Page 59 of Love of the Egoist
“Nonsense, of course, you do. I haven’t touched you all day,” Yugo moved toward the bed.
“Nooo!” Kuon seized Yugo’s naked shoulders, piercing his eyes with a feverish gaze. His face burned, his blood throbbing in his throat.
“Please, I’m begging you, not today. I’m feeling sick, tired… I want to be alone…” his jittery voice blurted out.
Yugo’s cheek twitched as he dropped his burden to the floor.
Barely managing to switch his center of gravity, Kuon grimaced when he hit the floor with his heels.
“You want to be alone?” The vehement all-absorbing flame shone in Yugo’s eyes. “So, you finally grew tired of the act?”
Grabbing Kuon’s hand, he pushed him out of the room.
“Lock him up!”
YUGO SLAMMED THE DOORin Kuon’s face; millions of needles piercing his inflamed brain. Kuon’s resistance pissed him off. Everything had been weird since this morning and he couldn’t find the reason for such a change. Only a couple of days ago everything had been fine. Kuon smiled at him, talked to him, kissed him.What the fuck has changed?If Kuon were one of his usual lovers, he would think that Mio’s appearance provoked jealousy, as had happened before many times. But Kuon didn’t love him, quite the opposite; he would slash his throat without a doubt if provided with an opportunity. And the change happened even before.What the hell happened this morning?Yugo ran his fingers through his hair.Has everything been an act? Was it just a game? Maybe Kuon has never been open and everything has been a lie. Maybe I have been wrong all along and there is nothing honest in him?
“What the hell is going on with you?” He marched to the small room full of monitors. His fingers restless, twitchy when he switched on one of them. The plasma flashed, showing an empty white room with the lonely mattress in the corner. The door opened and Kuon entered. He looked sick, too pale. Closing the door behind himself, Kuon came to the mattress, dropped to his knees, and fell face down on the pillow.
“What the fuck is going on?” Yugo hit the wall, leaving a dent in the smooth surface.
CHAPTER 18
THE NEW GRAY DAY LEAKEDinto the room through the barred window. White, fluffy snowflakes danced in the wind, colliding and spinning, vanishing into the colorless sky background.
Despite debilitating fatigue, Kuon didn’tget a wink of sleep that night. His heart beat at least twice as fast, wearing him down, filling his rib cage with a dull ache. The room was stuffy and central heating did a good job at keeping it warm, but Kuon’s body felt frigid. His brain, rebelling against him, threw each and every thought out of his skull. White silence, mimicking perfectly the atmosphere of the white empty room, flooded his consciousness.
Senseless eyes stared out the window, watching the snow waltzing in the air. Entranced in the nothingness, he didn’t notice the door opening and Mio sneaking into the room.
The boy coughed in an effort to get his attention, and Kuon transferred his hazy gaze to him. He blinked several times in an effort to shake the illusion off, even rubbed his eyes with his fists, but Mio didn’t go anywhere; his small face serious and intent.
“I know who you are,” he said. Kuon got up, his numb legs moving almost with a creaking sound. Approaching the boy, he peered in his face. “I also know what is going to happen to you. I can help.”
“What?” Kuon croaked and rubbed his sore throat. He didn’t get what the boy said, his head too empty to absorb any information.
“Tonight, Yugo will hand you over to Rudolph, and he has a very good brothel for lovers of pretty things such as yourself.”
“What?” Kuon asked again, dumbfounded. The information bounced off his dead brain.
“What are you, an idiot? If yes, I’m not going to waste my time. I’ll do the world a favor and fill in the application form with your name for a Darwin Award!”
“What?” Kuon asked for the third time in shock, and the boy lost his interest in the man. He scoffed, spun, and reached for the door handle, when Kuon grasped his arm, getting back to his senses.
“No, wait, how do you know this and why do you even care?”
“Rudolf told me yesterday. He thought I would be happy. Of course, I want Yugo to be only mine. I dislike him fooling around with you. He is seeking things he can’t get from me in others and I resent it, but I also don’t like what he is about to do to you.” The boy lowered his eyes, and the mischievousness of a child, oozing through his features, made him look even younger. “Not that I care what would happen to you, but I don’t want it to be my fault, you know.”
“And how can you help me?” A faint smile touched the corners of Kuon’s mouth. Mio’s blunt explanation somehow appealed to Kuon’s nature, making him trust the boy a bit more. “Why would you stick your neck out for me?”
“Yugo will never harm me. I’m not risking anything,” he stated, thrusting out his chest. Kuon thought what a child he still was—vain and fearless, imagining himself to be an invulnerable superhero. He used to be like that as well.
The savage steel of a gun flashed in the thin hand and Kuon frowned; his body tensed. Immediate heat, spreading from his heart to his limbs, melted the air around. Something panged inside his head, ricocheting against the walls of his skull, it shattered his vision. His palm slapped a wall for support.
“Greg is downstairs. There is no one outside now. We have ten minutes to get out of here. I’ll go with you. The script is kidnapping. If I’m your hostage, they will never shoot. Let’s go!” The boy handed a gun over to the detective, and Kuon grew numb. His stare fixed on the weapon.
“Where did you get a gun?”
“Are you coming or not? Hey, even though Yugo would never hurt me, I’m still risking things here too, you know? What if he dumps me after this?”
