Page 1 of Blood and Penance
Prologue
Gianni
This is it. My heart is shattering into a million fucking pieces because I made the decision to do what I never believed I would ever do.
I’m giving her up. I’m giving up my everything.
Do I regret it? Yes. I already regret it, and it hasn’t even happened yet. I'll spend every day of my life consumed by regret, because she’s my one true love. The woman I want to have children with. The woman I would burn down the world for. But she’s someone I can’t have, no matter how hard I’ve tried to make it work. I want to choose her over everything in my life, butwhen that decision puts her life and her family’s life in danger, my choice to be with her I can no longer make.
I have to let her go.
“Phoenix, we need to talk,” I say as soon as I walk into the bedroom of the villa we are staying in Belize.
This is supposed to be the place I was going to propose, but all that changed when I received a chilling warning from my brother, Lorenzo, that came directly from our father, Don Giovanni Puglisi. A warning I can’t ignore.
Apparently, he’s found out what I’ve planned to do. My guess, it was Sergio, my other brother, who has never liked Phoenix and will always side with our father on anything concerning the family, which is why he’s the enforcer. He’ll be the one to put a bullet in Phoenix’s head on my father’s orders.
My father knew how to put an end to everything before it even happened. Either let her go or attend her funeral or the funeral of someone my father believes will make me listen to his orders.
Giovanni Puglisi is a ruthless, uncaring man. I took his threat seriously because he’s given me every opportunity to just go along with what he’s ordered me to do. And I have refused at every turn. I have refused multiple times so I could forge my own path in the world since he declared my arranged marriage to the daughter of another Family.
So, he’s resorted to what comes naturally to him. He’s resorted to what he knows best—death. He’ll have no problem killing her to make me fall in line. I’m supposed to take over the family on my thirtieth birthday, and for my father, Phoenix won’t stand in the way of that.
“Sure, baby.” Her wide smile beams back at me through her reflection in the mirror as she continues applying makeup she doesn’t need. “Give me a few more minutes to finish up, and I’m all yours.”
She’s sitting at the vanity getting ready for our day, and it’s taking everything in me not to pull her into my arms and just disappear. Start a new life under a new name. If I believed we could survive on the run, that’s what I would do. But right now, I can’t protect her or her family, which my father knows. I’m not powerful enough within the Cosa Nostra to do anything but bend to his will.
The custom engagement ring burns a hole in my pocket. I’ve had it for months, just waiting for the right time to ask the question. But now it will never happen.
When she turns around to look at me, her eyes well with tears, and I see the moment her heart breaks, a silent, devastating crack in her composure. We’ve been together since high school, when everyone around us said we’d never make it. My destiny was to lead the Family, while she was on her way to becoming one of the top surgeons in the country. But that’s not good enough in my world.
She knows me better than anyone else. She knows something is happening even if she doesn’t know what it is.
My stomach twists into knots at the look of despair and utter defeat on her face, but I can’t let her see the effect she’s having on me so, I wipe my face clean of emotions as my heart screams at me not to make the biggest mistake of my life.
“What’s wrong?” Tears pool in her eyes. “Did something happen back home?”
We’ve been here for only a week, and the plan had been to stay at least three weeks to celebrate our engagement. That’s about to change.
“We can’t do this anymore,” I say, forcing the words out of my mouth. “I’m tired of fighting my family to be with you.”
We’ve been together for a long time. Now, in our late twenties, we’re still fighting to make this work. Not because we don’t want to be together. There’s no doubt that we love each other, and if we were any people other than Phoenix Blaine and Gianni Puglisi, we’d be celebrating our engagement today. But because of outside forces, it can’t happen.
They’ve won.
I fiddle with the box inside the pocket of my white linen pants as my heart breaks into a million pieces watching her soul splinter alongside mine. This woman is my entire life, the other half of my soul. My family has put her through so much, but she stillstood by my side because of the love we share. Now I’m the one walking away. And I feel like shit for doing it.
“Why?” she asks as tears flow freely down her face. “You want to give us up now!”
“Phoenix, I’m tired.” I run my hands through my hair. “You’re tired. Nothing is going to change. You know the direction my life is going, and there’s no way in hell you can be by my side when I become Don. I’ve put a target on your back long enough. This has to end.”
“So, I’m not worth fighting for!” She angrily wipes away her tears. “Is that it! You’re willing to throw all we have away!”
It takes everything in me not to rush to her and take back all the lies I just spewed. However, I have to end this now for her safety. Above all else, her safety is my priority, whether she understands it.
“Of course, you’re worth fighting for.” I toss my hands in the air. “I’ve been doing it for fucking years. But I can’t fight a losing battle anymore. We’re over.”
Every word feels like a poison dagger to my own heart. But I need to do this. To keep her and her family safe, I will hurt her and myself. Her mother and sister are all she has left. Eventually she’ll blame me if something happens to them, and I can’t live with that kind of guilt. Then the blame will shift to hate, and I’d rather lose her now than lose her later. I have to keep them allsafe. And if that means walking away from her, then that’s what I have to do.
