Page 17 of Knot Her Cowboys
My purr kicked on, startling both of us before she melted. I held her while her breathing steadied, her fingers clutching hard onto my shirt.
“I’m sorry I cried on you.”
“No apology needed. My shirts are very absorbent.”
Riley laughed, pulling away to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “You are entirely too sweet. Thank you.” She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, collecting herself until she was right back to the same Riley who had walked in earlier. “Okay. Let’s get some work done.”
Morgan set a mug down next to my head. “Sleep okay?”
I offered a pathetic grumble in response, staring up at the sky and tree canopy from where I was sprawled on my sister’s lawn. A woven crown of bluebells and bee balm flowers I’d picked from the roadside earlier this morning sat on my chest, a birthday tradition for Riley I’d never been able to stop myself from repeating.
“That good, huh?”
I sat up with a sigh, scooping the mug to chug down the coffee Morgan had brought me. Riley’s birthday always fucked me up in unique ways. Acceptance, guilt, and longing filled me up. It was a potent concoction that punched me in the face every time I thought of her.
I couldn’t regret having stayed behind, not now that my sister was safe and happy. Leaving would’ve put her fully at the mercy of our family, and at least if I was around I could be a buffer, a shield from the worst of it. The guilt would’ve eaten me alive if I had chased Riley across the country, knowing I had left Morgan alone in that viper pit.
If Riley hadn’t gone no contact with everyone from home, I’d be with her right now. Once Morgan had gotten old enough to move out and go to college, I could’ve followed Riley, except I had no way to do so.
I’d been stuck in limbo ever since.
“I miss her,” Morgan said softly.
“Me too.”
She looked at me with far too much guilt in her eyes, the same as she always did knowing she was why I hadn’t chased after the love of my life. “I’m sor?—”
“Don’t. You know I’ll never regret being there for you.”
“I know, I just…”
“Hey.” I yanked her into a hug. “If I could go back, I would do the same thing, even knowing this is how it turns out.”
“You really are the best brother. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Morgan sighed, leaning against me in a sliver of sunlight that snaked through the trees. “I wish she had come home.”
“I keep hoping she will one day. I wouldn’t even care if it was fifty years from now. If all I got with her was a single day, I would take it.”
The click-clack of paws racing down stairs gave me only about two seconds of warning before Pumpkin and Muffin launched themselves at us. I held my cup aloft as Morgan’s Rottweiler, Muffin, crashed against my back, doing her best to lick my nostrils clean while she wriggled around.
Pumpkin, their Chesapeake Bay retriever, sprawled across Morgan’s lap, legs in the air and tail swishing while Morgan scratched her belly. I snatched up Muffin and dragged her onto my lap, where she quickly settled, panting happily, tail wagging up a storm.
“Good morning to you, too,” I said with a laugh.
Muffin stared up at me with adoration, coaxing me with her eternal puppy eyes to plant a kiss on her forehead, which prompted her pleased rumble.
“Muffin, do you love Uncle Cooper?”
Her tongue lolled out, ready to sweep over my face with the slightest provocation.
“Pretty sure that means yes.” Morgan beamed. “We’re going for a hike after breakfast. Did you want to join us or would you prefer to mope?”
“Moping is my specialty, but I guess it would be healthier to choose the hike.”
“I won’t think any less of you if you’d rather blast sad songs and lie on the floor.”
I sighed, using the rhythmic motion of petting Muffin to collect my thoughts. “I’ll come with you.”
“Breakfast is ready,” Maverick called down.
