Page 74 of The Quarterback
Colton stared at the floor, at the collection of candles Nick had lit the night before.
Justin wiped his nose. Squeezed his eyes closed. Waved his hands in front of his face before another wave of tears cascaded down his cheeks. “I thought you wantedmein your life. Nothim.” He glared at Colton. “I thought I had a dad again.”
“Justin—”
“I can’t do this.” Justin tore away from Wes. He grabbed Wes’s truck keys from the counter and turned to the door.
“Wait, Justin,please!” If Justin walked out that door, he might never come back. Nick might never see his son again.
Justin yanked open Nick’s door and fled.
What else could he do? Nick took off after him, leaving Colton and Wes behind.
* * *
Colton breathed out slowly.
Would he breathe in again?
Did he want to?
His lungs stubbornly filled, shallow pants that left him dizzy, made the walls melt and the world spin.
Had Nick really said all that?
It wasn’t going to last.
It was just summer.
His heart had popped like a water balloon inside his chest. He could feel parts of himself slipping and sliding, escaping from the shape of the man he’d thought he was becoming. He’d thought he was becoming someone, especially to Nick.
Now he was nothing but pieces, the same broken jigsaw puzzle he’d always been, kicked over and scattered by other people. Pieces lost. Pieces broken. Pieces thrown away.
Didn’t you know this was how it was going to end? It always ends like this.
People leave when you’re yourself.
Fuck, he’d opened himself all the way for Nick, given Nick everything he was. Showed him all the parts and pieces that made up his soul. He’d wanted Nick to know him like no one else ever had, not his mom, not Wes, not anyone. He’d wanted Nick to like him—no, tolovehim. To love what he saw when Colton showed him his carefully concealed heart, cradled in the palms of his hands.
It was just summer.
He’d been dreaming of forever, had wanted endless mornings and a thousand nights with his head pillowed on Nick’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. He’d imagined rings on their fingers, had whispered in the moonlight that he loved Nick. That counted, right? He’d said it out loud, even if Nick had been sleeping when he did.
He’d dreamed of forever, but Nick had been waiting for their end.
He was so stupid. He should have seen this coming. How the fuck were they supposed to last? Nick had a professional reputation. Business partnerships. What would Kimbrough think if he knew Nick and Colton had fooled around in Nick’s office? That he’d kissed Nick in Kimbrough’s chopper? Kissing Colton in public could cost Nick millions.
But, damn it, he’d wanted to kiss Nick in the park so many times. Wes had proven you could come out—be outed—and still be the best. Colton wasn’t the best anymore, not even close, and he wasn’t gay, but given the choice between letting Nick go and holding his hand in the park, Colton knew what he’d pick.
He used to think there was nothing in the world for him but football. He wasn’t any good at anything else, and the only thing people liked him for was how he threw the ball. Football was his first love, his only love, until…
Until Nick had shown him a different future. One where maybe it was okay that his shoulder had been destroyed, and maybe there was a life after being a damaged quarterback. Maybe there was something he wanted more than football. Football was his first love, but he’d been thinking that maybe he’d found his second love sometime between watching Nick play PlayStation and coming harder than he ever had with Nick’s cock inside him.
In some universe, there was a future where he didn’t play football and where he woke up in Nick’s arms every day. Maybe he worked in an office. Maybe he drank wine and held Nick’s hand every night. Maybe he had a quiet confidence that what he did, while not drawing millions of viewers on ESPN, made an impact on someone’s life.That man is alive today because of you, Nick.
That universe wasn’t this universe.
Clearly.
