Page 10 of Meet Me Halfway
Getting to my feet, I go over to where Cal’s standing, ramrod stiff, his posture screaming “back off.” I come to a halt in front of him but don’t touch him. I sink to my knees before him.
“No, my sweet love, I would not leave you. I said it earlier, but it bears saying again, I love you. Soul deep.”
“But you love Fay, too.” It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “So where does that leave you and me, Vivienne?”
“Right where we’ve always been – two people, in love and committed to each other. That will never change. Just as my heart has enough room for you and any children we might eventually have, so it does for both you and Fay. I love you equally, but differently, if that makes sense?”
Without acknowledging my words, he says, “This bomb you’ve dropped has me twisted up inside. I have to get out of the house, go clear my head.”
“Cal–”
“For the love of God, Vivienne, give me a chance to figure this shit out in my head. You can’t just drop something like this on me and expect me to be jumping around for joy. Give me the space to work it through. We’ll talk when I get home, okay?”
He’s right. I know he’s right. But I’m terrified that if he walks out that door he’s not coming back, regardless of what he says. Yet I don’t really have a choice. If I say no, the result could very well be the same.
“Okay,” I finally whisper through the tears that are making my throat burn and my nose clog up. “Just please be safe on the roads.”
Cal nods and heads for the front door. He grabs his keys and wallet from the small table in the foyer before opening the door. Before he can walk through, I call out.
“Drive carefully. I love you.”
He pauses for a moment, but then walks out, closing the door quietly behind him without a reply.
Going to my side from where I’m kneeling, I curl myself into a tight ball and finally give in to the tears that I’ve been fighting back.
Cal
Ineed to get out, get away. My mind is reeling from Vivi’s revelation, my thoughts in chaos. Pulling out of the drive, I make my way to the beach nearby. The ebb and flow of the ocean, simply being beside the sea, calms me. So that’s where I’m headed.
This whole thing with Fay has had me in knots for a good while already, and with my Vivienne now dropping this bombshell on me, I’m reeling. For some time, I’ve had feelings of my own for Fay, but it’s nothing nearly as strong as what I feel for my wife. She is my whole world, my reason.
But there’s something about my colleague that draws you in and holds you captive. I can’t honestly say I’m thrilled to hear Vivi say she’s fallen in love with our weekend lover, but I can’t say I blame her either.
God, who would have thought that what started out as a weekend of birthday fun would first evolve into regular weekends, and then this disaster?
Blowing out a deep breath, I stop to let a car out of their parking bay and slip into the vacated spot. My hands resting on the steering wheel, I sit staring out at the water, watching as the waves rush to the shore. The ebb and flow of the tide soothes in its mindlessness. It requires nothing from me yet quiets the rioting feelings that overwhelm me.
Is there room in our marriage for a third person? If Vivi and I invite Fay to be a part of our relationship, will we survive as a couple? There is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for my wife, but can I give her this without losing in the long run?
Times loses meaning as I sit staring out to sea, Robben Island stark against the horizon. My mind slowly empties of worries and, as always, being beside the ocean works its magic. A calmness settles over me, and it feels like I can take an easy breath for the first time since Vivienne dropped her bombshell.
Reaching for the key still hanging from the ignition, I start the car and point it for home. My wife is waiting for an answer from me, and I think I’ve made her wait long enough.
* * *
The house is silent as I let myself in, and I wonder where Vivi is. I fully expected her to be hanging out near the door, waiting for me. Patience has never been my girl’s strongest trait. I figure she’s probably in our bedroom or maybe taking a bath that it’s so quiet here in the front of the house.
As I start for our bedroom, I glance into the living room, and my heart breaks at the sight that meets me. Vivienne is curled into a tight ball, pretty much where I left her. Tears have left red, irritated tracks down her pale skin from not having been wiped away before drying.
She looks so tiny and defenceless lying there like that. My heart squeezes. I fucking hate it when we fight, and this one was certainly a doozy. Kneeling beside her, I gently brush silken strands of hair off of her face.
“Vivi,” I call softly so as not to scare her. “Babe, time to wake up.” She makes a little sound of protest and curls tighter into herself. “Come on now. Let me see those beautiful eyes.”
I watch as she slowly comes awake and see the exact moment she becomes aware that I’m there. Her body stiffens, and she closes her eyes again. Sighing, I get to my feet and head into the kitchen. If I’m going to get through this conversation, I’ll need coffee. To be honest, I’d far rather it be a drink, but the chances are strong I’ll just drink myself into oblivion.
By the time I come back into the living room, Vivienne is curled into a protective ball in a corner of the sofa. Her wide, red-rimmed eyes follow my progress across the floor as if expecting me to fly into a rage at any moment. Handing her a cup, I take a seat on the sofa beside her.
“I’m sorry.” My words seem to catch her off guard, but she doesn’t say anything. Just keeps watching me. “I know you needed me to stay and talk this out, but I really needed time to work everything through in my head.”
