Page 58 of Southie
“Baby?” Damian scoffed.
My head whipped toward Damian with my eyes narrowed. “Get out so I can talk to him and calm him down before he kills you.”
“So, this motherfucka right here,” he pointed at Liam, “is the reason you won't give me a chance, Camilla? Some fucking white boy?”
When Liam moved forward, I pushed him back some. I knew him not advancing toward Damian was because of me standing between them, and I was grateful for his control.
A humorless laugh filled the room. I’d told this man the reasons I wouldn’t date him, and they’d had nothing to do with Liam.
“I told you why I wouldn’t give you a chance, Damian, long before I met him. It has nothing to do with Liam and everything to do with you.” I pointed at him and he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I told you. Them bitches meant nothing, baby girl.”
“Whatever, Damian. Your revolving door of women is one reason I won’t give you a chance. These women are approaching me on campus about you and there isn’t even anything going on between us! That’s the other reason, Damian. Drama. Drama I don’t want or need in my life. I’ve got enough of my own without adding yours to the mix. Now, could you leave before I’m not able to stop him from whipping your ass?”
“You know what, Camilla, we could’ve had something good, something real, but I’m happy I didn’t waste my time on you. You’re definitely not worth it.” He sneered, looking me up and down like I was yesterday’s garbage, and looked over my shoulder at Liam. “You can have the bitch.”
“I got your bitch, motherfucka!” Liam yelled as Damian moved toward the door.
My arms wrapped around Liam’s waist when his body shifted toward Damian. The door slamming after Damian’s quick exit allowed me to release a breath of relief. When I realized my arms were still wrapped around him, I quickly removed myself from his personal space, taking a few steps away from him. The emptiness I’d endured for the last month returned.
We stood staring at each other in silence. The range of emotions flickering across his beautiful, chiseled face were heartbreaking and startling. Sorrow. Guilt. And something else I refused to acknowledge. Even if I had the same feelings, it was way too soon to express them.
Wasn’t it?
I shook my head and tried to gather my thoughts. I’d thought about this day since I walked away from him. I’d yearned to see his face, be in his presence, and now the day had arrived and I struggled to get a complete, coherent sentence out.
“Hey.” It barely came out as a whisper, but it was all I could muster. His presence overwhelmed me, so much so I wanted to put distance between us, but I also longed to be as close as I could get to him.
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black sweats that hadSouthieup one side of the leg in the colors of the Irish flag. God, how I missed him. I missed everything about him.
He held my gaze for a few minutes longer and then his focus went to the floor. It was strange that this strong, huge, bulky guy couldn’t look me in the eyes.
“I hoped for the past month I’d run into you. Had an entire damn speech for this exact moment, but now I have no fucking idea how to handle this, Camilla. I have no idea how to handle this separation and keep my sanity.” He exhaled and his shoulders slumped. “I want you. I’ve never in my life wanted another woman as bad as I want you, but I don’t want to push you into something you’d regret or something you aren’t ready to handle.”
My resolve to keep my distance from him further slipped away along with the tears from my eyes.
He took a step forward, closing the distance between us. My feet were rooted in place. My heart wanted me to run into his arms and swear I’d never leave him again. However, the logical part of me kept reminding me he was a killer—a killer who’d planned to kill my father, and to stay away from him.
“I see the battle you’re having, baby.” He reached out for me, but instead of touching me, his hands dropped to his waist.
Disappointment filled me because I wanted him to touch me so badly.
He flung his head back and sighed. “Camilla, I need you to understand that I don’t want to be away from you any longer. I gave you the space you asked for. However, I won’t force you to be with me no matter how much I need you. I showed you the man I am. The man you could love and feel safe with. That man is separate from the job they’ve forced me to do, but if it’s not enough, I understand.”
“Liam—”
He held up his hand. “Let me finish, please, before I’m not able to. I can’t…I can’t do the waiting around for you to decide anymore, Camilla. It’s driving me fucking crazy. If you can’t be in my life, I need to learn how to move on without you. If that’s what you want.”
He can’t do it anymore.
The words sounded foreign to my ears. What did I expect, for him to wait on me, forever? It had already been more than a month. The pain that ricocheted through my chest when his gaze returned to mine was indescribable. It was a pain I’d never endured before. An emptiness. I wanted him in my life just as much as he wanted me, and the words lingered on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t speak the words. No matter how much I wanted to.
His large hand caressed my cheek, and my eyes closed. He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.
“I understand, and I love you,” he whispered. “I just needed you to know.”
My eyes closed tighter, and the tears fell harder because of those three words. The emotion I’d seen reflected in his eyes, he’d been brave enough to speak. Love.
