Page 94 of Doubts of the Egoist
CHAPTER 26
Yugo expected Kuonto turn around, curse, or cut him off with an acute glare, but his brown eyes were fixed on the slate-gray silk. His scarred back rose and fell with the rhythm of his accelerated breathing, muscles spasming. As if anointed with oil, his skin glistened with sweat. Occasional drops drifted down his flanks, caught in the grooves between ribs before soaking the silk.
“Do not ignore me!” The words scratched at Yugo’s throat. He drove the dildo deep into his captive’s body, nearly forcing the knot inside.
Kuon groaned, pulling at the restraints. Yugo’s vision swam as the room melted in misty waves of heat and intoxication. His focus jumped, struggling to stay put, wanting to embrace the whole of Kuon and commit him to memory. But it stalled when it reached the slightly bent knee and the wet spot on the linens beneath Kuon’s hips.
So much pre-cum… Who is he thinking about? The dog?The need for an answer clawed at the inner walls of Yugo’s ribcage, striking sparks. In a chain reaction, the pool of alcohol he’d meticulously poured down his throat ignited with jealousy. He tore his hand away from the dildo and brought it down on the round ass several times, hard.
With every slap, Kuon’s sphincter spasmed around the silicone, as if milking it.
Kuon squirmed, biting back the tiny noises of pleasure or pain, but they broke through anyway, mingling with his heavy panting. Convulsions overrode his muscle control, sendingcarmine serpents of scars writhing and twisting across his back. Familiar red spots of impending climax blossomed all over his powerful shoulders. His mouth opened in a silent cry, and white teeth gleamed as he bit down on the gray silk.
Yugo pulled back. His eyes focused on the pink palm prints bleeding into the pale skin of Kuon’s ass, then drifted down to the curve of his trembling knee. In the shadows beneath Kuon’s body, thick ropes of cum stained the bedsheet, too thick to absorb.
Yugo smirked, staring at his smarting palm. He wanted to mock Kuon about coming from being spanked or fucked by the dog dildo, but the fire of jealousy turned into a conflagration of mad need to claim and mark. Even the painful friction of his jerking cock against the rough fabric could bring him to the brink of orgasm at any moment. Certain that if he spoke, his voice would be thick with desire or shaking with need, Yugo silently pulled the dildo from Kuon’s ass.
The hole released the silicone with a dirty slurp. Wet and promising, it made the tiny hairs on Yugo’s arms prickle and his mouth water. His attention followed the sound, tunneling to a gaping hole, shamelessly revealing the beautiful, pulsing insides. Pumped with blood, the tissue was saturated with a deeper color—enticing, beckoning, promising paradise. Kuon had often been a little too tight there, borderline painful, so now Yugo stared into the soft, stretched-out depths, yearning to taste that gentle pleasure with his tongue and cock.
Smoldering lust reduced what was left of his sanity to ash. Air scalded his throat. He gulped it down, then sucked in a shuddering breath, giving in to the need that unleashed his primal instincts.
His hand tugged at the drawstring of his pants, ready tofree his aching cock. He would have taken what was his by right of the strongest if Kuon hadn’t half-turned to his side. Yugo’s eyes naturally gravitated to the purple marks on the side of Kuon’s throat, delivering the mental blow to his solar plexus that set him back on his heels.
The lust died. The grip of the alcohol loosened as the bitter ice of realization stabbed his mind. Kuon was right. This act of violence hadn’t changed anything; in fact, it made him even more conflicted. A jet-black snake of jealousy gnawed at his guts, paving the way for blinding possessiveness, the need to dominate and bend Kuon to his will. To hide him from the world, to isolate him, to make sure he never had to share his attention with anyone else. At the same time, Yugo doubted he could ever both forget and forgive. But he was sure of one thing, time and livor mortis would erase the marks of infidelity from Kuon’s body and his own memory.
Mindlessly, he rose from the bed and walked over to the dark wooden escritoire. He opened the top drawer, pressed a concealed button, and flipped down a panel revealing a cache of firearms.
He rested his hand on the cool, black polymer frame of the Glock, wondering if killing Kuon would bring him any relief and if the bullets inside would be enough to eradicate the venomous snake that coiled around his heart.
The annoying sunlightdimmed, providing shade and allowing Kuon to sink deeper into the cold, sticky bog of agony caused by the mental and physical onslaught.Yugo shuffled around the room, but Kuon refused to look at him. Gulping down the bitter saltiness pooling in his mouth, he lay still, processing the fact that the vector of his life just tilted a little more, even thoughhe wasn’t sure he could fall any lower. His arms tingled with settling numbness while his mind sank into a fog, protecting itself from reality.
A sticky silence spread in the morning laziness. The dark floors, having absorbed the sunlight, radiated heat and made the air stuffy.
“Release me.” His uncompromising order hung heavily between them as Kuon finally mustered the strength to fix his tired eyes on Yugo’s rigid back. He pulled at his restraints, making noise, but the man didn’t look up from what he was doing.
Sure that he had been ignored, Kuon chewed on his lower lip and turned his face away, but a second later, soft footsteps approached. The bed sank beside him, and long fingers ghosted over his shackles. Clearly avoiding skin-to-skin contact, Yugo released Kuon’s limbs, fished the key from his pocket, and unlocked the lock at the back of Kuon’s neck. The leash slipped down and curled on the sweat-stained silk.
The captive lifted himself to all fours, sat back on his knees, and rubbed his sleeping fingers to get the blood flowing again.
The unpleasant feeling of being watched made him turn around. Yugo’s face wore a disturbing expression, a mixture of malice and contempt, accentuated by the cruel lop-sided smirk. Without meeting his eyes, Yugo turned away and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. His shoulders slumped forward, and his head hung low as he sank into thought.
Kuon asked no questions. Having given up on starting a conversation, he got up and struggled to the door, swaying on his wobbly legs. His insides felt feverish and bloated, and theslickness between his legs reminded him of the first time he had sex with Yugo. Things changed, yet somehow nothing changed. The infinity serpent bit its tail, and there he was again, leaving this room wanting to vomit and die. The pain was less intense this time, however, the disgrace tasted the same, if not worse. There was a metallic tang of broken trust mixed in.
He pulled the bronze door handle, then scoffed as a soft rustle preceded a wave of air that hit his hypersensitive skin. Yugo’s palm returned the door to its frame. Despite the slowly rising room temperature, he shivered from the frost trapped in his marrow.
“I’m not done yet,” Yugo rasped into his ear.
Of course, he won’t let me leave.Kuon didn’t turn around. He pressed his forehead against the dark beech door, absorbing its cool composure, then replied, “I am done. Let me save us both some dignity and leave while I still have a shred of respect left for you because you clearly lost yours for me. Move.”
Yugo didn’t budge. A motionless monolith, he loomed behind his back, as if to give Kuon time to process the thought that he was a constant in his life, like the sun, like the moon, and nothing would change that.
Kuon tried to save what little pride he had left. He wanted to walk away without arguing or showing his pain. However, the black, oily pool of indignation welled up inside him, lapping at his bleeding heart. Acrid salt burned the backs of his eye sockets.
A fucking dog dildo…
His head hung low, and he bit his lips, trying to swallow the words bubbling in his throat, but his teeth were bared, and red hatred raged before his eyes. His body turned on its own, and he punched Yugo in his mouth.
Confident that his voice would break if he spoke calmly, Kuon shouted, “No one has ever insulted me like this. No one! Do you really think I’m going to stay now? Move!”
