Page 117 of Seth
Set sat on the sand,the Was-scepter resting by his knees. The evil wind picked at his wounds, filling them with sharp particles. His ulcers reopened; the black matter within glinted under the merciless sun. His obsidian skin, once boasting a beautiful, bluish tint, now looked dull and gray.
He turned his muzzle and settled his only eye on the human. Just like the god, the boy looked lacking, weak and frail. With his spine curved, he couldn’t lift his head.
“It’s okay, Little One,” Set rustled. “I’ll build you a castle of sand, but it will be stronger than iron. No storm will ever destroy it, and you will never be cold again. No one will ever hurt you there, and no sorrow will ever touch your heart. This is the word of Set.”
And the god did the only thing he could do better than destroying. He raised a scepter and started building a sandcastle, hoping it would be strong enough to protect Ignaz from everything and everyone, himself included.
* * *
That night,a shaking bodysneaking into his bed woke Seth. He tore his mask and gloves off and wrapped his arm around Ignaz’s shoulders, palm rubbing the clammy skin. He could sense Ignaz’s pain on a deep, non-physical level as if chaotic electric impulses discharged in every part of his mind.
“Aren’t you scared of me now?” He heard the note of hope in his own voice.
“I am,” Ignaz croaked. His small body flattened against Seth’s, every inch possible touching as if he needed all the physical reassurance he could get.
“Why?” Seth’s throat spasmed, and his voice came out as a hiss. He stared at the ceiling, and the spiky ornament glinting in the dark. The explosion of red, cast in glass, had kept him company for years. The moonlight trapped in every spike often hypnotized and calmed him during sleepless nights. Even now, he searched for support in its violent form. “I’d never hurt you. I’d do anything for you.”
“That scares me the most.” Ignaz’s breath tickled the side of his face. A hand glided across his chest to clasp at his ribs above the bandage.
“I don’t understand,” Seth admitted, Ignaz’s intent look burning his temple.
“The extent of what you are willing to do for someone terrifies me. I don’t want to be the reason for death. I never wanted to be, but you never asked me. Please, don’t do it for me again; never do it at all.”
“I didn’t want them to hurt you ever again.”
“But now I’m hurting more than ever.” Ignaz’s voice broke. “Every night, I hear them scream in my head. I see their faces, but they have no eyes. Seth, what if it’s my hell? What if I died, and this is my hell? I don’t want an eternity of this.”
His hand tore from Seth’s chest to move to his own. He ran his palm over his heart in a calming movement.
The pause stretched. Seth wondered if Ignaz fell asleep, but he didn’t dare to look at him, fearing to break the spell and scare the boy again.
“Will you tell me the truth if I ask you something?”
Seth’s heart jolted, alertness and anxiety flooding his veins. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, refusing to move.
“Please?” Ignaz begged. His breath washed over Seth’s ear. “I need to know something.”
Seth nodded, not trusting his voice.
“Thank you,” Ignaz whispered as if loud sounds caused him discomfort. “Before me, you dated someone, right? Was it Justin Frank?”
Seth’s head rolled toward the boy. He’d never told anyone about Justin. “How do you know?”
“Haven’t I told you I was watching you? You used to come to the club often, play with different people, but you stopped after a single scene with him. I assumed you started dating. Then rumors said that Justin was dating someone rich. I never thought it was you, but now I do. Seth, where is he now?”
In the subtle light of the crippled moon, Ignaz’s skin carried a blueish tint.
As if hypnotized, Seth mouthed, “I killed him.”
The spell dispersed as a gasp ripped the air. Seth’s palm abandoned Ignaz’s skin, and he looked at the ceiling and the spiked ornament.
“Oh my god,” Ignaz slurred and covered his eyes with his palms. A light vibration ran up his body as he sucked a breath in. “Why?”
“Because I loved him.”
“I don’t understand.”
Seth didn’t know how to explain. No matter what he said, Ignaz would never understand anyway. Still, he tried. “He had someone else, and his heart was too weak to tell that person “no”. He did everything for him while he stayed with me, while he used me. I killed for him, and he betrayed me.”
