Page 68 of No Place Like Home
“Of course,” Lilly said. “Nothing could have kept me away.”
She then turned to me and Darlene. “And you two.”
She looked at us for a second, then the waterworks she had been holding in all day finally gushed forth. Darlene followed suit. I was already emotional because of my own shitty situation, but I wasn’t going to let it out here.
Kora wrapped her arms around us both and said between sobs, “This was so much better than I ever imagined. I’m so glad you two were a part of this day.”
Darlene’s sobs matched Kora’s.
“Good God, you two,” I said, trying unsuccessfully to separate myself from them. “Come on! It’s not like you haven’t planned your wedding for a lifetime, or had a year to prepare your emotions.” I sniffed as thoughts of what I would never have wracked my brain, and a picture of Rowan jumped into my head.
“Hey,” Kora separated and wiped her eyes. “Are you crying, Summer?”
Fuck. “No.” I turned away. “Of course not.” I wiped at my cheeks quickly. Damn emotional bullshit.
“What’s going on, Summer? I know you’re not emotional about my wedding.” Kora dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and Darlene did the same.
Then Darlene snitched on me and said, “When I left the reception, I found her outside watching Rowan, and though she won’t admit it, there were tears in her eyes.”
Kora turned to me in shock, and I glared daggers at Darlene.
Kora started to speak, but I stopped her. “Don’t,” I said. “Today is not about me. It’s about you, and right now your husband’s waiting to whisk you off somewhere romantic, where I’m sure you’ll get pregnant so you and Darlene can raise your babies together like you’ve always dreamed of.”
“Yeah, Summer, you’re probably right,” Kora said. “But he can wait a little longer. What’s going on with you?”
I swiped at the air and tried my best to act like nothing was bothering me, but I was never good at acting and had to swallow down the lump that had grown in my throat. “Nothing’s going on. I’m fine.”
Yeah, I wouldn’t make it in Hollywood. Kora didn’t believe me.
“Stop, Summer,” Kora insisted. “If there’s’ something going on, you can talk to us. Though I don’t know what could have happened. I know how Rowan feels about you. I know he loves you.”
I let out a sigh. Of course she did. “It doesn’t matter. I told him I couldn’t give him the relationship he wanted, and I don’t believe in marriage. He’s wasting his time if he thinks I’ll change my mind.” Frustration fueled my words, and I walked away, my hands on my hips. I stood tall and took in deep breaths to calm my aching heart as I stared through the windows into the darkness.No one understands what’s going on, because I never told them. If they knew, they’d understand why I can’t be with Rowan.
“Hey,” Kora turned me toward her. Her determined face took me aback. “No, Summer,” she said. “You’re wasting your time if youthink you don’t deserve him. You do. Your heart knows it. That’s why you’re so upset. Don’t let your past dictate your future. Don’t repeat your parents’ mistakes. Make a new path for yourself. You’ve done so much already! You put yourself through beauty schoolandyou’re a successful stylist. Youcanlove someone. Especially Rowan.”
“Kora’s right,” Darlene agreed. “Summer, let yourself be happy.”
Lilly jumped into the conversation. “Not that you care what I think, but I grew up watching you go head-to-head with people at every turn. No one ever intimidated you, and Rowan always stood by your side. You two have always been perfect together.”
“I know I really don’t have a say as I’ve only been here for a week,” Susie said, “but I believe your upbringing isn’t something that defines you unless you let it. Look at Kai. If anyone had a right to not believe in love and family, it’s my brother. He never had anyone to take care of him or show him what it meant to truly love someone. He did all the caring. But he found Kora and let himself love her and be loved.”
Well, that was the nail in the coffin of my excuses. Damn her and her relevant life experiences. How could I tell her to shut up, she’s wrong?
I couldn’t. She was new here. She was too sweet. Hell, she made a point I couldn’t argue with. “Fine,” I conceded. “I’ll think about what y’all said. But now we need to get the glow sticks outside and let you start your honeymoon.” I grabbed the boxes of glowsticks and passed them around to Lilly and Susie.
“Summer, wait. I want to talk with you.” Kora took the glowsticks from me. “Darlene, can you go with them and hand these out?”
“Of course,” she said and followed them out.
“Summer, talk to me. Just me.”
Kora, the friend I could always count on . . . I looked at her and again my eyes filled with tears. “I know what you’re going to say, Kor, but I don’t know how to love him,” my voice was a whisper. “He deserves more.”
“You don’t know how, or you’re scared? I remember when your dad left you and how hurt you were. Then when your mom started drinking, you felt alone. Then your grandma died, and you felt deserted. But you always had us. My family. We always included you. No matter what you think, you know how to love—and you’ve always been different when Rowan’s around, a better version of yourself. There’s a glow about you, and even your sarcasm isn’t as harsh.”
Dammit. I hated when she was right, but she didn’t know the entire story. She didn’t know my secret. That was one thing I’d never even told her.
“I can’t promise that you aren’t going to hurt sometimes, but love is worth it,” she continued. “If you can tell me you don’t feel better just being around Rowan, I’ll shut up. If you tell me you have no feelings for him, I’ll never mention it again.” She grabbed my hands. “But, Summer, if you can’t say those things, you deserve to trust your heart and try. Rowan’s one of the good ones, and he loves you.”
