Page 167 of Enemy Within
Faisal looked up, into his great-uncle’s gaze, frowning. They’d never expected these words. If anyone heard the king speak this way, he’d be attacked in the streets. Effigies of him would burn as riots called for his head.
King Faisal sighed, the breath in his body rattling his bones. He leaned forward and rested his hand on top of Faisal’s head. “You have been careful,Alhamdulillah. They would have killed you if they had known.”
Adam saw Faisal’s eyes squeeze closed, saw him swallow hard. He wanted to reach out, grasp his hand, thread their fingers together and never let go.
King Faisal cupped Faisal’s chin. “Hafeed, I left Wahhabism the night your father and mother were killed.Ibn akhOmar, your father, my nephew, was murdered by Wahhabi extremists who had been taught religious hatred right here, at home in the Kingdom. I won’t lose two family members to theseshaytans.”
Banishment. It’s going to be banishment.Adam looked down as the tears started falling down Faisal’s cheeks. Damn it, if there was one thing Faisal prayed for, it was tonotbe banished. He loved his home. He loved the Arabian Peninsula. He loved his uncle, and spending time with the family he had left. Especially in the past year, when he and Uncle Abdul had grown closer in his own absence. Damn it, this was going to kill him.
Banishment, and losing his future Kingdom. A high price to pay for a marriage. Doubt filled Adam, rising up in him like vomit, almost choking him. Words pushed at his lips, wanting to come out. He’d take it back, all of it, if Faisal could stay. If he could have everything he wanted. He’d make it easier on everyone.
Damn it all to hell, this was why he’d left in the first place.
“Hafeed,” the king said softly, watching his great-nephew’s tears spill down his cheeks. “Tell me.Subhanallah.What do you want?”
Faisal shuddered and closed his eyes. “I want…” he began, his voice shaking. “In shaa Allah, I wanteverything. I want to be yourhafeed, andibn akhFaisal, and husband to Adam bin Cooper. I want Adam to be of the House of Saud. I don’t want to go,” he breathed. “I don’t want to leave my family. I want to belovedby my family, exactly as I am.”
The king cupped Faisal’s wet face with his bony hands. He leaned forward, kissing Faisal’s forehead. “Hafeed, you are deeply loved.Ana bahibak, hafeedFaisal. You are loved foreverythingyou are.”
Faisal tipped forward, falling into the king’s lap as he sobbed. Uncle Abdul and Adam shared a look and then leaned in, resting their hands on Faisal’s shaking back. Adam felt Faisal’s muscles tremble as be sobbed, raw, aching, soul-tearing sobs that he’d stuffed deep down inside of himself for years.
All those nights he and Faisal had stayed up talking, wondering about Faisal’s family. Wondering about what would happen, if they ever found out about their love. Had they ever expected this? Ever dreamed that Faisal would be welcomed with acceptance?
The king stroked Faisal’skeffiyeh-covered head, murmuring softly. “I left Wahhabism,hafeed, and searched for something different. What could bring our Kingdom into the world? What reforms could I make, faced with everything against us? The Wahhabis are a sickness inside the Kingdom, Iran breathes down our neck, the rest of the Middle East preying on us, vying for our power and our control. We are the home of the Prophet, peace be upon him. The home of Islam.
“After your father died, I was lost. Had Allah abandoned the Kingdom? The House of Saud? Trapped by hatred on one side, and silence on the other.” King Faisal brushed Faisal’s tears away with his thumbs. “Whenibn akhAbdul came to me years ago, asking to speak about you, I knew what we had to do.”
Faisal’s eyes went wide, and every muscle in Adam’s body tensed, ready to spring into action. Was this where the machete came out? The firing squad? What if all these pretty words weren’t what they seemed?
“Ibn akhAbdul and I went back to the foundation of the Quran. To the roots of Islam. We turned deep into our faith. Asked questions. Why was the message given to the Prophet, peace be upon him? Why did he receive the blessings? We asked imam after imam, brought dozens in to speak at the palace. They spoke of us being Allah’s chosen. Being the ones to unite the world in a great caliphate. But only a few spoke about the heart of Islam: Islam was given to us to fight oppression and to empower people. The basis of the Quran is to seek justice and love for all. To oppose oppression and tyranny. And here, I have become one of the oppressors. A king who enslaves his people.” He shook his head. “‘Remember when you were few and oppressed to the ground’, the Quran says. The soul of a Muslim is supposed to delight in protecting the vulnerable. Helping the downtrodden. Who is more oppressed thanmithli al-jins?”
Mithli al-jins.The Arabic word for homosexuals, for men who loved other men.
Adam stopped breathing. He saw Faisal’s jaw snap shut.
“We read the Quran again, from cover to cover,ibn akhAbdul and I. We looked for everything, anything to do withmithli. The Wahhabis, the Hanafis, the Salafis, all of them, they say the Quran forbids it. Forbids you from existing. Thatmithlishould be purged from the earth.”
Adam slid his hands down Faisal’s back, to his husband’s waist. Monarch or not, if one sideways word fell from King Faisal’s lips, he would rip Faisal from his hold in an instant.
“The Quran saysnothing,” King Faisal breathed. “It only speaks of the Prophet Lot, and condemns the rape that occurred there, as all sexual violence should be condemned. But the Prophet Lot is nottheProphet, peace be upon our messenger.OurProphet never speaks of forbiddingmithli. Not once. There is no law in the Quran dictating how love may be condoned or condemned. We turned to the Prophet’s example, peace be upon him, to guide our thoughts and actions, as the Prophet’s example must always be emulated, he who is of Allah.
“The Prophet lovedmithli. He welcomedghayr uli al-irba min al rijal, men who felt no attraction for women, to work in his home. Not a singlemithli al-jinswas ever persecuted. Ever condemned. We have gotten it allwrong,hafeed. Yallah, everyone iswrong. The Prophet, peace be upon him, and Allahloveyou. Just asIloveyou.Subhanallah.”
No one breathed. No one spoke.
Uncle Abdul rose and crouched before Faisal, pressing his forehead to Faisal’s as Faisal’s tears continued to fall. “You pushed us to find the hidden truth. To find a deeper faith. To truly follow the Prophet’s path, peace be upon him.”
“I thought you were furious, Uncle,” Faisal whispered. He reached behind him, groping for Adam’s hand, and then yanked Adam forward until he was kneeling beside him at the feet of the king. “Wallah, you prayed all night long…”
“We are afraid.” Uncle Abdul’s voice shook, and his gaze darted from Faisal to Adam and back. “You’re not safe here. Not now. Not yet. We have more work to do.”
Fear filled Faisal’s eyes. “You are sending us away.”
“You must prepare for your future.” The king sat back, dropping his hands into his lap. “The future king must follow in the footsteps of his‘Am.” His uncle, Uncle Abdul. “First, an ambassadorship. And then, Riyadh’s governorship, whenibn akhAbdul takes my place as king. And, one day—” King Faisal smiled slowly. “You will serve the people with Allah’s blessings, fulfilling the Prophet’s promise of love and justice in your reign as the firstmithliking of Saudi Arabia. You will guide our Kingdom to adapt totrueIslam. Authentic Islam.”
“An ambassadorship?” Adam watched Faisal struggle for words, struggle to draw in a breath around the tears that still cascaded down his cheeks. “Where will you send us?” No matter where it was, it was still away from the Kingdom, away from the Gulf, away from the family who had just opened their hearts to him. It wasn’t fair. Adam’s heart ached for Faisal, his husband who deserved everything but always had to settle for less.
King Faisal smiled. “Bahrain.”
