Page 19 of The Grave Between Us
Cole beamed—the same smile, the same intensity he’d worn when Noah had saidyes, yes, yes,to Cole’s proposal. The same smile he’d worn when Noah first told him he loved him, and when he’d made love to Noah for the first time and Noah had slept in his arms for the rest of the night. His heart beat so hard and fast he thought it was going to break his ribs. Everything other than Noah—the hospital bed, the edges of the room—wavered. “Noah.”
“What happened?” Noah breathed. “You’re crying…”
Cole cradled Noah’s cheek, brought Noah’s hand up to his own mouth. His tears ran down Noah’s cold fingers, drops collecting in his palm and snaking through the dark hairs on Noah’s forearm. “You were hurt,” he said.A monster from my past tried to murder you.“I was worried.”I’ve never in my life been more frightened than I am right now. Right this fucking moment.
“Agent Downing?” Michael stepped forward, standing opposite Cole at Noah’s bedside. He smiled down at Noah, his all-business,I’m about to ask you invasive questions, and the calculator in place of my heart will be evaluating your answerssmile. It was too polite, too tight, too narrow. The corners of his eyes didn’t even change.
“Michael—”
“What do you remember from the attack?” Michael asked, ignoring Cole. “Do you remember who shot you?”
Noah’s gaze flicked from Michael to Cole and then back. He frowned.
Michael gripped the railing beside Noah’s head. He leaned in, closing the distance between him and Noah. “Did the man who shot you say anything to you, Agent Downing?”
“I don’t—” Noah shook his head. “I don’t remember.” His breath shook, and his chest heaved. “Jacob,” he said, suddenly trying to sit up. His arm trembled, and his eyes went wide, his face pale as the moon. “Jacob, fuck. Is he—”
“Jacob is fine. It was a graze. He was knocked out, but he’s fine. He has a bunch of stitches, but that’s the worst of it.” Stitches, and nightmares, surely. Cole pushed Noah back down, guiding his shoulders to the mattress. Noah stared up at him, hearing what Cole was saying but still searching his gaze for the truth. Cole smiled and kissed Noah’s knuckles. Finally, Noah relaxed.
“Agent Downing,” Michael began again.
“Michael, you need to leave,” Cole snapped.
Michael’s eyes flashed to Cole’s, bare shock on his face for a fleeting moment before he schooled his expression back to his customary annoyed impatience. “Cole—”
“Now,” Cole growled.
“There’s information we need to know.”
“Not now! I’ll call you.”
For a second, a burst of emotion flared in Michael’s eyes. Victory, or something like it. Michael pulled back, silent, and nodded at Cole. He gave Noah a perfunctory smile, Cole a glacial stare, and then led his entourage out of Noah’s room without a backward glance.
Noah tracked his exit, then turned to Cole. “Who was that?”
“My old boss.” Cole sat on the edge of Noah’s bed, holding Noah’s hand in his lap. He smoothed Noah’s limp hair, pushing the dark fringe off Noah’s forehead. “From the BAU.”
Noah blinked. Cole could see his thoughts struggling to form through the weariness in his eyes. “Why is he here?”
Cole couldn’t answer. Just shaping the words in his mind made him shudder, made his vision blur and his breath go ragged. He focused on Noah’s warm skin against his hands, Noah’s eyes gazing at him, Noah’s chest rising and falling, so easily visible now. Noah was alive, and he very, very nearly hadn’t been. If Cole could, he’d give up every breath he had left in his own life for Noah’s name to vanish from Ian’s mind, for Ian to never learn that Noah existed.
His gaze dropped to Noah’s mouth, to his lips, slightly chapped from the hospital’s dry air.Pulling a paper crane from between his cold, blue lips—
A million lacerations opened inside Cole all at once, as if he’d run his heart and soul through a cheese grater. The gashes joined into a single, searing pain so intense he hissed against the agony, doubling over and closing his eyes as he braced himself against the mattress. Noah’s hand landed on his shoulder, and once more Noah struggled to rise, calling Cole’s name. Noah’s heart monitor sped up, the beeps suddenly as fast as the cries of cranes or the beating of wings against the surface of a still lake.
Cole tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t, and a groan punched out of him as he buried his face in Noah’s belly. Alarms wailed as nurses burst into the room, and Cole grabbed hold of Noah’s arms and squeezed until he could feel Noah’s pulse.He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive.
Don’t take him from me, he thought as the nurses guided him to sit in the chair beside Noah as they pushed Noah back into bed. Cole’s vision swam, but through the waves, the roiling of time and memories, he saw Noah’s eyes, felt them pierce his skin, slide into his heart. His beautiful, vibrant eyes.
A certainty he’d never felt before—deeper, stronger, greater than the sum of every longing he’d ever had—filled Cole.I’ll keep you alive,he swore, holding Noah’s gaze.I swear on my life, I will keep you safe from that monster.
His fingers sliding through cold, dark earth, uncovering Noah’s pale, still face, stained with tears.His lips trembling as they pressed against Noah’s, blue and locked in rigor. He could almost smell Ian, smell where his hands had touched Noah, where they’d forced his mouth open, shoved—
He curled forward, hands clenched into fists, and howled as the nurses turned and stared. He didn’t blame them. He couldn’t control himself. Not faced with the possibility of losing the man he loved. Worse—having him taken, ripped away and ravaged.
His scream echoed in Noah’s room. He wouldn’t be surprised if birds outside froze in flight, turned around and tucked tail, headed home.
I’ll take you home, I’ll keep you safe. You and Katie. I’ll keep you both safe. I swear it, I swear to God, I swear to fucking God.
