Page 85 of The Quarterback
“Tell me why you’re here,” Kimbrough finally said. “Tell me why you look like fresh-baked shit.”
“I want a job,” Colton blurted. “I want to go work on one of your rigs. Any rig. Anywhere. Just… far away. I need—” His jaw clenched. His Adam’s apple rose and locked in place. He shook his head, batted his glass back and forth across the table.
Kimbrough sat back, dragging his whiskey with him. He stared at Colton, his sharp eyes digging under Colton’s skin like he could excavate Colton’s shattered heart. If only. If only Kimbrough could drag all those broken pieces out and throw them away. But if he did that, would there be anything left of Colton Hall afterward?
“Do you remember how many sons and grandsons I said I have?”
Colton blinked. “Six sons. Seventeen grandsons.”
Kimbrough nodded. “You know what happens when you have that many little Kimbroughs running around?”
You run out of jobs. You can’t just give things away to any young guy who comes asking. He shook his head. Chewed on the inside of his lip.
“You realize that one or two, or even three of them are gay.”
Colton’s gaze shot up.
“I know what it looks like when one guy falls head over heels for another. I watched one of my sons and two of my grandsons fall in love with other men. I saw the careful way they negotiated that. How they tried to keep the world at arm’s length.”
“I’m— I’m not—”
“I know what I saw. I know I saw you and Nick head over heels for each other out at the Basin.”
He flinched. Worked his jaw left and right. “I’m not gay,” he whispered. “It was only…” He couldn’t say his name. “Him. Only ever him.”
“I’ve known Nick for a few years now. We’ve been working on my network for eighteen months, and he spent another eighteen months before that trying to sell me on the idea. I’ve seen a lot of Nick Swanscott, but I’ve never seen him as…” Kimbrough’s eyes narrowed. “Captivated,” he finally said. “As he was with you.”
What the hell could he say to that? He looked away, to the candles. No, not there. Memories danced in the flames. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“I’m guessing that the reason you showed up here looking like you do is because something happened between you and Nick. And now you’ve lost your position on the team, and you have to watch a wet-behind-the-ears little shit take your place. Is that coaching gig they’ve got you in legitimate, or are you just standing on the sideline to look pretty?”
“I don’t know. Clarence doesn’t listen to me. I tried to tell him where he needed to improve, but…” He shrugged.
Kimbrough was quiet for a moment. “You know, my rigs are full of men who are running away from something. Most of the guys out there are trying to hide from some uncomfortable truths about themselves.”
“I guess I’ll fit right in, then.”
“No, Colton. I won’t give you one of those jobs.”
Hot shame washed over him. His eyes went wide, even as he swallowed his other reactions. He wanted to curl forward, bury his head in his arms. Hide his face from Kimbrough and the world.
“I send my sons and grandsons to work on my rigs because I want them to know the value of hard work. But you don’t need to learn that lesson. You already know what hard work means and what you can achieve when you set your mind to it.”
Guilt made his stomach clench. Hard work, like he should have been doing all summer. Instead, he’d put all his focus on Nick. On falling in love. “I can work hard for you—”
“Hell, I already know you can work your ass off for me. But I don’t need that from you, Colton. I don’t need another broken man who’s running away.”
Colton hung his head. “I get it. I’m sorry, I’m… grasping. I’m sorry I wasted your time tonight.”
“Here’s what Idowant from you.” Kimbrough’s voice was soft. “I want you to finish your degree. You’ve got ten months left. Put in the time, andfinish.”
“I’m just an ergonomics major. What am I supposed to do with that after college?”
“I was just a philosophy major. I wanted to chase the pretty girls in the liberal arts building. It was nothing but a sausage fest over in the geology department, at least back in the Stone Age when I went to school. Everything I learned about petroleum engineering, I learned after college. And if you want, you can, too. But the point is, you need to finish your degree, for yourself.”
Colton nodded.
“Two, I want you to coach that pissant who’s taken your job. He’s not listening? Show him that he needs to. After his little stunt today, he’d better start working on himself, or it won’t matter how far he can hurl that football. He’s got to start showing some personal leadership, or he’s going to lose everyone. The team, and the nation. That was your greatest success, Colton. Not your arm or your hard work, but how you stood in front of that team and led those men.”
