Page 5 of The Grave Between Us
They’d only wanted to sneak a bottle of champagne on the moonlit beach after their prom, and they’d had no idea there was a predator living in his car in the parking lot.
There were times when Cole’s memories turned on him, and instead of seeing one of the brunette girls on the sand, or in their body bags, or on the antiseptic steel drawer inside the morgue, he saw Katie. Katie, still as death, the same boneless slump she had when she was sleeping on the couch. Katie, her hair slicked back after a shower like the girls’ hair had been slicked back before the autopsies, their corpses freshly washed.
He breathed out slowly, trying to will his galloping heart to slow. Heat crawled up his arms. A flush shivered down his spine. He tried to smile at Katie in the mirror.
Distance used to be so easy. He’d felt for the victims, and their families, in a sympathetic way. Shaken his head, thinking of their sorrow. Waited, biting his tongue and pressing pause on his questions, mentally counting seconds as victims’ family members choked through their sobs, curling in on themselves as if they could stop their hearts from shattering while they faced the future with the person they loved ripped from their lives.
His fingernails bit into his palms as he tried to imagine a future without Katie or Noah. If they were there one moment and gone the next, and all he had to cling to for the rest of his life was a text about homework orDon’t forget to grab milk on the way home. His guts twisted, tried to rise and strangle his heart.
Katie held his stare. He could see her mind spinning, see her putting pieces together. She’d embraced his world, or as much as she could at sixteen. Her psychology class was her favorite, she said, and she’d asked for psych books and true-crime novels for Christmas. Sometimes she’d blurt out questions about a serial killer or an unsolved murder in the middle of driving to school in the morning. Most days, he was torn between pride and terror for her. She was tiptoeing around the edges of shadows, trying to hold a candle against the darkness. There were things he knew that lived inside that darkness, things he never wanted her to find.
“I had another idea for the dance,” Katie said, breaking eye contact in the mirror. She riffled through the bulging hangers clinging to the hooks on the wall and tugged free an airy, knee-length ditzy floral dress with a high neck and long sleeves, decorated with tea-stained lace and little buttons. It was almostLittle House on the Prairie, but the cut was modern, and he could already tell it would look great on her. “What do you think about cowboy boots with this?”
“I think you might need a hat as well. It’s cute. Let’s see it on.”
She grinned and shooed him out, and he went back to his chair. His heart was still pounding. He let out a shaky breath as he swiped on his phone and texted Noah.Hey you. Home safe?He waited, his fingers tapping on the edge of the case, counting the microseconds it took for Noah to reply.
Still at the office. :( Leaving soon. Having fun?
His eyes closed. All good. No threat. He took another breath, and then one more. Typed,Yeah, we are. Hopefully getting close to a decision. Then dinner.
Great. I don’t know if I’m excited or dreading to see what she picks out.He sent an emoji, a yellow face with spirals for eyes.
LOL. I think you’ll survive. ;)
I think I still have an Easter dress from when she was five. Big lace bib, puffy sleeves. I think she had on leggings too. How about that?
“I like this!” Katie called from behind the curtain. “It’s fierce.”
He tucked his phone away as Katie pulled back the curtain and struck another pose, tilting her head to the side, smiling. The dress fit perfectly, and it was sweet and light and charming, dreamy and romantic, wispy and fun. Everything that Katie herself was. “I love it,” he said. “It suits you. That gets my vote for sure.”
She beamed. Spun in a circle and ran her hands over the delicate fabric as it flared around her. “What do you think Dad will say?”
“He will love it.” And, after he told Katie so, Noah would probably hide his misty eyes from her, pretend to do the dishes or wipe down the counters or fold laundry so she couldn’t see his wobbling bottom lip.
“Awesome.” She bounced on the balls of her feet. “You do know this means we need to go get boots now, right?”
Cole laughed.
* * *
Boots acquired—onetawny pair of midcalf cowboy boots, detailed with delicate white stitching—they headed for the food court, and Katie made a beeline for the Panda Express station. They both ordered orange chicken and honey walnut shrimp, then wove through the tables until Cole picked a booth in the corner, his back to the wall, with sightlines to each of the exits and entrances. Katie plopped into her seat and sucked lemonade through her straw, as graceless as a baby giraffe. He shook his head. How she was co-captain of the cheerleading squad, he sometimes couldn’t understand.
“When are we going shopping for the wedding?” Katie asked, shoveling chow mein into her mouth. “Have you guys decided on a theme? Do you know what color dress I’ll be wearing? I’m going to be in it, right?”
Cole froze, his chopsticks hovering in front of him, one shrimp sliding for freedom. It plopped back in the middle of his chow mein as he blinked. “We haven’t really talked much about wedding plans yet.”
“Really?” Katie said around a mouthful of food. She frowned. “’Cause Dad isalwayslooking at wedding stuff. Like, always.”
“He’s what?”
“I needed to look something up, and my laptop was all the way on the table…” Depending on where Katie was, that could be an unimaginable distance of a few feet. “And Dad’s iPad was right there, so I grabbed it. He had all these tabs open. Like, a dozen or more. Pictures of gay weddings, articles about planning gay weddings. He even had Pinterest open. I didn’t even know Dad knew what Pinterest was.”
Cole stared at his plate, poking at his orange chicken as he tried to control his face. Was he smiling? Frowning? He wasn’t sure. His cheeks ached, and he spun the ring he wore on his left ring finger with his thumb.Noah…
He’d tried to ask Noah about his thoughts on their wedding twice. The first time, Noah had looked like a deer about to be run over by a semi, freezing for a full twenty seconds until Cole changed the topic, asking Noah to help with dinner and then teaching him how to panfry the notoriously difficult eggplant. Noah had a second drink that night after dinner, but he’d also made love to Cole with a fevered intensity that had Cole desperately trying to muffle his groans, his gasps that were practically shouts. Lord, he’d hoped Katie had her earphones in that night.
The second time, he asked Noah what he was imagining. Something indoors or out? Large or small? Church ceremony or at-home laid-back style? Noah had said he didn’t know as he unloaded the dishwasher, and then he went to the garage to check the oil in his car, or organize his tool bench, or sort through boxes they had thrown out there after the move. He was, somehow, busy and unavailable to talk for the next eight hours.
