Page 1 of Knot Her Cowboys
The miles disappeared beneath our plane, the landscape shifting from green forest to open plains and back again as we got closer to the Rockies. I didn’t bother putting on a movie, opting to stare out the window. Bruce and Bryan, my alphas, had insisted on first class for all of us so they could have the privacy pods and work the entire flight. I liked the luxury, but they didn’tneed to work on this trip. Too bad trying to get them to have a real break was like pulling teeth.
That was part of my motivation for choosing the specific ranch I had. They offered a luxury off-grid experience. You didn’t have to go without the modern amenities of hot water and flush toilets, but they only provided Internet and cell service in the communal building because they had installed a booster. While you were out and about or in your rooms, you’d be forced to actually live in the present moment.
My alphas didn’t know that part yet, but I had double- and triple-checked with their assistants to make sure they had nothing on their plates that couldn’t wait until the weekend was over.
Besides, it wouldn’t really be celebrating my thirtieth birthday if they worked the whole time. Even though that had happened for my twenty-ninth and my twenty-eighth, and all the way back to when I’d met them in my last year in college. It wasn’t that they ignored my birthday entirely. Bruce was the more business-focused of the two, and Bryan usually followed his lead, but he tried. Bryan always sent flowers and paid for me to go out to dinner anywhere I wanted with whomever I felt like inviting. More often than not, they’d both show up before bed, expensive gift in hand, ready to spoil me with a great fuck and midnight cake. All in all, it was never a terrible day, but I wanted this one to be different.
Thirty wasn’t a huge deal to me, but we were all moving to Berlin soon for business, and the closer that move got, the more I felt like I needed to go back, even if just for a short while.
I rejected the in-flight meal, too nervous to eat. I hadn’t been home in over a decade. Mom had been gone for three years now and I couldn’t even bring myself to go back for the funeral to make sure she was really gone and it wasn’t just some elaborate ruse to lure me back.
Darlene Fletcher was a woman the world wouldn’t miss.
It felt terrible admitting that, even to myself, but I had barely survived growing up in her house. I’d never met a woman so mean, and I was relieved she was gone.
I twisted my napkin in my hands until I caught Bruce staring disapprovingly at me and hastily set it aside. He hated fidgeting. I didn’t always follow the rules of being a high-society omega, but I tried really fucking hard to make sure he never looked at me like that.
I mumbled a quick “sorry” and focused back out the window, lacing my fingers together.
“We’ll begin our descent into Great Falls shortly.” The pilot’s voice crackled over the intercom. “Thank you so much for flying with Alpha Air today and we hope you have a pleasant trip, or for those of you that live here, welcome home.”
Welcome home.
Home wasn’t a sweet place I cherished from the past, and I carried too many scars from my childhood.
What was the word for when you longed for a place that didn’t exist?
Hiraeth. That was what they called it.
The things I longed for were intangible: experiences gifted to me by the redheaded boy who’d met me in kindergarten and made sure we both survived. Flower crowns, hoofbeats on soil, cupcakes and laughter by the light of a campfire.
Montana held so many bittersweet memories for me.
I missed the sun and the sky, the scent of wildflowers and horses, and a few people I wished I’d never said goodbye to. Unfortunately, Montana housed a great many more people I was glad to keep in the past. No matter how long I was gone, part of me had always remained in Big Sky Country, and even with plans to move to Europe, those mountains and plains continued to call my name.
I took a slow breath, trying to keep my nerves under control. Maybe coming back was a mistake.
I went through my therapeutic breathing exercises, trying to keep them unnoticed. My alphas were pretty chill when I had to use those techniques at home, but Bruce caredsomuch about what others thought and got twitchy when I needed them in public. Bryan didn’t care what I did, but hedidcare far too much about what Bruce thought, and try as I might, I craved their approval.
By the time we hit the runway, I felt more together. My alphas followed me off the plane, eyes glued to their phones. They worked while I collected our rental car, Bruce getting in the front seat and Bryan settling in the back, barely looking up once.
Their loss.
Neither of them were used to driving, preferring a car service back in New York so they could work on their commute. I happily took over the role of driver, rarely having the opportunity back on the East Coast.
“Do you mind if I open the windows?” I asked as we pulled onto the freeway.
“Go ahead,” Bruce said absently.
I hit all four buttons on my door, the front and rear windows gliding down.
“Oh my god.” Bruce cringed. “What the fuck is that smell?”
“Cows,” I replied.
“Roll the windows back up, please.” Bryan paled. “That’s vile.”
“You’re gonna have to get used to it. Montana has more cows than people.”
