Page 41 of Fixate
I wanted to make him feel alive in the way a relationship I craved could do.
“I don't intend to hurt him,” I said after a few seconds of silence between us. “I've never wanted to hurt him.”
"That's good. I don't think you ever would intentionally, but just keep your eyes open, you know? Make sure that you're not leading him on and that he's not fully thinking when he goes into situations. If he has questions, let him know to call me. Iknow you're capable, but damn it, I’m his friend. And sometimes asking the person you're interested in is not as easy as just asking someone you know.”
I laughed softly. "Yes, I'm aware. I get what you're saying. I promise that I will make sure to keep an eye on him.”
I didn't tell him that Ricardo had already shown signs of wanting to experiment, and that we had already begun to cross that line. It would have only worried him more.
Preacher would have heard his distress and the two of them would be on a plane ride when they had no business coming. If they came and didn't like what they saw, then they might try to take him from me.
And I refused to let that happen.
Dante sighed one last time, then his voice turned even softer, as he said. "Ricardo has never had a person, you know? Even when Preacher and I were apart, I had him. I had those memories, and I had hope that maybe one day fate could work out and we would be together again. But Ricardo hasn't had that. He's always been about the organization and the family. He's done what he's been told over and over again, never indulging in himself. The man is practically a saint when it comes to being the type of worker you want in your camp.”
“I understand what you're not saying,” I told Dante.
He wasn't elaborating a lot. But what he did say gave me an insight into the man that I was quickly as far too obsessed with.
"He'll have me," I said in a steely tone. "No matter what happens, no matter how he feels, I can be that person for him."
The words were out before I truly gave them thought.
Because despite wanting them to be true, I could not guarantee that Dante or Ricardo would even want me to be his person. That he even felt like he needed a person.
This was all brought on from Dante's worry, from his belief that something else was going on. And while I agreed with him, I also knew that making assumptions often led to problems.
“What I mean is I'll be there for him and whatever he needs, it won't change things. If it comes down to it, and I see that there's a need that I can't help with, then I'll call you. How does that sound?”
"Perfect," Dante said quickly. "That's all I wanted. Thank you, Pharrell. You are a good friend. I'm glad that it was you that he chose to go to."
I hummed my agreement, then ended the call. There wasn't anything left to say. He'd given me a lot to think about and while I was concerned about what was to come, I knew one thing for certain: I would keep my word to Dante.
I would be the person that Ricardo needed me to be, whether that was his friend, his lover, or even his Daddy. I would do it.
CHAPTER 15
Ricardo
By the timePharrell came out of the tailor shop, I’d managed to calm myself down. There was no need to freak out anyway. What was happening between us was fine. Completely normal. Just two dudes enjoying each other’s company.
I wasn’t going to let it change the reason I came here. He needed my help, whether he was ready to admit it or not.
“Where to now?” I asked when he stepped up beside me.
He sighed, his gaze firm on the side of my head. I could see him assessing me from the corner of my eye though I refused to look at him. One glance his way would probably send me right back into that downward spiral.
“We’ve got to check on some of the departments for the casino. Later, we’ll check in with the other side of the business. There’s nothing urgent on that end. Pip and Henri are taking care of things for right now.”
“Pip and Henri? They sound like a Saturday morning cartoon special.”
Pharrell started walking, which meant I had to rush to follow. “They might as well be at times. The two don’t really get along.Then again, Pip doesn’t get along with most people. He’s a lone wolf type, never staying long enough to get attached.”
“Then why do you trust him enough to handle things?”
It was a genuine question. Even Dante vetted his men thoroughly before letting them rise through the ranks. Granted, he didn’t have full control of his organization until recently; however, he’d begun building the foundation long before.
“Pip is one of the best assassins in the business. He is loyal to no one, which means he gets a lot of business from nearly every corner of the world. For some reason, he’s always gravitated back to this area. I’ve kept in touch with him, and I’ve even employed him a time or two.”
