Page 38 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
“Hi, Kerrigan,” I say, my voice cracking as I sit on the pink rug beside her. “That’s a pretty doll you have.”
Though I’ve spent time with Kerrigan before, this time is different. This time, I know who she is and it scares the hell out of me.
“I’m going to be right down the hall.” Preston backs out of the room. “If you need anything, just shout.”
I nod, not really paying attention to him as I watch my daughter. She pulls herself to a standing position, a big smile on her face as her brunette curls bounce with every step.
She toddles her way over to me, handing me the doll before climbing into my lap. Kerrigan babbles to herself in her own little language while holding her doll.
In that moment, I know there is nowhere else I would rather be.
“I know I missed a lot of your life,” I say, curling one of the soft strands of her hair around my finger. “But I promise that I’m going to be here for the rest of the big moments. I’m not going to miss anything else.”
Kerrigan looks at me with a big smile on her face. Though I doubt she understands much of what I’m saying, that smile is enough to make my day.
I would do anything to keep seeing that smile.
Time passes as Kerrigan plays with her stuffed doll in my lap, I can’t help but think about the one person that is missing. Hannah should be here with us.
While I can appreciate that she wants to give me some alone time to make up for the months that I missed, she should be here. We should be acting like the little family that we are — even if all she wants to be are co-parents.
“You know, one of these days I’m going to convince your mama that we should all be together.” I run my fingers through the soft chocolate curls on Kerrigan’s head. “You look so much like her. I’m not sure there is any part of me in there.”
“Just wait until you see her climb onto a dining table and jump off without a care in the world,” Hannah says, her voice soft. I look over my shoulder to see her standing in the doorway. “She might look like me, but she has your fearlessness.”
It feels like there’s a lump in my throat as I turn my attention back to Kerrigan. “Looks like it’s time for me to go, kiddo.”
“No,” Hannah says, her voice wavering slightly. “It’s only been a couple hours. You can stay for a few more. She looks like she’s enjoying herself, and I could use some more time to work on my book.”
Hope rises in my chest at her words. “Okay. I’d love to keep watching her while you work.”
“Just come get me if there’s anything you need. She should be going down for a nap in an hour or so, but if you want to stay through that and see her when she wakes up, you can.”
I glance over at her again. “Thank you. I really do appreciate this.”
Hannah shrugs, an easy smile on her face though she won’t look me in the eyes. “You’re her parent too. We’ll figure out this co-parenting thing one day at a time, but this seems like a pretty good start to me. It’s clear that she’s comfortable with you.”
She watches us for a moment longer before walking out. I hear the floorboards squeaking in the hallway before a door shuts, leaving me alone with my daughter again.
I smile as Kerrigan points at her little tea party table.
Hannah is right, this is a pretty good start.
Brodie nearly inhales the burger I hand him later that evening. He grins and takes a large bite before reaching for the milkshake. “This is great. If I had to eat another one of those sad chicken dinners, I was going to lose my mind.”
“You could have asked me to bring you food sooner.” I sip my own milkshake. “I’ll bring something else tomorrow night. Maybe some fish tacos.”
“You know the way to a man’s heart,” Brodie says, grinning as he finishes his burger. “So, how did meeting Kerrigan go?”
“Well, we played with her dolls and had a little tea party. She’s so smart, man. She’s already walking most places and she can say a few words.”
My cheeks ache from smiling as I think about the afternoon I had with her. There isn’t anything in the world I would trade that day with Kerrigan for.
“You’re going to have to bring her to meet me eventually, if Hannah is okay with that.” Brodie grins and leans back into his pillows. “I’m happy for you, Holden. I know when we were overseas together you didn’t ever think that you would have a family of your own.”
“Yeah.” I comb my fingers through my hair. “It’s weird to think that the second I stepped back into the city, I had a family waiting for me.”
“How is Hannah dealing with this? I can’t imagine that it’s easy for her. She’s been the only parent in your daughter’s life for nearly two years.”
