Page 67 of No Place Like Home
“Not true. Have you not been listening to me? I’m going back Thursday to interview, but they have a job available here. I can stay if I want to. And I want to. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. Home is where you are.”
I brushed her hair from her face. I didn’t want her to look away. I needed her to see me. “I know how hard relationships and love are for you, but you know what’s possible. You just have to see that you’re worth it. And, Summer, you are so worthy of respect, and youcanbe in a positive relationship. Youcanbe loved.” I held her face tight and looked hard into her eyes. “And I love you, Summer.”
I felt her freeze. Her body went rigid. Those were the words she feared above all else. Words she put no stock in, ever.
“Breathe, Summertime,” I begged.
She took in a breath and let it out but stood there still and quiet. I had a hold of her. She couldn’t move, so she closed her eyes—her way of closing out reality.
I moved my hands to her shoulders and waited.
The world stopped.
The music from the reception faded away. The only things I focused on were me and Summer. The sayingsilence is deafeningbecame my reality. There were no truer words.
“Say something,” I whispered.
She shook her head. “I can’t,” she said, her voice soft. She opened her eyes. They looked lost, empty, and glistened with tears. “We have a good thing, Rowan. Why ruin it? I don’t know how to love. And, anyway, there’s so much more you don’t—”
I placed my fingers lightly over her lips to stop the negative words from escaping. “Here’s what I know about you. I know your family life sucked. I know your parents’ relationship made you tough, independent, a little mixed up and confused during your goth years, and gave you the take-no-shit attitude that everyone who knows you loves about you. I know you deliberately chose assholes to date because you’re afraid of putting your heart out there to get stomped on again. I know all those things and Istilllove you. I’ve always loved you but have been too stupid until recently to act on my feelings. And I know you feel something for me. I felt it in your kisses and your body when we’ve made love.”
She squirmed beneath my hold, but I held on tighter and lowered my gaze to hers. “Summer, we made love, and I know that’s uncomfortable for you, but you need to face it. You feel something for me. And it’s good. It’s real good. Hell, it’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I waited. My heart beating so damn hard, it hurt. I don’t know how I expected her to react, but if she ran now . . .
“Rowan. Stop.” She jerked from my grasp, breaking our connection. “There’s just so much more I . . .” she shookher head and took a step back. “I can’t do this.” She put her hand up between us as a single tear fell down her cheek.
I moved forward, but she shook her head. “Don’t . . . I’m sorry.” Her chest heaved, and she turned and walked quickly away.
“Summer!”
She ran faster up the walk toward the pavilion.
I watched her as long as I could before I needed to lean on something. “Fuck,” I hissed, and leaned my elbows on the rail.
I tried. I gave it my all, but it was too little, too late. My heart grew heavy, and I combed my fingers through my hair. The words she left unfinished echoed in my ears. Just so much morewhat? Why did I feel like there was something left unsaid?
But most of all, what would it take to get her to realize love was worth it?
Chapter 30
Summer
Iturned before going into the pavilion. At the sight of him leaning against the railing of the bridge in defeat, my heart shattered like a crystal chandelier falling on a tiled floor. What had I done? The most caring guy I knew was hurting because of me. Maybe I should go back. Explain things to him. Tell him why I can’t promise him anything.
“There you are.” Darlene’s voice broke through the melancholy filling my soul. “Kora’s going to the house to change and get ready to leave.”
I nodded and gazed one last time toward Rowan. “Okay.” I walked past Darlene, but she stopped me.
“Summer?” She pointed toward Rowan. “What’s going on?”
I looked at her and felt my eyes fill with tears. I swallowed hard against the lump that formed in my throat. “Doesn’t matter. Come on. Kora needs us.”
She didn’t say anything else. Instead, she followed me silently to the house that had been taken over by the bridal party.
Kora, Susie, and Lilly were already there, and Kora was stepping out of her dress.
“There y’all are,” Kora said. “This has been the best night!” She gushed as she pulled on her white jumpsuit, her going-away outfit. When she turned, her face filled with emotion. “Thank you so much for being here and being a part of this day.” She hugged Lilly and Susie.
