Page 52 of Blood and Penance
I bought a new home so Giancarlo wouldn’t be affected by the events that happened the day his aunt was shot and his grandfather kidnapped him. And to be honest it just didn’t feel safe anymore. Even with all the high-tech security, there’s no way I would ever feel safe in that house again. So, with the help of Lio’s money I received because I was still his wife when he died, I found a new home.
Imagine my surprise when Lio’s lawyer got in touch with me to let me know he had left me everything. I thought maybe someone from the Camorra would challenge me for it, but I think Vincenzo wanted to be done with Lio D’Amico just as much as me. What other reason would he have had for helping the Puglisi’s?
Anyway, I liquidated all Lio’s assets and sold all his properties overseas except a house in Greece that I knew nothing about. Apparently, it’s where his mistress and his young son lived. While I didn’t know about her, she knew about me, and threw a tantrum when she found out Lio left her and their son nothing. Maybe I should have felt sorry for her predicament, but I didn’t. However, because of her son, I gave her a million dollars of Lio’s money to help with their relocation. And put another million dollars in a trust fund for their son that would only be released to him at the age of twenty-one. It wasn’t his fault that his father was a piece of shit.
Hopefully, now that my life with Lio has ended, this is the start of our lives together. But Gianni still has a decision to make. With only a few more days to decide whether he will continue to be a priest, he’s been stressing about it. According to the Archdiocese, he’ll have to choose between the Church and his family. There’s no way he’ll be allowed to be with me while serving the Catholic Church.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I ask, as his fingers trail up and down my back, when I wrap my arms around his neck.
“I want to have my family.” I lean forward and pecked his lips, causing him to smile. “I want you, and Giancarlo in my life. I want what we have forever. So, this should not be as hard as it is, Phoenix.”
“You know that I’m not a religious person, but being a priest has been your entire existence for six years, Gianni. You’ve got the scars on your back to prove your devotion to your faith. Your struggle in making this decision is to be expected. I don’t fault you for it if it eases some of your guilt.”
A few months ago, I might have felt insecure about his hesitation to let go and choose us. We love each other. We trust each other. We are a family, but now I’m sure of his love for me and our son. I can feel it in my heart. I can see it in the way he treats us. I see how we are the center of his world. The things he’s done to keep us safe and happy is all the proof I need to know that his love for us is genuine. He breathes our very existence, and everything he does, he does for us. He’s here for us so there’s no reason for me to feel insecure with his reluctance to choose.
“I feel like I’m being torn in two.”
I rest my forehead against his. “Who says you can’t have both?”
He pulls away and gazes at me. “The Church. They will never allow me to be a parish priest or anything close to it if I don’t take the vow of celibacy. I will never be able to marry you.”
“You want to marry me?”
“Of course, I do,” he says, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.
I smile just like I did all those years ago when Gianni approached me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen when we were young. Even now, I still get the same fluttery feeling in the depths of my stomach.
“I want to marry you, too.”
“I’m glad you do. I’ve had my doubts at times.”
“No need to doubt that anymore, Gianni. I’m all in. But as I was saying, the Catholic Church may not allow it, however, other denominations allow their priests, preachers or whatever you want to call them to have a family. To get married and have a life outside of the Church if that’s what they want to do. If it’s about connecting with God, He won’t care which denomination you are a part of. He also won’t care if you’re not a part of any denomination at all in my opinion. Your journey is yours. No one else’s.”
“You really believe that?”
“I do. I think if there’s a God and you want to continue that part of your life, in or out of the Church, He knows your heart. That’s all that matters. No man in a fancy robe with too much power can ever change that.”
A serene look comes over his face like he hadn’t even thought about what I said. He pecks my lips. “How did I get so lucky?”
“This… us… it’s meant to be, baby.” I kiss him, pushing my tongue past his lips. A groan escapes him as his hands find my ass, and he squeezes it hard. I nip his bottom lip, savoring the taste before I pull away. “We were destined to find each other again. Nothing and no one will ever keep us a part.”
He nods, then sighs. “There’s a call I need to make before I call the archdiocese. He won’t be happy about my decision.”
I know right away whom he’s referring to. Father Giraldi. That man has never liked me. And at Giovanni’s funeral it was even more apparent he believes I’m the sole reason Gianni struggles with his faith.
“Father Giraldi can go fuck himself.” Gianni laughs. To me, he always seemed to have Giovanni’s interest in mind not Gianni’s. “Once again this is about you and what’s best for you.”
“I know. You’re right.”
“But before you make that call, there’s another reason I came looking for you.”
I remove my shirt, then my bra. “This isn’t the way to have a conversation, sweetheart,” Gianni says, squeezing my breasts.
“Maybe not, but talking is overrated, sometimes.”
The sound of his laughter makes my heart flutter inside my chest. The amount of love I feel for him is overwhelming. I never imagined I’d feel this sense of peace with him again. “I love you.” he says.
A wide grin falls across my face. “I love you, too. Now a little less talking and a lot more fucking, my priest.”
