Page 104 of Tangled Hearts
“What’s wrong?” Roman asks, concern in his eyes.
“I—” I pause, trying to collect myself. “Something happened to Holden. I don’t know what, but he just kind of disappeared inside himself and was saying no, and then he was hurting himself, and—” Beck’s eyes widen, and Roman drops his hand to run past me. “And then I got Julian, and he left with him.” Beck wraps an arm around me and tugs me along, helping me keep myself upright as my knees threaten to buckle. “I don’t know,” I whisper.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs.
We round the corner together, and Eli is in Roman’s arms, sobbing hysterically. My heart aches, and I want nothing more than to go to him. To help him. To hold him. But I’m frozen. I don’t know what to do.
“He scared me,” Eli whispers, burying his face in Roman’s chest.
“I know. I know it’s scary, but Holden’s going to be okay, kiddo. I promise.”
Beck rubs my back, but I barely feel it. I’m thankful for it, but it doesn’t help much. Two of the people most important to me have fallen apart tonight, and I can’t help either one of them.
“How do you know, Dad?” Eli asks, his voice cracking and pitiful.
Roman rubs his back, squeezing him tighter. “Because I’ve seen it. I know it can be scary, but Holden’s survived worse. He’s come out of worse things.”
I don’t know about that. I want to believe it.Needto believe it, but all I can see is Holden clawing at his throat until he bled. How is there worse than that? What the fuck happened to him?
Is it related to what Beck told me that day on the mountain? That The Hart Foundation was started for Romanandfor Holden? My stomach sours, bile rising up my throat.
“Are you okay?” Beck’s quiet voice beside me startles me, and I pull my attention from where Roman is cradling Eli to look at Beck.
He’s concerned. It’s easy to see. I nod, too in shock to do anything else. “Yeah, I’m alright, I think.”
Beck studies me, eyes searching my face. “It’s okay if you’re not. It’s understandable.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, really.”
Although, I’m actually not sure if I am. My fingers are a little numb, my breathing slightly labored.
“Let us take you home with us,” Roman says, and when I glance at him, he’s cupping Eli’s face, smoothing his hair. Eli’s staring at him with a tear-stained face and clumpy, wet lashes.
He nods. “Okay. Thank you.”
Beck grips my shoulder, turning my attention back to him. Everything in my head feels weird. Like I’m here, but I’m not. Is this what being in shock feels like? “Come with us?”
“What?” I ask, confused.
“Come with us to our house. You and Eli.”
I shake my head. I don’t need a pity invite. “No. I—I can’t.” Beck frowns. “I’m okay.” I force a breath into my lungs and then another. “Kassie’s at home. I’ll stay with her.”
“I don’t like that,” Beck says, staring at me. Why is he looking at me so intensely? I’m fine. Or I will be.
“I’m okay. I promise.” Beck doesn’t seem to think so, but what can I really do? Kassie needs someone to let her out. Eli needs his parents. And I’ll… I’ll be okay. “What do you guys need me to do?”
Confusion mars Beck’s face. “What do you mean?”
I wave a hand behind me toward the fundraiser still going on just outside the hall we’re tucked away in. “With this? I can help. If youpoint your parents out to me, I can help them finish up, and you guys can take Eli home.”
Beck shakes his head. “No. You don’t need to do anything.” I do, though. How can he not see that I do? He gives my shoulder another squeeze, turning me until I’m forced to look at him. “I’ll talk to my parents. They can take care of the rest of the night. You’ve done enough.”
“I definitely didn’t do enough,” I say in a rush, my stomach churning at the memory of how Holden looked on the ground—the blood dripping down his throat. The look in his eyes.
“Nic?” Roman says, and I glance at him. “Holden’s okay. You did the right thing. You got Julian. He’s safe.”
Safe? That’s what safe looks like to these people? What a fucked-up thing to say. There was nothing about that situation that feltsafeto me. But what the fuck do I know? I’ve not been around for years. I don’t even knowwhyHolden would react like that.
