Page 73 of The Quarterback
Nick’s heart shattered.
He’d thought that he’d seen every emotion Justin’s eyes could ever show. He’d nurtured his son from his toddler stages to elementary school, through the tortured preteen years and into the brooding silences of adolescence. He’d seen Justin happy, sad, angry, hurt, irritated, frustrated, and exhausted, and every shade in between. He’d seen him bellowing at his mother and him, purple and incandescent with rage, and he’d seen the joy in his eyes on his birthdays and Christmas mornings when he tore open the presents Nick had lovingly picked out for him year after year. He’d seen Justin happier than ever last year after Paris and then witnessed the thunderclouds of heartbreak when Wes had told him goodbye. He’d held his son as he wept over Wes’s hospital bed and had nearly come apart himself when Justin told him yes, he did want Nick to move down to Austin to be with him, and yes, he did want to repair their relationship after so many broken years. Yes, he did love him, and he always had, and he always would, Justin had said. Nick’s mind had taken a picture of Justin that day, sitting across from him at that restaurant.
He’d never seen the emotions in Justin’s eyes that he saw now.
Horror. Revulsion. Disgust.
Betrayal.
Anguish. So much anguish Nick couldn’t breathe. He was drowning in his son’s agony, in his devastation. In theWhyandWhyandWhythat stabbed him through the heart.
Your child was never supposed to look at you like that. Like you’d just unpinned the four corners of the foundation to their world. Like you’d torn apart their surety, their safety, everything they relied on. Like you’d taken their happiness and poisoned it, killed it in front of them.
Justin hadn’t looked like that when Nick had told him he and Cynthia were divorcing.
“Justin, please.” He stepped forward, held out his hands. They were shaking. “It’s not what you think—”
“Not what I think?” Justin took a giant step away from him. “This isn’t my dad fucking my friend? Behind my back?”
Colton had become a shadow, a comma of stillness in the doorway to his bedroom. He stared at the floor, his spine curled like he was about to collapse.
Justin’s eyes flashed. “It’s more than that, though, isn’t it?”
Yes, it is, it’s so much more. Colton, he’s—
“Youreplacedme!” Justin’s words were vicious, daggers flying at Nick’s heart. “Colton is just the perfect son for you, isn’t he, Dad? A football player. A manly man. What, I leave, and you grab on to the guy you wish you had for a son?”
“No! Justin—”
“You and Colton in the park throwing footballs. You and Colton going on business trips,” Justin hissed. “You and Colton going to afucking winery!” he roared. “You could have takenmeto a winery with you!Me,your son! Nothim! You don’t even pretend to want me in your life anymore!“”
“He tried.” Colton set his jaw and glared. He grasped one elbow in front of him, his voice defiant but his body screaming that he was about to disintegrate. “I tried to show you what Nick did with Kimbrough Oil Mobile, weeks ago. All you did was laugh about the champagne and the helicopter. You didn’t even care what Nick did! You just laughed it off, like you laugh everything off.”
Cold fusion burned inside Justin, and nuclear-hot eyes flashed murder at Colton. Pinned him to the wall. Justin took a step forward, but Wes held him back. “Nick,” Justin spat. “You meanmy dad.”
“Yeah, but who was here with him?” Colton shot back.
Justin gritted his teeth and spun back to Nick. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he gulped in three rapid breaths before he screamed, “Youdidreplace me!”
“No, I didn’t—”
“But even better than a son, huh?” Justin wiped away his tears like they were betraying him. “Someone you could fuck, too. What could be better? Footballandfucking?”
“Jesus Christ, Justin.” It was Nick’s turn to bellow. “That’snotwhat happened!”
“Colton stole you from me!”
“He didn’t! He can’t! You are mywhole world, Justin!” Nick held out his hands to his son. “You are everything to me. From the moment you were born, you were the love of my life. I’ve spent every day, every single day, wanting nothing but the best for you. Every choice I made,everything, I did it for you. Always. You are my life, Justin.”
“You didn’t choosethisfor me.” Bitter laughter spilled from Justin. Fresh tears replaced the ones he’d angrily brushed away. “You fucked my friend behind my back. Were you ever going to tell me, or was this going to be your little fucked-up secret, how one summer you fucked your son’s friend before you went back to pretending we were close?”
Nick exhaled. His world turned hollow.
“Or is this nothing new? How many other times has this happened? How many other friends of mine have you fucked? Have you always been into guys, Dad?”
Colton was a statue. A statue of Nick’s mistakes, every single one. Why the fuck had he thought he could taste happiness with Colton? Why had he ever imagined they could explore what had sparked between them?
“Never. I’ve never been with a guy before. This… it just happened,” Nick breathed. “I didn’t plan it. It was just summer— It wasn’t going to last. It was just… It justhappened. And I thought—”
