Page 257 of The Fall
“Please tell me you didn’t try to flirt your way out of it.”
He flushes, looks away. I laugh loudly, imagining it. A Romeo, my Blair is not.
We finish eating, hands linking together on the table as starlight arrives in increments. I ask, “What was it like when Lily was born?”
“Chaos,” he says with a soft laugh. “Hayes looked like he’d been run over by a Zamboni for three straight weeks. Utterly terrified and completely in love.”
“I bet. He’s a great father.”
“He is, but it was a steep learning curve for him.”
I smile. “Must’ve been amazing to be there for it.”
His grip tightens on my hand. “Now they get to do it all over again.”
The candles, the stars, the soft music; they all dissolve into the light in his eyes. Quiet surrounds us, broken only by the rustle of the palms. He’s staring at me as if there are things words aren’t large enough to carry, but he’s going to try.
His pulse jumps against my fingers. “You know, I’ve been thinking recently about what comes after hockey.”
“What do you see?”
“Coaching, maybe. A way to stay close to the game.”
“You’d be incredible at that,” I say, and I mean it. “A perfect fit.”
“What about you?”
Our eyes lock. This is the part where the ground feels both solid and paper-thin. My fingers tighten around his, a reflex, seeking the undeniable truth of him right here. The warmth ofhis skin, the steady thrum beneath; they tell me what I already know in my soul.
I’d follow him anywhere, and I have. Into fear, into vulnerability, into love. Into forever.
“Honestly? I want to be wherever you are.”
I see him swallow. When he speaks, his voice is a vow. “I want it all, Torey. You. This. Us. For the rest of our lives.” He takes my hand and brings it to his mouth. “I’m ready,” he says. “To tell the team, the league, whoever wants to know. I’m ready for all of it.”
He is golden and warm, alive and breathing. I will not lose him; I cannot. “I am too.”
He stands, pulling me from my chair. His hand in mine is a map of our shared life. He leads me to an open space among the candles and pulls me into his arms. We sway to the slow rhythm of the music, to the wind in the palms, the lapping of the water.
“I can see us growing old together.” His voice is a whisper. “Still chirping each other when we’re gray and wrinkled.” His smile shifts, and he tries out a chirp: “You know for a guy who spends most of his time on ice, you’re pretty hot.”
I groan as he twirls me out and pulls me back. “That was atrocious.”
His laugh is a breath against my ear. We sway, and his hand comes up to cup my jaw. Our noses brush. When he dips his head, my breath catches, and his lips graze the corner of my mouth in a half-kiss. He holds me so close our hearts keep time together.
Candlelight jumps across his profile; music curls at the margins. Blair folds his fingers around mine, cradling my hand against his heart. One of his fingertips slowly moves along the curve of my ring finger and across the whole of my future.
“I’ve also been thinking,” he says, his voice softer. “About how this finger looks a little bare.” His eyes stay fixed on our joined hands like he’s tracing a path only he can see.
Everything stops. The music, the water, the wind, it all stills. My next breath catches midway in my chest. Each point where our skin touches burns hotter than the night, and I drink in the open yearning on his face, the way his eyes flick between my hand and my face, gauging, hoping. “Are you… is this you asking me to marry you?”
The blue in his eyes runs deeper than any ocean trench. “Not yet,” Blair says. “When I do, you’ll know. Trust me.” His chest rises, falls. The candlelight catches in his eyes. “Torey…” My name is a prayer in his mouth. “Do you want to be asked?”
Blair is the reason that storms break, the man who grieved without breaking and loved without pride, and he waits for my answer. Between us sits everything I yearn for. Longing is a ribbon dragged from his heart to my finger. Every inhale I take is him, and God, I could breathe him in forever. In his eyes, I see the man I love, and behind him, the ghost of the man I lost.
A desperate screaming builds inside me. How many times will I stand here, caught in this beautiful trap? How many times will I lose this future that hasn’t even begun? I’ve fought so hard for this, clawed my way through time to reach this moment.
I wantforeverwith him. That one true answer cuts through the noise, a single, clear note that silences my screaming. The ghost behind him can flicker and warn, but Blair is solid, and his heart beats steady under my palm. There are no words for this feeling, none that haven’t been spoken before, none that haven’t turned to ash in my mouth.
