Page 115 of Tangled Hearts
He squeezes me tighter. So tightly I almost can’t breathe. “Yeah, well, I can’t help it. Can we sit down? I want to hold you.”
The raw ache in his voice has my heart tightening in pain. “Okay. We can go to my bed?”
Nic laughs. “Or we can go toyour dads’.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
Nic presses his lips to my temple, then lets go of me, letting me slide down his body until my feet hit the ground. “Just something your dad said.”
Still doesn’t make any sense. I don’t really care, though. Taking Nic’s hand, I lead him from the living room and into my room here. It’s the same as it’s always been, but I watch as he takes it all in with a small grin on his face.
The immature part of me is feeling a little giddy that I have a boy in my childhood bedroom, but the grown-up part of me is far too heartbroken to celebrate that outwardly.
Wordlessly, I climb into bed and pat the spot next to me, getting Nic’s attention. Seconds later, I’m wrapped in his arms, inhaling the scent of home.
I’m not sure when home stopped smelling like here and started smelling like Nic, but it’s a seismic shift inside of me. “I love you,” I whisper into the space between us.
“I love you too.”
“I hate that you were alone last night.” I really fucking hate it, actually. “Were you okay?”
Nic swallows hard, squeezing me a little tighter. “No, I wasn’t. I, uh—I called Silas.”
That hurts. So badly, in fact, that it takes my breath. I love this man so much. He’s my safety and my home and the person I want to spend forever with, and I made him feel so alone that he resorted to calling his ex-best friend. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Eli.”
It feels like it kind of is, though. “Did it hurt?”
He exhales softly. “Yes and no. I accused him of trying to steal you from me.”
That gets a small laugh out of me. “Unlike your ex-fiancé, I’m not a piece of shit. He could try all he wanted to. I’m yours, goddammit.”
He hums. “You sure fucking are, doll. But really? I don’t want to be friends with him, and I don’t want him around me, but… I don’t know, Eli. I just… I don’t think Icareanymore.”
“What do you mean?”
Nic adjusts, moving until he’s sitting up with his back to my headboard. He pats his thighs, and I scramble into his lap, straddling him. His arms wrap around me on instinct. Being in his arms is the most natural thing in the world to me. It’s everything.
“I don’t care about Silas. Or Leo. Not anymore.”
Well, I mean that’s good, right? Not sure that I like theanymorebecause what the actual fuck? Surely he hasn’t been fucking me and holding me but secretly pining for his ex?
“What’s that face, doll?” Nic asks, chuckling.
“I just don’t like Leo.” I can’t help the petulant way it comes out. It just pisses me off. Obviously Nic had a whole life before me, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
He laughs, shaking his head. “God, Eli. I fucking love you.”
I huff. “I love you too.”
“I was heartbroken for a while. Betrayed. But then… I don’t know. I thought I loved Leo. And maybe I did.” Ugh. He must see the disgust on my face because he smiles. “Fuck, Eli. I don’t know, though.” He pauses, blowing out a breath. “Because if that was love, then what’sthis?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
Nic cups my face, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips. “I’d burn the fucking world to the ground for you, Eli. The world and everyone in it. It could be me holding you in the ashes, and it would be enough for me.”
My breath catches, my heart pounding.
