Page 103 of Tangled Hearts
He jerks away from me, shaking his head almost violently. “Please don’t. Don’t. Please don’t. Please don’t.” He repeats the words over and over until they’ve turned into nothing but a garbled mess, his voice distorted and shaky and breaking and fucking terrifying.
“Uncle Hold,” I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here.”
He doesn’t hear me. He just curls into a ball and cries. I’ve never seen him cry like this, and something inside me just… breaks. Some tiny part of me that thought he was invincible.
“Please, Uncle Hold,” I whisper. “Please.”
“Eli.”Julian. I turn from Uncle Holden and find Julian and Nic rushing toward us. “Hey, kid. It’s okay,” Julian says, kneeling besideme in front of Holden. “Hey, darlin’,” he whispers. “Come back to me.”
There’s nothing. Just tears and sobs. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”
Still nothing, but Julian doesn’t let it stop him. He scoops Holden up in his arms. Holden fights him like he did Nic, still chantingno, but Julian ignores him. It pisses me off. “What the fuck are you doing?” I snap. “He’s saying no. Leave him alone.” My voice cracks, more tears wetting my face.
“I know, Eli,” Julian says, barely sparing me a glance. “He’s not here, though. I can help him, I promise. I won’t hurt him.”
I shake my head, shoving at his arm. “Stop it. You always listen to him. He told me you always listen when he says no. Why aren’t you listening?”
“Eli,” Nic says, trying to grab me, but I jerk away from him. Julian stands, holding a still-fighting Holden in his arms.
“Put him down!” I scream, my throat aching and raw. “Stop touching him.” I shove at Julian again, hitting him in the arm with my closed fist.
“He was hurting himself, Eli. Stop. Let Julian take care of him,” Nic says, grabbing my arm again.
I turn and bury my face against Nic’s chest. “He’s not taking care of him. He’s hurting him. Holden told me Uncle Julian always respects his no.”
“This is different, Eli,” Julian murmurs, and when I turn to look back at him, he looks as wrecked as I feel. God, how am I going to survive this night? How am I gonna watch two people I love so much break down like this? Julian looks down at Holden. “He’s already calming down. See?”
I force a deep breath into my lungs, then wipe at my face. Holden’s not jerking around anymore. He seems like he’s melted into Julian, but he’s still crying—hiccuping sobs that sound weak and heartbroken.
“I’m sorry I hit you,” I choke out, my heart racing at what I just did.
“Don’t apologize, Eli. Thank you for fighting for him. I have to get him out of here. Go find your dads.” I shake my head. I don’t want Julian to take him away. I need to see him. Need to make sure he’s okay. Need to find out what happened, but Julian’s already walking away. “It’s okay, my darlin’. I’m gonna get you home, and you’re gonna be just fine, okay? I’m here.” Julian’s softly spoken voice has sobs building in my chest.
The first one comes out, and Nic is there instantly. “Hey, shhh. It’s okay.” But his voice is shaking, so he clearly doesn’t think it’s okay.
“Nothing about that was okay,” I snap, but then I’m crying again.
“I know, baby. I know.” I’m shaking and he’s shaking and my heart hurts and I don’t think my knees will hold me up anymore, and I think Nic shares that sentiment because before I know it we’re both on the ground, arms wrapped around each other. “Are you going to be okay if I go get your dads?”
“No.” But I need them. And they need to know what happened. What the fuckdidhappen? “But go get them, anyway.”
Nic nods, then releases me. He’s gone in a second. And I’m alone. Alone and scared and cold. So fucking cold.
The echoes of Holden’s sobs are still ringing in my ears, the fear in his eyes imprinted in my mind. I’ll never, ever be able to unsee that. I sink my teeth into my lip, biting down until I taste blood. I don’t even care.
I wrap my arms around myself, rocking back and forth and trying to get myself together. But I can’t. I want to scream or cry or breakthings. I want to go back ten minutes and find out what happened. Find out what I did wrong so I can undo it.
Chapter 33
Nic
Ileave Eli in the hallway against my better judgement, running off to find Roman and Beck.
My mind is racing, my heart pounding so hard it feels like it might actually explode from my chest. I don’t know much, but I know a trauma response when I see one. I know what being triggered looks like. I don’t know why seeing me with Eli triggered Holden, but that’s exactly what happened.
There’s a lead weight in my stomach as I scan the room. I’m shaking damn near violently, my legs barely holding me up. He was hurting himself. He was digging his nails into his skin and ripping it open. There’s still blood on my fingers from trying to hold his hands. Still a throbbing ache in my jaw where he hit me.
I catch Beck’s eye, and he smiles at me. Relief washes over me as I wave him toward me. He must see that something’s not right by my facial expression because his smile falls, and he slides his hand into Roman’s, pulling him gently until Roman also looks at me. Then they’re pushing their way through the crowd to me.
