Page 58 of When It Reins
Mitch shrugs. “I like it. Solitude. I didn’t have that for a really long time on the road.” He sighs and sets his fork down, reaching into his bag and grabbing a battery-powered lantern. I realize how dark it’s gotten when he illuminates the area. “When I came home, I lived with my mom at first, liked seeing her again. But then she took my silence as depression and would constantly have my brothers coming around. My niece, Lue, had more sleepovers at my mom’s during that time than she ever has since.”
“She was worried about you.”
“I get that, but I’m a guy who’s okay being on my own.” He says the words, then laughs a little and looks at me, noticing my expression. “Well, I was.”
I shrug my shoulders and sigh. “I hope I’m not messing with your plans.”
“Starling, you’re doing anything but.” He shakes his head, his eyes devouring me again. “You have no idea what you’ve done for me since you came into my life, Little Starling.”
“You either.” I set aside dinner and scoot closer, wanting to touch and be near him. It is a recurring feeling that I am going to have to get used to. “You’ve become somewhat of a best friend to me.”
I don’t want my words to scare him. I want him to know that I rely on him, but I don’t want him to think that I can’t be on my own.
Though, I really don’t want to be.
His brows furrow, and he looks intently at me, taking in every freckle on my face before holding my gaze. His big hand moves up and cradles my jaw, his thumb running over my cheek. He looks like he’s in pain, but I know he’s just feeling more than he normally allows himself to.
“Juniper, you have no idea.” He swallows, and I keep my mouth shut, letting him get out what he’s trying to say. “I have never connected with anyone the way I do with you, and the thought of you disappearing from my life, of you leaving, it scares the hell out of me.”
I frown, shaking my head. “Why would I leave?”
Mitch sighs, resting his forehead against my own. “I’m not easy to deal with, Starling. I have mood swings and temper tantrums. And I don’t like people messing with the people I love, but I shut down sometimes too. Sometimes I need the quiet to get my mind right.”
“I can give that to you,” I say, reaching up to clench his wrist, wanting desperately for him to never let me go. “I can give you your space. I just don’t want you to push me away.”
He shakes his head. “Never. I never will.”
I can’t wait any longer, and I press my lips to his, holding him to me just like I did when he picked me up. We move until I’m sitting in his lap, kissing intensely, afraid to let the other one go.
When we need a breath of air, he smiles against my mouth, our breaths moving in harmony. “Wanna swim?”
I pull back, eye the dark behind me, and turn back to him nervously. “It’s dark.”
He shakes his head, grabbing the hem of my dress and lifting it up and over my head. I let him, feeling the summer night air kiss my skin. “I’ll keep you safe.”
I follow his moves, taking off every piece of clothing until there’s not a stitch left. We wade into the thankfully warm water, our hands held tight together, and I follow his lead.
He pulls me into him, his mouth attacking my own with fervor and something more. Something that rests deep in my heart and stomach. Something that I’m not quite ready to name, but at the same time, I want to burst with the feeling of it all.
Instead, I keep my mouth shut and kiss the man in my arms, letting myself enjoy this moment.
26
mitch
I takeone final deep breath before I dismount from my bike. In summer, it is all I want to ride, but lately I’ve been using my car for times when Juniper is around. It is easier, plus I can hold her hand and look at her face.
I can’t believe what a sucker I’ve become.
She doesn’t even realize what she does to me. That’s the funny part. Every time we’re together, she acts surprised that I’m still here, still hanging around, still following her home every night, or dragging her to the cabin. No idea what she’s shocked about. The girl has to know that my feelings for her are very, very real.
I have never been with someone like I’ve been with her, not on a deep committed level. I never expected to find myself in that type of relationship, never knew that I actually could feel that way about anyone.
Before Juniper dropped into my life—or I dropped into hers—I assumed that I would spend the rest of my life alone.
Now the thought of her leaving my life, of either of us going our separate ways, is like a knife to the gut. I don’t want to even think about it.
From a distance, I can hear the loud talking, the whistling, the stomp of hooves against sand and the cows mooing from their pen. I see Jax sitting on top of a fence, his hat shielding his face as he watches someone in the arena work with someone else.
