Page 30 of Gravity
How do you feel abouthim?
“I’m not sure if I'm straight,” I finally say.
He stills completely, so motionless it’s like we left his soul back on the road and drove on. I watch his pulse flutter above the hoodie's fabric bunched at his neck. “You seemed sure in Vegas.”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
“Ne me fais pas ça, Hunter.” I can barely hear him. His voice is trembling “Please,s’il te plaît. Don’t give me any hope. I need to move past this.S’il te plaît,leave my heart broken.” He rubs his nose with his forearm, sniffing as he drags in a long breath, and then another, and another.
I don’t know what to do or say or how to help, and everything I’ve tried has only ended up hurting him worse. After twenty more miles, I work up the courage to reach across the center console and lay my hand on his wrist. His muscles are firing like hot oil in a skillet.
He tenses like I’ve punched him, then slides his arm out from under my touch. He leans away and tries to hide his sniffs, but I hear the wet sounds of his breathing and the hollow emptiness of his shaking lungs.
“Why do you play?” Bryce finally breaks the brittle silence what feels like an eternity later. “What does this all mean to you?”
Easy answers, likebecause I always wanted toorbecause playing sports is what all guys doisn’t what Bryce is looking for. Nor is my interview answer ofwell, it’s always been my dream.
No, Bryce wants the truth, and I spend a handful of minutes trying to decide if telling him will hurt or help.
Snow-encased forest blurs beside us. “Honestly?”
“Mais oui. I think we’re past the brutal honesty stage with each other,non?”
“I play because of you.”
He jerks his face toward me so fast, so sharply, that the truck follows, yanking right along with him. Snow grabs our tires as we drift off the highway, but he pulls the wheel and gets us back on the road. He looks back at me, his entire body a question, tense like he is scared to hear the rest.
“I was sixteen when you were drafted into the NHL.”
He was a nobody when he was drafted, but he exploded during his rookie year. In a world where it felt like you had to be Great before you were fifteen, seeing Bryce Michel take over the league from the inside out when he was drafted as a second choice backup pick was… life changing.
Watching him has always been like watching lightning strike ice. He has always been in command of the rink, moving like he’s the conductor of this game and everyone is playing the way he wants them to. Bryce has always been unstoppable—
Until now. Untilme.
Now we’re barreling into the Canadian wilderness, both of us battered and broken, and I’m confessing a truth that maybe I should have told him when we first met.
“I play because you inspired me to reach for something beyond myself. You were the driving force behind every day that I spent at the rink. At night, I’d lie in bed and stare at that poster of you fromSports Illustrated. You know, the one from your rookie year? I’d try to imagine the world through your eyes. What was it like to be so incredible?”
The muscle in Bryce’s cheek is working overtime, fluttering like a guitar string. “Mon Dieu,” he whispers. The speedometer ticks up, and the engine roars. Snow rooster tails behind us in the rearview mirror. “I thought you felt the same things I did when we were together, but—” His chin bobs as a whimper of pain slips from him. “You watched me play when you were a teenager.”
“You’re my hero. You’re a lot of guys’ hero.”
“Peut-être. But I wanted to be something different to you.”
You are.
S’il te plaît, leave my heart broken, he said.
What do I do? What the hell do I do?
“Why me?” I ask.
He blows out a breath like he’s barking out a laugh and trying not to break into tears at the same time. “Calisse, if you could answer why someone falls for someone else, you’d be a bazillionaire.” A moment, and then. “You areéblouissant. I wanted to meet you because you are an amazing, talented player, but as soon as I did, I knew I was in trouble. I could not tear myself away, and every minute we were together felt like…perfection. I wanted to ignore everyone else and be only with you. I tried to play it cool, but…” He smiles, sadly. “You know, you were my first kiss.”
“Ever?”
“Non. My first with a man. So,peut être, the first I really wanted. And yours is the only kiss I cannot get out of my head.”
