Page 57 of Ruin
He chuckles. “You won’t do it wrong, sweet boy.”
“I could.”
“You won’t,” he says firmly.
“When do you want me to do this?” I ask, running a hand through my hair.
I wasn’t expecting this sort of pressure tonight.
He leans over, kissing my lips and working at the button on my jeans. I almost shove him off, because I’m terrified he’s going to saynow.
“Soon. When I can get us a room again.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Please do,” he says, kissing my jaw before leaning down and taking my dick into his mouth.
I groan, his hot mouth sucking me like a fucking professional. I thrust my hips up, imagining that his mouth is his ass. I bet it would feel different. Tighter, definitely. Maybe warmer too? Or maybe not. Maybe it’ll be the opposite and it won’t be so warm.
“Lucian, fuck,” I say, resting my head back and digging my nails into the seat. “I’m close already.”
He keeps sucking me, not letting up, letting me know that he wants my cum. He loves my cum. He’s told me some things he’s thought about doing with it. Like putting it on his food or smearing it in his underwear so he can wear them out and think of me. The thought was weird at first, but then I thought about it more and it got me hard. I love the idea of him liking my cum so much, and I hope one day we’ll be able to try those things. Ipicture him pouring my cum over his pancakes and eating them. I may explode just watching that. I don’t hate his cum, but I certainly don’t obsess over it the way he obsesses over mine. I’m just obsessed with him.
“Give it to me, sweet boy. Give me what I need,” he says, his hot breath against my cock as he slowly jerks me off. He runs his cheek along my dick, then breathes me in. “I want it.”
He takes me into his mouth again, swirling his tongue around me, and I lose it. I erupt, the orgasm making my toes go numb.
Lucian kisses the tip of my dick when he releases it from his mouth, then puts it back in my pants and zips me up.
I know most relationships don’t have this sort of intimacy, and that’s what confuses me the most about this. I try not to focus on when this is going to end and instead focus on what we’re doing. I have him now, and that’s what should matter. I learned a long time ago that hoping for something more is useless. All it does is allow disappointment into your life. I hoped my father would stop being a piece of shit. Never happened. I hoped to never be part of this MC. Never happened. I hoped for years that my mother would come back from the dead and make everything all better like she used to when I was little. Didn’t fucking happen.
Hope is nothing but heartache on hold.
How can Lucian be this way with me, then go home to his wife? Is he this way with her? Because I’m an idiot, I ask.
“Do you do these things foryour wife?”
Lucian gives me a strange look as he drops into the seat beside me. “Do what?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Like, take care of her like this.”
“You mean do I pleasure her with my mouth?”
Well, when he says it like that…
“Forget it.”
“I don’t,” he adds quickly. “Haven’t in a long time.”
We just had a conversation about him leaving his wife a month ago, at the hotel for his birthday. But it feels unfinished. Maybe it just feels that way because I didn’t get the answer I wanted. I should accept that I never will. That this, what we’re doing now, is all I’ll ever be.
A secret in the back of his car.
“Come here,” he says, holding his arm out. I lean into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He kisses my temple. “You’re perfect, Kolton. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
I only want you to tell me. You’re all that matters.
Chapter Twenty-Five
