Page 30 of Obsession of the Egoist
Watching the floor, Rick shifted from leg to leg, rubbed the back of his head with his palm, then shuffled away. Right before leaving he paused and granted Kuon with a long, pleading look. “I’ll wait outside. Please call me when you’re done.”
For a long second, Yugo considered if he should respect Kuon’s wish and let him win this time, but it was impossible. He’d stayed away for two years; he couldn’t tolerate another day. Cutting the distance, he caressed Kuon’s cheek with his fingers but dropped his hand before the younger man could slap it away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Yugo promised.
Kuon huffed but didn’t say anything else.
Fuck my life, so freaking cute…Yugo tugged a pack of cigarettes out of his chest pocket while strolling to the elevator.
“You won’t see him tomorrow, no matter what,” Rick warned, tagging along.
Twizzling the unlit cigarette between his index and middle fingers, Yugo lifted a brow. Upon reaching the elevator, he granted Rick a long considering look. “Listen up, dog, crawl into the darkest hole you can find and don’t reflect the light. My kindness isn’t limitless. The only reason you’re still breathing is that Kuon most likely won’t forgive me if I kill you. You see, I’m trying hard to play nice.” Yugo smiled, shrugging. “But don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. Don’t tempt me. I’d rather Kuon think that he has a choice. Keep irritating me, and I might lose my temper. Kuon might disappear in the middle of the day, and so many bad things can happen to you. Let’s say, you fall from the stairs and break a leg or maybe your spine. Life is so unpredictable.”
Yugo turned and pressed the call button. Rick took the stairs.
WEAKNESS CREPT INTOKuon’s heart as silence thickened. A tiny regret for chasing Rick away twitched in his chest. He hated being alone. Robbed of his vision, he felt as if he’d been thrown back into that white, empty room, except everything was black now. Despite that, he wasn’t in a hurry to call for the nurse.
Why did Yugo come?The thought wormed its way into his mind.What does he want now?
Shallow memories surfaced in front of his eyes. The memories he wasn’t sure he remembered anymore. The warmth of Yugo’s body… the caresses of his hands… the bitter-sweet taste of his kisses. Kuon shook his head, trying to get rid of the weird longing for something that was never real.
Shaking his head, he called, “Nurse!”
CHAPTER 8
SLAMMING THE REAR PASSENGER DOOR CLOSED,Yugo propped his elbow against the window and rested his chin on his fist. The casual touch, when Rick covered Kuon’s fingers with his, painted his world red. The more Yugo thought about it, the more he wanted to break every bone in the man’s body.
Kuon didn’t pull back…This thought irritated him even more when Yugo realized that if he did the same, Kuon would shake off his touch the next instant.
“I want to know more about this Rick,” he ordered, throwing a glance up to the rearview mirror. Greg’s reflection gave a short nod, but the deep-seated eyes remained locked with his for a long moment, so Yugo asked, “What?”
“Why not just kill him?” Greg shrugged, starting the engine.
“Are you an idiot? What do you think I’m trying to do here? If I kill him, Kuon would instantly connect the dots. And then what? If I wanted to force him, I would have done it already. He is blind. Keeping him in check would be easy now…” The fleeting memory of dark eyes and cheeky smile surfaced and diffused in front of his eyes. “No, killing him won’t solve my problem. I want Kuon to choose me, to want me. If he doesn’t, then… then I will consider my options.”
“THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE, HUH?”Yugo said, entering Rick’s apartment the next day. The cheap, plain décor didn’t catch his attention, but Kuon’s scowl did. “What’s with this face? Didn’t I say I’ll come?”
“Yeah, and I told you not to bother.” Kuon slammed the door closed after him. “What do you want?”
“My gun, for starters, and coffee would be nice.”
“Then make it yourself,” Kuon muttered, inching his way to the living room. Reaching the sofa, he perched on the armrest and folded his arms over his chest.
Yugo didn’t move while examining Kuon’s expression with excessive attention. His sharp replies and defensive posture resembled a cornered animal. Yugo wondered if Kuon was scared because there was no one to protect him. Rick had left thirty minutes ago, and Yugo didn’t expect him anytime soon as the ‘tail’ he put on the man never called back. Was Kuon worried that he couldn’t fight back blind?
Approaching the kitchen counter, he made sure to make as much noise as possible, so Kuon would always know his location. His brain worked on full capacity, choosing strategy and behavior. Breaking a beast was easy, but what about gaining his trust and acceptance?Should I tame him? Slowly, inevitably?
Yugo smiled, deciding on the tactic. Kuon tensed as he approached. His hands dropped to his knees in stone hard fists.
“You don’t have to be so defensive,” Yugo said, gliding the nail of his index finger down Kuon’s cheek. “I won’t do anything.”
Kuon lifted his chin in a defiant gesture that also broke the skin contact. His Adam’s apple worked, but no words left his mouth.
“Fine… I’ll see you tomorrow.” Yugo didn’t want to leave. It felt like a defeat, but somewhere deep down he knew that short, unobtrusive visits would bring more results than long, pushy ones. Making Kuon used to him, look forward to his short visits might work just fine to remind Kuon who he belonged to.
On his way to the door, Yugo grabbed the spare keys from the small stand that stood by the door.
THE CALENDAR EXHALED DAYS,flipping by. Kuon felt the change with his skin, with his ears, with his heart. In an attempt to familiarize himself with his surroundings, he’d knocked into the furniture so many times that his toes swelled. Concerned, Rick had suggested that he wear tennis shoes around the apartment. Hearing the apprehension in his friend’s voice, Kuon once again realized how much he had changed and how every little thing riled him up now. Trying to be grateful, he’d nodded, and wore his tennis shoes all the time. Soon enough, he could navigate through the rooms without bumping into furniture.
