half of me. Because the minute she walks out the door, she’ll be taking my heart and soul with her, leaving nothing but an empty shell behind.
“Heath, you there, man?”
“Sorry, yeah. I’m still here. Give me a sec, I just need to figure out where I am.”
Searching for landmark, street names, anything that will give me a clue where I’ve wandered to, I spot a baby store diagonally across the street from where I’m standing. I can’t help but laugh at the irony of the moment. Finally, I spot a small sign with the name of the street I’m on, and I share the information with Kieran.
“Hang tight. I’m on my way.”
By the time Kieran arrives, I’m about coming out of my skin. I’ve been trying to reach Danica’s phone, and it just rings to voicemail each time. Getting into the back of the car, all I can do is pray she’s still at home by the time we get back.
Home. For the first time since I bought the house, it actually feels like home. And it’s all her. Having Danica in the space makes it a home, and the thought of her no longer being there is unbearable.
It’s clear Kieran has developed a soft spot for my girl. His body language communicates quite clearly just how mad at me he is. The silent drive back home is an awkward one with none of our usual banter or deep discussions. And for the first time, I find myself caring.
“I know you’re pissed at me. What transpired back at the clinic is between Danica and me. Just know that I have every intention of fixing it.”
“How?” His gaze snags mine briefly in the mirror before he returns it to the road. “I have no idea what happened back there, but knowing you for as long as I have, I’m going to guess something threw you an emotional curveball, and you did what you always do. You ran.”
“Kieran–” I start to warn him, but he cuts me off.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Heath.”
“What I can tell you is, you’re overstepping the mark,” I snap, irritation rising.
Unexpectedly, he pulls the vehicle to the side of the road, turns the engine off, and shifts around to face me over the back of his seat.
“I’m overstepping the mark?” His face is red, his words clipped. “We’ve been friends for years. In fact, if it weren’t for me, you’d be dead today. So fuck you and fuck overstepping the mark. Each and every damn time someone gets close, or tries, you do your damnedest to push them away. The only reason you haven’t pushed me away is because I won’t let you.”
