Page 42 of Southie
I leaned forward, kissing her on her plump lips. She wouldn’t believe me if I told her, but she’d be the one who caused trouble. She had me questioning shit I never believed would ever be a part of my life.
“You go jump in the shower, and I’ll see what I can throw together.”
She stood on her tiptoes and gave me a quick peck on the lips before she turned around and continued to navigate her way through my kitchen.
I took a few steps back and propped myself against the kitchen island, lost in the moment. She moved effortlessly through my kitchen, and I had a tough time reconciling the goddess in front of me and the thoughts in my head. This was something I’d sworn I’d never have, but it was all I needed.
She looked over her shoulder and gave me that gorgeous smile I’d been yearning to see the more she was in my presence, and then she turned around to continue gathering ingredients for our meal.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect a woman like Camilla or any other woman to be in my home moving throughout it as if they belonged there. I’d kept my life involving women limited to quick fucks and on rare occasions, I’d hook up with the same woman for a few months before I moved to the next.
The longer I watched her, the more I wanted this a part of my lifewith her, a loving woman at home, and us doing “couple” things. It was unbelievable how quickly my thoughts had shifted to having a future with this beautiful stranger.
To make this work, she needed to hear about my job, and I needed to listen to her secrets.Did she want the same?There was an undeniable pull we had to one another. There was no way she hadn’t felt it the first night we met. The question remained—would she run from it?
“Are you going to stand there all day and gawk at me, Mr. Daugherty, or are you going to get that shower so you can relax and eat?” she asked, shaking her head without facing me.
“I’m sorry, just getting used to the sight of a beautiful and alluring woman moving around my kitchen. Forget my kitchen, just being in my home period.”
She whipped around and frowned.
I made my escape upstairs, not waiting around for the questions she wanted to ask. She was the only woman to step foot in my home and she would be the last.
Maybe a hot shower would clear my thoughts on what to do about Camilla Jennings and my unexpected feelings. No other woman had ever broken through the walls I’d erected around my heart. However, with Camilla, I wanted that to change. With Camilla, I wantedforever.
As soon as I stepped into the master bath, I stripped out of my clothes and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. The short few months of working with Paddy had stripped me of the person I once was. The humanity I’d had. By no means had I been an angel before I became an Enforcer, but this person looking back at me, I didn’t recognize. Fighting had been a part of my life when I was younger, and I’d dabbled with selling drugs once or twice when times had gotten rough. However, those things were a long way from being a hired killer. Now, blood stained my hands. More blood than I cared to remember.
I flipped my scarred, calloused hands over a few times as if I could see the blood of all my victims covering them. Their screams were embedded in my ears no matter how much I tried to drown them out, and now the blood of the most important woman in my life covered my hands.
Although I hadn’t been there at the time of her death, in my mind, along with my other victims, her screams and pleas for help sounded. The constant question of whether she had screamed for my help in her last moments like so many of my other victims before they’d taken their last breath, lingered even in my sleep.
The one person who’d given me a sense of normalcy in my chaotic life, who’d loved me unconditionally, died, and it was my fault. She’d suffered because of me.
My grip on the granite countertop tightened, my head dropped, and my eyes closed. The heaviness of what I’d done weighed on me. My family should’ve been immune to this part of my life.
“Motherfucka!” I screamed, punching the mirror and cracking the glass.
I ignored the pain and blood from the fragments of glass embedded in my skin and stepped into the shower under the spray of scalding water. Palms against the shower walls, I prayed the water cascading over my skin washed away the blood that tainted not only my hands but my soul, and that my sins would be forgiven as the contaminated water swirled down the drain. I hadn’t prayed since I was a kid. I thought God had forsaken me long ago, but I couldn’t help but ask Him to forgive me for bringing my life to the home of one of His most devout followers.
While my blood mixed with the water, lost in my grief and guilt, I didn’t know when Camilla joined me until her arms wrapped around my waist. My body relaxed under her touch and everything hit me at once—the pain, the fear, and the confusion my grandmother must have experienced in her last moments. The fear and horror Camilla had gone through at the scene. All of it was because of me.
“I called for you, but you didn’t answer. Then I heard glass breaking and came to check on you.”
“I’m sorry. I was...was...”
“It’s all right, Liam. You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand more than you know.”
“It’s my fault,” I confessed. Her soft lips touched my back, and my shoulders slumped further. “I did this to her.”
“Look at me, Liam.”
I shook my head, refusing to let her see me like this. At this minute, I was the same tiny kid who couldn’t protect his mother from his abusive father. Weak. Useless.
“Please look at me, Liam,” she pleaded.
Reluctantly, I faced her. My heart ached at the unshed tears and pain in her beautiful irises the color of the richest topaz. If I wanted Camilla in my life, it would expose her to mob life. How could I protect her if I couldn’t protect the most important woman in my life?
“Liam, you can’t blame yourself for her death, sweetie.”
