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It’s not like I haven’t spent months longing for the very thing Beck’s offering me.

I’m not sure I’ve ever moved so fast in my life.

Chapter 36

Eli

I’m feeling very much like Cristina Yang today, wishing someone would sedate me. My eyes hurt. That gross, swollen, achy feeling when you cry every drop of water available in your body. Between that and the shitty night of sleep, my head is pounding and my eyes are killing me.

But I’m not Cristina, and this is real life. So here I am, sitting on Dad’s couch, putting my shoes on so I can go home and get the idiot man I love. My eyes start burning.Jesus, self. Okay, he’s not an idiot. Don’t be getting all crybaby about it now.

Dad’s supposed to be getting him, but he’s been gone for over an hour, and something feels off, so when Other Dad fell asleep, I knew I couldn’t sit here and wait anymore. I have to go.

I check my phone one last time, staring at the string of messages I sent Nic last night. My heart thumps when I see that he read them five minutes ago but hasn’t responded.

It’s okay. I won him once, and I can do it again. But first, I need to check on Holden.

Me

Are you okay?

I’m not expecting a response. I understand that Holden might need some time, but a few seconds later, my phone buzzes. Julian, not Holden.

Julian

Hey, kiddo. He’s alright. Safe. He doesn’t feel up to talking right now, but he said he loves you and will come see you soon.

Well, that’s a relief at any rate. I’m not sure I have it in me to feel much of anything else right now, but knowing that Holden is safe does make me feel better, even if a small part of me is still upset about Julian.

I push to my feet, ready to take on the day. Or at least fake it until I make it. Fingers crossed I won’t wreck Dad’s car this time.

The front door creaks open, and Beck steps inside with Kassie, who pushes past him and runs toward the bedrooms. My heart almost lodges itself in my throat when Nic follows him, relief and heartbreak washing over me in equal measure.

That all disappears the second I see the tear tracks on Nic’s face. They’re fresh—still wet—and his lashes are clumped together.

I rush forward. “What did you do to him?” I snap, glancing at Dad.

Nic shakes his head, but Dad laughs. “Nothing, kiddo. Just told him it was time to come home to his family.”

Family.

Dad kisses the side of my head. “Is Roman still in bed?” I nod, not taking my eyes off Nic. “I’m gonna go in there with him. Holler if you need us. Either of you.”

Nic stares at me for a second. Like he can’t believe I’m real. Truly, I’m sure I’m looking at him the same way. He came. He really fucking came. “Why haven’t you responded to any of my messages?”

He clears his throat, and when he speaks, his voice is raw and shaky. “I didn’t get any of them until I was on my way here. My phone died.”

I nod slowly. That makes sense. God, I can’t fucking stand this. Can’t stand the what-ifs. Can’t stand how much sadness is still in his eyes. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you before, but I love you so much.”

His face crumples, and I don’t even think. I run to him at damn near full speed, crashing against his chest. He catches me instantly, twining his arms around my waist and dragging me in closer to him.

“I love you too, Eli. And I’m so fucking sorry I left the way I did. I was scared, and I just needed a minute, but I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

Tears burn my eyes, and I have no hope at all of keeping them from spilling out. “I forgive you. It’s okay.”

Nic pulls back just enough to look at me, his face twisted with sadness. “Oh, baby. Don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you cry.” But then his voice cracks and tears well up in his eyes too.

I let out a choked laugh, burying my face against his throat. “You’re crying too.”