Chapter
One
January 1821
Waves slapped the sides of theBritanniafrom all directions as bullying winds prevented the packet ship from reaching its port. Audrey winced at the pressure crushing her knuckles together. Her sister-in-law, Lady Cassandra Sinclair squeezed her hand hard enough to bruise. Several hours ago, they had launched from the port of Calais in France in fair weather, and though the skies had been slate gray in the distance, the storm had blown in more rapidly than the crew expected. Their progress across the Channel, toward Dover, had been mired ever since.
“I think I am going to be ill again,” Cassie moaned against Audrey’s shoulder.
Of the ladies in their cabin, her seasickness was the worst by far. There were several bunks, stacked two high in the large cabin, each cordoned off by a dark blue curtain. Most ofthe ladies had kept the curtains open to congregate with one another, and Audrey had been soothing Cassie on the edge of her bunk for the duration of the storm.
“You’ve nothing left in you to cast up,” Audrey replied. Once again, she thanked provenance that she, at least, did not feel as dreadful as Cassie from the packet’s lurching and tossing and heaving.
Their first crossing, from Dover to Calais, had been uneventful. With pleasant, early September sunshine and a light breeze, she and Cassie had been bubbling with anticipation for their upcoming travels across the Continent. They’d spent the few hours it had taken to cross the Channel on deck, enjoying the air. However now, they and their maids, Greer and Ruth, had been confined to the ladies’ cabin for what felt like an eternity.
“Are we stuck in some circle of hell?” Cassie asked, her mouth muffled against the shoulder of Audrey’s fur-lined pelisse. “Are we never to reach shore?”
It certainly did feel that way. Acoldcircle of hell, perhaps. Despite the stuffy and close quarters, the temperature was near to freezing in the cabin. A thick layer of ice had crusted over the porthole, obscuring their vision. Which was probably for the best.
“It is a sorry conclusion to our trip, I’ll admit,” Audrey sighed.
They’d had nothing but fine autumnal weather for most of their travels, interspersed with some colder rains since November. Their first destination had been Paris, of course, where they’d spent nearly a month. Shopping, salons, gardens, concerts, museums, and short jaunts into the countryside had filled their days, and Audrey had reveled in breaking the rules of her mourning and not wearing black. While she did choose more somber colors, and none of the pinks and creams that Cassie wore, no one had seemed to mind her impropriety. They’d seensome acquaintances from London, including Audrey’s newly married sister, Millie, who was no longer the Viscountess Redding, but Lady Montague, the Marchioness of Montague. Her husband Reggie had recently inherited the marquessate, following the death of his grandfather.
Millie, like Audrey, had refused to wear black in a show of mourning for the wretched man. The late marquess had driven his estate into deep debt just to spite his heir. The sisters had received a few glances at their lack of widow’s black while they toured Paris, but no one had parted their lips to comment aloud. In Paris, one had more room to breathe. A certain level of anonymity had also relaxed her. When she stepped out in public, she was not solely defined by her title: Dowager Duchess of Fournier.
After parting ways with Millie and Reggie in Paris, she and Cassie had gone west to see the Swiss Alps, then on to Turin, Italy, and points south to Florence, Rome, Naples, and Pompeii. On their way north again, they’d stopped in Venice then Lyon before returning to Paris. They’d seen ancient architecture, historical artifacts, famous works of art, and met with several other travelers—some of whom Audrey liked better than others.
The fact that Cassie was an unmarried debutante with a large dowry had caused her to be of interest to many young men taking their tour of the Continent. And because Audrey was a young, widowed duchess with a large fortune at her disposal, some of the gentlemen they came across were rather obvious in their attentions toward her as well. To no end, however. Not one man she encountered while away had tempted her in the least. Hugh Marsden, the new Viscount Neatham, had captured her heart completely, and he was waiting for her back in England.
Or so she hoped.
At another surge and toss of the packet ship, Audrey’s stomach clenched, and only partly because of the storm.For months now, she’d been trapped in a revolving state of confusion and concern, and of anger and disappointment. One letter. One singular letter. That was all she had received from Hugh during the entirety of their time away. She’d penned multiple letters to him and posted them wherever they traveled. He knew to which hotels to direct his replies, and yet, other than the one to their hotel in Paris the week of their arrival, no others had come. Audrey had been forced to inquire in a letter to her sister-in-law Genie, the new Duchess of Fournier, if all was well with the viscount. Her reply had set Audrey at ease while also inflaming her: Yes, the Viscount Neatham was well and good. Michael had seen him a few times at White’s. Hugh had even delivered a lovely rocking horse to little George, who had turned one in November.
It made no sense. Hugh had not been keen on her traveling the Continent, but he would never have withheld correspondence out of anger. She’d read his one and only letter countless times, trying to determine why no others had arrived. But there were no clues within the few paragraphs. He’d even signed off by saying that he loved her and missed her already.
Audrey rubbed her sister-in-law’s back, a curl of unease twisting her stomach some more. What would she discover when they arrived in London? The worst possibilities refused to be silenced in her mind. That he no longer had feelings for her. That he’d found someone else. Both seemed utterly preposterous, and yet…Why had he not written?
“Take my mind off my misery,” Cassie said, her eyes remaining closed as she leaned against Audrey’s shoulder.
“How would you like me to do that?”
“I don’t know. Recite poetry. Say the alphabet backward. Anything.”
On the stacked bunks next to theirs, Greer had been reclining on the bottom, and on the top bunk, Ruth had been keepinga watchful eye on her ill mistress while mending a pair of stockings. Audrey’s devoted lady’s maid smirked at Cassie’s silly request.
“I do not have a single line of poetry memorized, nor do I wish to make a fool of myself by reciting the alphabet backward.” Cassie moaned in dejection. “However, why don’t we talk about all the balls and parties you’ve missed while we’ve been traveling, and thus, all the gentlemen you’ve managed to avoid?”
This time, Cassie’s moan was one of approval. She had come on the trip to escape the matchmaking in London, after all. Michael, the Duke of Fournier, and Cassie’s elder brother, had bit his tongue about it back in the autumn. However, upon their return to London, Audrey imagined he would broach the subject of his sister finding a suitable husband during the upcoming Season.
He would not prevail. Cassie was far too stubborn, and she had yet to change her mind about not marrying. Instead, in one year, she would reach her majority at age twenty-one and take control of her own fortune. There was sure to be a battle with Michael in the near future over this, but for now, they simply had to get through the rest of this wretched storm.
“Listen to me complaining,” Cassie said as she tried to rally and sit upright, off Audrey’s shoulder. Her cheeks were leeched of color and her eyes were dull. “I haven’t asked how you are feeling. You must be anxious about returning home.”
She knew about Hugh’s silence. Audrey had tried to keep it from her, not wanting to discuss it. Not wanting to acknowledge it. But, as Cassie had been persistent in asking after Lord Neatham and how he was faring, vague answers had only been acceptable for so long.
Pushing on a smile, she shook her head. “I am fine.”
“You are not, and nor should you be,” Cassie replied.