Page 120 of Tangled Hearts
I feel like the elephant is in the room, and I’m not sure how to approach the situation. “So, about, uh, Eli and I,” I start, only to be cut off by Holden letting out a little chuckle.
“I’ll save you the anxiety. I know. I’veknown. You two are about as transparent as glass. I was just waiting for you to tell me.”
My jaw drops open, then I close it.
“Don’t hurt him, or I’ll kill you, yada yada. Insert whatever threatening thing here. Honestly, I’m too emotionally wrung out to go through the whole spiel.”
“You really don’t care?” I blurt out. I’ve been freaking the fuck out for over a month, agonizing about this, worrying about what he would think, and this is the reaction? “No lecture? No telling me I’m not good enough for him? Nothing?”
“Not good enough?” Holden echoes in confusion, studying me for a second. “Why would I tell you that you’re not good enough?”
“I just—”
Holden shakes his head. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. You knew us for seven seconds when you started volunteering. You’re supporting something that means so much to me without evenknowingwhy it does. And not only that, but you’re abandoning your entirecareerto do it full-time. You’re kind and patient. The kids are crazy about you. Warren, especially. God, what about that saysnot good enough?”
I’m stunned into silence. I didn’t realize he felt that way about me.
“Do you love him?” he asks.
I nod. “So fucking much,” I breathe, my heart racing.
“And he loves you,” Holden says. “So, no. You’re both adults. I love you both. Itrustyou, Nic. And clearly Eli does too. You’re a good person. And you’re goodforhim. I’m sorry that I acted…” He stops talking with a shake of his head. “That wasn’t really aboutyou.Which you know now. I trust you. You wouldn’t hurt him. Not intentionally.”
My eyes fill with tears. “That’s… You don’t know how much that means to me. I’ve been…” I blow out a breath, trying to collect my thoughts.
“Freaking the fuck out?” Holden interjects.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Yeah, I could tell. That’s how I knew I didn’t need to worry.” He pauses. “Okay, so I worried for a second. But then I saw how worried you were. Like you were about to combust with it. It was adorable.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean… sure, it could be a little weird. You’re my brother, and he’s basically my bonus kid. But as long as I ignore that? It’s fine. You almost told me the other day, didn’t you?”
I nod. “Yeah. I was so tired of hiding. Eli deserves to be loved loudly, and I was doing him a disservice.”
“You both deserve to be loved loudly.” He settles against the couch, resting his head on the back and closing his eyes. “Can you go get him for me?”
“Eli?” I question, still staring at him in shock.
His lips turn up. “Yes, Eli. I want to talk to him. Let him know I’m okay. Or… that I will be. And thank him. For being willing to beat my six-foot-five husband for me.” He chuckles a little, then opens his eyes and looks at me, sobering. “He’s never seen me like that. For all he knows about my past, he’s never seen me that way.”
“It scared him,” I whisper.
Holden grimaces. “I bet. I didn’t mean to.”
I drag him into another hug. “We know.” I rub his back, feeling the shudder of his breaths under my palm. “I’ll go get him.”
Holden nods but squeezes me tighter, not letting go for a minute.
When he finally does, he wipes at his eyes again, and I stand up to go get Eli.
He’s not sleeping now. Instead, he’s sitting up on the bed, knees pulled to his chest, tears dripping down his face. “I heard some,” he mumbles as soon as he sees me.
I rush to him, letting him collapse in my arms. “Oh, baby,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“I didn’t listen long.” He sniffles. “Just for a second. It wasn’t for me. It was for you. I didn’t listen long. I came back in here, I promise.”
“Eli,” I murmur, squeezing him to me. “You’re okay. Holden’s okay too. He will be, anyway. He wants to talk to you.”
“He does?” Eli whispers, voice breaking.
